onelifeonelove Posted August 17, 2014 Author Share Posted August 17, 2014 Same here. First love, first heartbreak, first time experiencing this kind of feeling but if this doesnt happen, I'll never realize my problems, what I lack when in a relationship & all the things I need to improve myself. Just one more thing, remember this is going to be a rollercoaster ride, sometimes you are OK, sometimes you feel so numb and shaking with what happened in your relationship & all the memories with her. Still feeling this way but I am staying positive. Learn to love yourself first before loving other people. I know its hard as I am still strugling to get over her but we need to be strong. Just hang in there & dont let weakness take over your life.. Ah I see yeah that's very true. I wouldn't have seen my flaws and stuff if it weren't for the break up. That's something my ex wanted to tell me too. She's hoping I'm gonna change after this but is talking to someone else to fill in for me lol >_> anyway, she's still a good person and like I said, I will be her friend when the time comes. That may not escalate but I don't mind settling down as friends because we once were friends too. Just a question for you. How long has it been since the breakup? How long was the relationship itself? I'm glad you're thinking positive, I'm gonna slowly get there too man. I want to sign up for the gym and work on myself. I want to do the things in life that I enjoy, that includes games lol ^^ and if I do find someone else, (not anytime soon), I will not take them for granted whatsoever! Link to comment
Kuala Posted August 17, 2014 Share Posted August 17, 2014 Lol.. I started playing games again since it made me busy which sometimes get her off my mind, & ofcourse I enjoyed it. But when a new partner comes to my life its goodbye games for me, just keeping myself busy at the moment. We have been together for 6years & 3months. Then 1 month after BU she entered a new relationship with her workmate, maybe they are flirting with each other while we are still together. Its hard for me, had been stalking her FB before but I already stopped becoz it doesnt help my healing & seeing her with this new guy is really hurting me. No more chances of reconcillation or even friendship for us but thats life. Its hard but we must accept it & move on with our own life. Link to comment
onelifeonelove Posted August 17, 2014 Author Share Posted August 17, 2014 It doesn't even help lol games and friends still remind me of her *sigh*. But over time it will get easier ^^ man 6 years is a lot, I'm really sorry that happended to you.. I want to know how long it's been since the break up though? And lol I stalk her FB too but this guy she talks to is far off miles somewhere so I don't have to worry about pics of them together as of now. Her pics alone do look happy though idk why.. Link to comment
Kuala Posted August 17, 2014 Share Posted August 17, 2014 2 months only, still too early to say that I had already moved on becoz to be honest, Im not. I am still strugling espcially when I woke up in the morning, thats the hardest part for me. Sometimes I dreamt of her which makes waking up so hard realizing she is not with me anymore. Still a long way for me but in time I know I will totally heal, staying positive & thinking of good future & better partner helps me alot. Still thinking of reconcillation becoz we once thought they really are the one but not dwelling on that anymore. I also stopped going to this site even though it helped me alot becoz it reminds me of my ex everytime I see stories like yours but also giving advices make me feel stronger. Link to comment
3Tears Posted August 17, 2014 Share Posted August 17, 2014 anyway, she's still a good person and like I said, I will be her friend when the time comes. That may not escalate but I don't mind settling down as friends because we once were friends too. Wrong approach again... You don't want this girl just as your friend, you like this girl romantically as your lover. If you think that you're going to win her back by being her friend let me tell you its not going to work, you WILL be put in the friendzone and you're gonna have to hear about all the boyfriend problems shes having and how her new bf treats her, how much she loves him and blah blah blah, are you up for all that pain and bs? Link to comment
onelifeonelove Posted August 17, 2014 Author Share Posted August 17, 2014 2 months only, still too early to say that I had already moved on becoz to be honest, Im not. I am still strugling espcially when I woke up in the morning, thats the hardest part for me. Sometimes I dreamt of her which makes waking up so hard realizing she is not with me anymore. Still a long way for me but in time I know I will totally heal, staying positive & thinking of good future & better partner helps me alot. Still thinking of reconcillation becoz we once thought they really are the one but not dwelling on that anymore. I also stopped going to this site even though it helped me alot becoz it reminds me of my ex everytime I see stories like yours but also giving advices make me feel stronger. I'm glad you're really keeping strong man, and I'm glad you're still on this site because honestly you're helping me out a LOT. And yes, helping people out makes you stronger too. It's like how you're helping someone out with school subject, you're getting better at it too. So thanks again man. I have those dreams too, I sometimes dream about being with her and talking to her but I wake up shaking knowing she's not with me anymore it's sad it really is.. But I'm slowly getting better.. Wrong approach again... You don't want this girl just as your friend, you like this girl romantically as your lover. If you think that you're going to win her back by being her friend let me tell you its not going to work, you WILL be put in the friendzone and you're gonna have to hear about all the boyfriend problems shes having and how her new bf treats her, how much she loves him and blah blah blah, are you up for all that pain and bs? Not the wrong approach at all. I'm saying, at the minimum, I would remind her friend FOR GOOD. That means, if I fail to win her back, then I'll still want to be friends with her while also moving on with my love life. Why? Because this girl means a lot to me as a friend in general and as a person. I of course, would love to be more than just a friend but if all else fails then friend zone it is. I wouldn't mind hearing her boyfriend issues because by the time I decide to be her friend and ONLY her friend, I'd be over her both emotionally and romantically. I'll probably end up doing the same to her anyways about the whole bf gf issue thing haha. Link to comment
