Do I Still Have A Chance?..

[Shane Falco]

No I decided to not talk to her and left a message saying stuff like how I need the space still and that I only contacted her because I was worried if she's okay or not. I'll play the waiting game and hope she misses me. This guy HAS to be a rebound. It won't last. I'll wait 6 months MAX and if it doesn't resolve then im officially done. Right now, I can't date anyone because I sill have unresolved feelings for her

 

Dude, don't wait like a chump. You need to move forward and she needs to run to catch up to you. And people sometimes marry their "rebounds" or, at the very least, date them for a long time. So stop wasting your time running in place. That would be foolish. No waiting game, no waiting, keep moving. If she wants you, she'll catch up.

[onelifeonelove]

Dude, don't wait like a chump. You need to move forward and she needs to run to catch up to you. And people sometimes marry their "rebounds" or, at the very least, date them for a long time. So stop wasting your time running in place. That would be foolish. No waiting game, no waiting, keep moving. If she wants you, she'll catch up.

 

I understand that I shouldn't wait. But I can't control how I feel. I can't just force myself to lose feelings even if I move on with my life. It'll still be there and I don't want a new relationship is what I'm saying

[ohboo]

I agree with Shane, don't wait. But, I also get what you're saying about not being able to date right now.

 

I'm in the same boat. Can't date because I'm not over the ex. It's ok to realize that. Moving on doesn't mean you have to be with someone else. If you're NC the whole 6 months, you'll see in a few months you'll start to get over her. It doesn't mean you won't still care for her, but the feelings you feel now will subside a bit and you won't feel the way you do now.

 

Take the 6 months to do stuff for yourself, work on yourself like you said you wanted to. Go out with friends. Get a hobby. Just be with you and get happy again. I'm not waiting for my ex to get in touch with me, I've convinced myself he never will, and that I'll be ok.

 

I have a trick, that I sometimes use after relationships end if I feel badly. I am not a therapist, nor do I know if this is even healthy or right to do, but I do it, and it does help. I think back to the last person that really broke my heart, or the last time I really felt hurt during a break up. And I think about that person, and I think about how I feel about them now. 9 times out of 10, I feel nothing for them. And that helps me realize that in time, this will be the same.

 

Time does help, it also does suck to think about, but use the time to do something that will make you feel good about yourself. Set a work out goal and get super fit. Start eating better. Quit smoking (if you smoke). You know what I mean? Something that will make you feel like you accomplished something. I find that tends to help me a bit. It doesn't fix the entire problem, but baby steps, little things help over time Best of luck to you!

[Shane Falco]

I understand that I shouldn't wait. But I can't control how I feel. I can't just force myself to lose feelings even if I move on with my life. It'll still be there and I don't want a new relationship is what I'm saying

 

You aren't going to lose feelings overnight. But what you can't afford to do is wait around and not take the steps to recover from this and move forward. Sitting there like a pud doing nothing won't get you where you need to go.

[onelifeonelove]

I find it difficult to just feel nothing like that. Who knows I'll just lose hope and feelings for her. I know it's not good to wait but I'm trying to get over that part!! I'm doing much better than I ever did compared to the first few days of break up though.. I'd still like to speak with you personally about this but again, I can't PM yet -_-

 

 

 

I'm not yeah, and I'm trying to see it as moving on but it's harder done than said. My problem is, I care too much about people and that makes me weak. But I'll take this time alone to better myself.

[ohboo]

Onelifetolive, you CAN private message now! I just checked, and I could message you. Check your inbox I'm happy to chat with you if you'd like.

[deadmareish]

If you really want to get back with her next time she initiates contact (notice I said she initiates) then you ask her to go out somewhere with you to catch up on things, if she says no then you're fine with it and cut the conversation short, you do this 2 times, next times she initiate contact you re do the same thing, if she says no or shes wishy washy, you tell her its fine and cut the conversation short and you never do that again, you keep moving forward, walk away and never look back.

 

What if they always say yes, but then... nothing else... You just meet up?

[onelifeonelove]

Just an update guys.

 

So I've been feeling somewhat better about this. I'm still depressed and I'm still lifeless but I'm starting to move on. The absolute worst part though, is night time... I would wake up in the middle of the night shaking and sweating and my heart beating fast. I suddenly get the sinking feeling of loneliness.. And realize that I'm no longer with her.. I often dream about her as if everything was okay between us but then.. I somehow force myself to wake up because of the overwhelming emotions this has been going on exactly every night since breakup!!

 

I don't know what to do I'm sad I'm confused I'm lost. I can't grieve enough, just can't. Everyday is a disaster for me. I'm starting to lose my mind honestly.. Love is a powerful tool, but losing it is even more powerful.. It's like a sudden withdraw from drugs, where you suffer from side effects. I love her with all my heart, and I always will love her til I'm 6 feet under..

[Shane Falco]

This post is exactly why you can't be in contact with her. You aren't remotely ready for it. Honestly, you have to stay out of all contact and let this dissipate. It'll take a while, but if you stay truly in No Contact, you'll heal in time. Like you said, you're a drug addict, so it's time to stay in rehab.

[onelifeonelove]

This post is exactly why you can't be in contact with her. You aren't remotely ready for it. Honestly, you have to stay out of all contact and let this dissipate. It'll take a while, but if you stay truly in No Contact, you'll heal in time. Like you said, you're a drug addict, so it's time to stay in rehab.

 

I realized that yeah. I'm stopping all contact with her. I do find myself happy at one point but then depressed the next. Rollercoasters suck man haha..

[onelifeonelove]

I know it won't help much but I'm gonna see a counselor today.. I'm tired of waking up sad every morning with the realization of her being gone and out of my life.. It hurts so much to know she's talking to someone else. It's so hard for me to move on and forget about her, especially because we were so happy together not long ago. Weeks later and bam, she's gone with the wind.. just like that..

[Shane Falco]

I know it won't help much but I'm gonna see a counselor today.. I'm tired of waking up sad every morning with the realization of her being gone and out of my life.. It hurts so much to know she's talking to someone else. It's so hard for me to move on and forget about her, especially because we were so happy together not long ago. Weeks later and bam, she's gone with the wind.. just like that..

 

This is a good step. Nothing wrong with seeing a counselor and airing out your thoughts to another person face-to-face. It can be very therapeutic and shows maturity. I hope it helps you.

[onelifeonelove]

This is a good step. Nothing wrong with seeing a counselor and airing out your thoughts to another person face-to-face. It can be very therapeutic and shows maturity. I hope it helps you.

 

Yeah I dipped on my appointment today though LOL took too long.. Went to chill with my friends instead haha. I'll go another time