lost, fearful, and hurt

[monicasays]

First, i wanna thank of the good people here that took time to read this and are patient with me..

 

I know i shouldnt read too much into the lines.. i know i should get up and move on.. but its been 3days since i last contacted her.. and rather than feeling great i felt like total cr4p and so beaten up. I can barely eat anything and i have a new job coming up tomorrow.

 

My ex dumped me in June.. and finalized the break up just last week. Im horribly crushed..

 

Anyway.. during the NC period i bumped into her at a local pub we normally go to. Never in my wildest expectation to see her there. Sigh. Anyway, i went with my guy friend that night and she hates that friend of mine to the bone. She doesnt like him and while we're together she told me to cut off contacts with him. So i did. Now we're back in touch.

 

So she did come over to our table and said hi and asked me how am i.. i acted casually and she went back to her table, had fun, laughed alot, basically just having a good good time. When she left the pub she didnt bother to say gdbye to me.. so i called her and she picked up. Rather casually she said "oh i cant see u i gotta go. And im in a middle of a photo session right now." And hung up.

 

 

Then i did the unthinkable. I blew her cell up. I flooded her whatsapp with texts and voice texts. I kept on asking her whether she already have a new gf. I continued "harassing" her since 1am until 3.47am. Then she replied.

 

"Just now that girl u saw was an old friend of mine. Now im friends with everybody. I dont have anybody else right now and i want u to stop disturbing my life."

 

 

I know.. u can spare me the "crazy harrasing stalker" thing. I know im wrong. But.. the fact that she replied when shes not even obligated to, does that mean something?

 

 

And do u think shes being honest about the fact that she doesn't have anybody?

 

Any advise would be much appreciated.. tq.. and i don't mind listening to ur insights.. no matter how blunt it may sound.

[jjkk]

She replied and asked you to stop contacting her. Yes that means something. It means leave her alone. No more phone calls or texts, go back to NC.

 

I have no idea if she's being honest about not having anybody or not. I would assume she's telling the truth and respect her request to leave her alone.

 

Sorry you're hurting so bad. I know it's rough, especially at the beginning but you can make it through. Brighter days are ahead!

[monicasays]

She replied and asked you to stop contacting her. Yes that means something. It means leave her alone. No more phone calls or texts, go back to NC.

 

I have no idea if she's being honest about not having anybody or not. I would assume she's telling the truth and respect her request to leave her alone.

 

Sorry you're hurting so bad. I know it's rough, especially at the beginning but you can make it through. Brighter days are ahead!

 

Thanks for replying. . Im no longer texting her.. i just feel so hurt seeing her live life normally and happily. I want her back so badly and i dont know if i stand a chance at this..

[autumnsun]

Right now, look at it as if you don't have a chance. It is the only way you'll be able to move into accepting that the break up is a reality and allow you to move on with your life. You have to cut contact with her for your own sake. Focus on healing the feelings of hurt, rejection and confusion. Start living YOUR life for you. And please, stop frequenting places - for the time being - where you used to spend a lot of time with your ex. You will keep running into her and it will only hurt you time and time again.

[3Tears]

Yes it DOES mean something!

 

It means, to leave her alone. Don't ever text her, call, whatsapp. Delete her from your phone, facebook, instagram and any other social medias.

[t1lersm0m1]

The fact she replied means nothing. If she wanted to be with you, she'd be with you. A reply to a text has no hidden meaning, so please don't look for one.

[monicasays]

I do know that her replying contains no hidden meaning.. and that she told me off to stop harrasing her life. It hurt to hear that from her.. and i dont even know if she hates me or will we ever speak or see each other again. I kept reminding myself that i am stressing on something that i cannot change.. and its driving me nuts. Lol but yeah.. the heaet still misses what it cant have.. and that is my one who got away..

 

I read success stories after nc. I hoped that would happen to me too.. i gotta work on myself first...

[t1lersm0m1]

She's not the one who got away. Trust me, there will be plenty more opportunities for love when you are ready. But if you've identified things in your life you can improve, then focus on that. Time really does heal, it may not seem like it, but it does.

[monicasays]

She's not the one who got away. Trust me, there will be plenty more opportunities for love when you are ready. But if you've identified things in your life you can improve, then focus on that. Time really does heal, it may not seem like it, but it does.

 

 

thanks for the encouragement.. i really appreciate it.. although i know there will be many more opportunities right now the heart just wants what the brain objects.. lol the heart and the brain never listened to one another.. if only i can handle both emotions and logic.. i can grow a long way.

 

i wonder if talking and telling things to myself aloud would make me stronger. dont wanna appear as a total psycho but =\ when one's desperate, she IS desperate LOL.

 

i'd like to hear what others accomplished too and how they manage to crawl out from this darkness and be the happy person they used to be bfore this..

[t1lersm0m1]

The only thing that helps with a break up is time, and TRULY FEELING the pain. Not masking it by having meaningless sex, or drinking, or jumping into another relationship before you're ready. Letting the pain and other emotions do their thing.

 

Use this opportunity to go through this break up and learn about yourself.

[monicasays]

The only thing that helps with a break up is time, and TRULY FEELING the pain. Not masking it by having meaningless sex, or drinking, or jumping into another relationship before you're ready. Letting the pain and other emotions do their thing.

 

Use this opportunity to go through this break up and learn about yourself.

 

 

yes im feeling every ounce of the pain now.. wish there was an easier way. i dont have much friends to engage activities with.. and by staying home and watching dramas aint helping me much either

[t1lersm0m1]

Reconnect with old friends. Make new ones! Read a good book! Go to a state park and walk around, connect with nature. Take up a craft, a musical instrument....there are so many things you can do.

 

I've gotten into photography. It helps occupy my time. I took pics of my son and his gf at a local park, and posted to FB. His gf's sister asked me to take pics of her kids. I did it. Now her friend wants me to take pics of her kids.

 

So if there's something you've been interested in learning or doing, NOW is the time! Go on link removed and look for groups in your area. If you know you can improve certain parts of your life, see if there is a support group or twelve step group for it and go to meetings. I found a meeting that helps me tremendously for something I've been through in my life.