3Tears Posted August 17, 2014 Share Posted August 17, 2014 Not the wrong approach at all. I'm saying, at the minimum, I would remind her friend FOR GOOD. That means, if I fail to win her back, then I'll still want to be friends with her while also moving on with my love life. Why? Because this girl means a lot to me as a friend in general and as a person. I of course, would love to be more than just a friend but if all else fails then friend zone it is. I wouldn't mind hearing her boyfriend issues because by the time I decide to be her friend and ONLY her friend, I'd be over her both emotionally and romantically. I'll probably end up doing the same to her anyways about the whole bf gf issue thing haha. You're saying that now because you're desperate to having her back in your life. Once you actually LOVE and you're with a person as a lover, its extremely hard to get reduced to just being friends, unless you only dated for a few months. For you to be her friend and be over her romantically and emotionally you need YEARS apart, years of NC and probably with new partners each... and even then you don't know what may happen. Link to comment
Kuala Posted August 17, 2014 Share Posted August 17, 2014 Sad but true.. Making friend with an ex is not a good idea at the moment. You still have feelings for her, and as you said your purpose is to win her back. Being friend with her would not help you right now. You must first let go of you relationship, move on with your life then once you come to the point of acceptance & forgiveness then that is the time you consider making friend with her again. It takes time. If you are not good as partners but you are good friends then she'll consider you as one of her friend again but that wont happen now or tomorrow or the next 2 months. Link to comment
onelifeonelove Posted August 17, 2014 Author Share Posted August 17, 2014 Don't worry guys, I wasn't talking about anytime soon. I'm just saying when I feel comfortable, that's when. Time will tell. Link to comment
Brotherhood67 Posted August 18, 2014 Share Posted August 18, 2014 Not the wrong approach at all. I'm saying, at the minimum, I would remind her friend FOR GOOD. That means, if I fail to win her back, then I'll still want to be friends with her while also moving on with my love life. Why? Because this girl means a lot to me as a friend in general and as a person. I of course, would love to be more than just a friend but if all else fails then friend zone it is. Hum... This cannot work. Now you THINK it can work because you're not with her, she is not in your surroundings. You are not close to her. If you are again close to her, kiss her even on the cheeks to say hello, see her, talk to her, do you really think you would be ok with being her friend ? Pardon my crudeness but we are guys, right ? So how will you feel when you'll have a boner just by touching her ? Riiiiiight, she is your friend... And you will be happy with this... ^-^ I'll probably end up doing the same to her anyways about the whole bf gf issue thing haha. With one major difference. She won't care and be hurt. You will. Link to comment
onelifeonelove Posted August 18, 2014 Author Share Posted August 18, 2014 Hum... This cannot work. Now you THINK it can work because you're not with her, she is not in your surroundings. You are not close to her. If you are again close to her, kiss her even on the cheeks to say hello, see her, talk to her, do you really think you would be ok with being her friend ? Pardon my crudeness but we are guys, right ? So how will you feel when you'll have a boner just by touching her ? Riiiiiight, she is your friend... And you will be happy with this... ^-^ With one major difference. She won't care and be hurt. You will. It'll be fine, I won't be close to her anytime soon anyways. But yeah, I know what you mean. Gonna wait and see what happens with this girl Link to comment
onelifeonelove Posted August 18, 2014 Author Share Posted August 18, 2014 I must confess.. I kinda broke broke the NC rule by texting her. I regret it now.. She replied but can't talk atm. . What now?? Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted August 18, 2014 Share Posted August 18, 2014 I must confess.. I kinda broke broke the NC rule by texting her. I regret it now.. She replied but can't talk atm. . What now?? Stop contacting her. I know you don't think she's gone, but she is. She's not your gf anymore and only time will tell if you become friends again. Link to comment
GK196 Posted August 18, 2014 Share Posted August 18, 2014 I must confess.. I kinda broke broke the NC rule by texting her. I regret it now.. She replied but can't talk atm. . What now?? Whatever you do don't contact her again. If she wants to talk to you, she will. Give her some space!! My boyfriend and I broke up almost 2 weeks ago and I've been NC for more than a week. I know it's so hard but it gets easier every day. Distract yourself. If you feel like reaching out, text a friend instead or call someone. I promise you'll feel better about yourself in the long run Link to comment
