im confused! effin need advice

[hellja]

there's this guy very close to me. He is my workmate. He already has a family. One night there was party near the company we work for. We drink like sky is the limit. Twa's my last day with my officemates too for I am going abroad. He was sitting from the other table while I was with my girl friends. He was already drunk when he sat next to me. He put his arms around me and then invited me to go somewhere else with him. I bid goodbye with my friends then we left the bar. He brought me to hotel. While lying down on bed,he said he loves me but I didnt believe him because he was drunk. It is obviously he has a serious problem with his partner. He said it's been a month since they broke up already. He even asked me if i do love him too but i answered "i dunno" but deep inside I really do. We almost even had sex that night. He kissed me..then hugged me..even tried to take off my clothes. I refused to make out with him cos I was afraid I might get pregnant for I was about to leave for my job abroad. Besides, i dont wanna have sex with him since i wasnt sure about his feelings for me. He even asked me for a chance for us of being in a relationship and I told him I will. He kissed me again and tried to make out with me. Actually, i wanted to give in that night..but i hardly controlled myself so there was really no sex happened. The next day, I couldnt believe that just happened. I was waiting for his call or text but there was none. The next morning, I came to office and I thought I was going to see him but he was absent that day. I called him and asked to meet him to talk about us and it was fine with him but he didnt show up. He said he had done something. so i just txt discuss it in a txt message. I asked him if what he said were all true. Sadly, he replied me with "i'm sorry". He took the words back and said he cares for me but not for anything else, that he was just drunk. i didnt talk to him for almost a month. But now i already forgave him and even talk to him but since then things have changed. I thought things wud be the same. It's like he's getting cold to me. We only chat some times unlike bfore. No more teasing on social media. Even our friends noticed that changes. Now, ive heard that he is reunited with his partner. Im confused..does he really have something for me? Why did he say that then take them back? Why do things have to change?

[Capricorn3]

Now, ive heard that he is reunited with his partner. Im confused..does he really have something for me? Why did he say that then take them back?

No, he never had anything for you. He said those things because he was drunk. When he was sober he let you know it wasn't true and that he was drunk. Seems he's back with his partner, so best to let it go and move. There's nothing there for you.

[greta96]

The way I see it, this is a very straight forward situation. He wasn't broken up with his partner that night, he only said so hoping it would improve his chances of having sex with you - hence the hotel.

He was drunk, he wanted to cheat, he knew you liked him and he knew seeing you at work wasn't going to be a problem, since that was your last day before going away.

Since sex didn't happen, he saw no more reasons to butter you up, so he started avoiding you every way he could. You wanted explanations, and he had no explanations to give you, he was too coward to tell you the truth: that he was still in a relationship, and that he only wanted a romp in the sack with you.

 

I highly doubt he has any kind of feelings for you (except for maybe some basic attraction men have towards women). Nothing changed, he just didn't get what he wanted and what he had worked for (sex), so he went on living his life merrily with his partner.

 

Just congratulate yourself for not giving in that night, you really dodged a major bullet by showing self restraint. Don't regret not having had sex, because the outcome would have been the same - he would have still avoided you after, only you would have felt used and ashamed on top of it.

[SooSad33]

That was his 'weak' moment. He's since straightened up and has gone back to her.. probably with regrets of what he's done.

 

Respectfully, back off & let him deal with his life.

 

The coldness is because of that event. He went too far & feels some shame.

[hellja]

When i asked him what happened to their relationship he didnt wanna talk about it but he cried to me..and that was the very first time i saw him cry. Maybe thats d reason why somehow i believe wat he said..