onelifeonelove Posted August 18, 2014 Author Share Posted August 18, 2014 She's gonna call later and I'm setting things straight this time. Last time what I said to her was very vague and very poor. I'll set things smooth this time and no I didn't whine or beg so I'm okay in that area. I was just worried if she was okay or not. But yeah when she calls I'll tell her about me wanting a break and wanting to wait until I'm comfortable to talk to her. I'm gonna make it a mystery for her. COMPLETE NC this time. No Facebook no pics no nothing. She will be wondering what happened to me cuz I'm gonna wait very long this time around until she contacts me, even if that means never. So yeah. I'm gonna move on and not look back AFTER I settle things right today Link to comment
Shane Falco Posted August 18, 2014 Share Posted August 18, 2014 I must confess.. I kinda broke broke the NC rule by texting her. I regret it now.. She replied but can't talk atm. . What now?? There's no "kinda" -- you broke it 100 percent. Stop breaking it. Link to comment
onelifeonelove Posted August 18, 2014 Author Share Posted August 18, 2014 @GK196 Thanks for the advice. It got easier believe me, but I got too curious today haha. It won't happen again after today I swear.. If she doesn't contact me then she doesn't love me enough! @Shane Yeah you're right. I won't break it anymore like I said. I need to set things more smooth today and be a man about it. Link to comment
Shane Falco Posted August 18, 2014 Share Posted August 18, 2014 She's gonna call later and I'm setting things straight this time. Last time what I said to her was very vague and very poor. I'll set things smooth this time and no I didn't whine or beg so I'm okay in that area. I was just worried if she was okay or not. But yeah when she calls I'll tell her about me wanting a break and wanting to wait until I'm comfortable to talk to her. I'm gonna make it a mystery for her. COMPLETE NC this time. No Facebook no pics no nothing. She will be wondering what happened to me cuz I'm gonna wait very long this time around until she contacts me, even if that means never. So yeah. I'm gonna move on and not look back AFTER I settle things right today Oh no. The "setting it straight" conversation, major rookie mistake. Odds are you'll feel good, then there will be something you forgot to "set straight", then you'll try to get in contact again and continue this whole cycle. You don't need to have the last word, just fade to black. Stop talking to her, stop with the declarative statements, stop shooting yourself in the foot and get out of contact immediately. Stop making yourself looking like a chump. Link to comment
onelifeonelove Posted August 18, 2014 Author Share Posted August 18, 2014 Oh no. The "setting it straight" conversation, major rookie mistake. Odds are you'll feel good, then there will be something you forgot to "set straight", then you'll try to get in contact again and continue this whole cycle. You don't need to have the last word, just fade to black. Stop talking to her, stop with the declarative statements, stop shooting yourself in the foot and get out of contact immediately. Stop making yourself looking like a chump. It was a mistake yup but I'm not leaving like this. She said she'll call later and I feel like it'll make it worse if I just vanish. One quick session. It may be the last, I'm serious. Link to comment
Shane Falco Posted August 18, 2014 Share Posted August 18, 2014 It was a mistake yup but I'm not leaving like this. She said she'll call later and I feel like it'll make it worse if I just vanish. One quick session. It may be the last, I'm serious. One quick session -- you sound like a drug addict. You need to stop NOW! Link to comment
onelifeonelove Posted August 18, 2014 Author Share Posted August 18, 2014 Might just leave cold turkey actually Link to comment
Shane Falco Posted August 18, 2014 Share Posted August 18, 2014 Might just leave cold turkey actually Now you are starting to think correctly. Link to comment
onelifeonelove Posted August 19, 2014 Author Share Posted August 19, 2014 Now you are starting to think correctly. This sudden surge of confidence strikes me every now and then. I think of it as her loss because it'll be hard for her to find another guy who will go through THICK AND THIN with her as well as give her the love I once gave her lmao. She decides to give up instead of making it work, yet once told me she'll always be through thick and thin with me XD Link to comment
ohboo Posted August 19, 2014 Share Posted August 19, 2014 So, did you talk to her? What happened? I don't think there was anything wrong with you reaching out to try to talk to her and give it a last shot. I know what everyone says about NC, and I do agree with NC. But, in your case, she broke up because of ways you were acting, and you seem to want to change those things because you've realized that you really do want to be with her. Reaching out to just try to talk to her about it, is not a bad thing. Worst case scenario, she says no and really doesn't want to be with you. Then you can move along, get over it knowing you at least tried, and work on yourself to be better for the next great person that comes along! Link to comment
onelifeonelove Posted August 19, 2014 Author Share Posted August 19, 2014 So, did you talk to her? What happened? I don't think there was anything wrong with you reaching out to try to talk to her and give it a last shot. I know what everyone says about NC, and I do agree with NC. But, in your case, she broke up because of ways you were acting, and you seem to want to change those things because you've realized that you really do want to be with her. Reaching out to just try to talk to her about it, is not a bad thing. Worst case scenario, she says no and really doesn't want to be with you. Then you can move along, get over it knowing you at least tried, and work on yourself to be better for the next great person that comes along! No I decided to not talk to her and left a message saying stuff like how I need the space still and that I only contacted her because I was worried if she's okay or not. I'll play the waiting game and hope she misses me. This guy HAS to be a rebound. It won't last. I'll wait 6 months MAX and if it doesn't resolve then im officially done. Right now, I can't date anyone because I sill have unresolved feelings for her Link to comment
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