My ex boyfriend wont get back with me, i don't know what to do ?

[Joanna93]

Hey, my ex boyfriend and I broke up after a year. We met in quite a romantic situation however we had a long distance relationship due to studies but we both made time to visit each other. Eventually when I finished exams I moved over to his home country, the apartment was quite small and finding work was difficult for both of us. In the beginning of the relationship he was extremely jealous and possessive but he loved me and treated me well. However after we moved in together things became very different, I was quite emotional and I felt isolated because I didn't speak the language, it felt like he was no longer there he became increasingly colder. The arguments got worse and I became more clingy, it seemed as though he didn't know where he was going with his life he dropped out of University, weeks later he planned to move to my home country he got a good job there as a translator and arranged accommodation. Within a few days he declined the job offer and decided to do an apprenticeship, everything was turned upside down again. He loved climbing which was a passion of his and I did too but he would often get angry at me because I wasn't as serious as he was. Eventually the rages were to much to handle he ended it and I walked away, of course I continued to try get him back. He said that we can remain friends but he never contacts me, I don't know what to do i'm broken after my experience with him, I sacrificed so much for him I wish he would realize that but deep down I feel as though he never will. I don't know if I should leave it for a number of months without contact or to block him out of my life all together. I still love him very much

[freewill1234]

Leave him alone. The more you contact him, the more you will push him away. Sounds like he has a few things to sort out with his life and he doesn't need someone trying to push him in another direction. Give him time and let him contact you if he wants too. This is your only chance at reconciliation or getting over him.

[t1lersm0m1]

You have to move on, and go no contact. It helps.

[Edmund Exley]

You seem to be stuck in the pattern of abuse where when the abuser isn't around, or is being nice, you feel so much love for them.

 

You don't want this guy back. Consider yourself lucky and keep moving forward.

[JGintheOC]

but he doesn't want to be with you.

 

It was too much of a difficult situation. Sometimes things just don't work out which is a sign its not supposed to continue.

[Joanna93]

Text speak ?

[dasnico]

"He doesn't want to be with you" is a very harsh, very black and white statement.

 

He might just need space. It sounds like he's got a lot on his plate. Give it some time. If you don't hear from him after a significant amount of time has passed then reach out to him. NC for now though. If you two stand a chance at reconciling you need to start moving on so the potential of a second chance gets a fresh start.

[JGintheOC]

that's just his forum signature LOL

[t1lersm0m1]

huh? What does that mean?

 

Text speak ?

[t1lersm0m1]

Oh lol, I had no idea what she as referring to.

 

that's just his forum signature LOL

[JGintheOC]

Oh lol, I had no idea what she as referring to.

 

LMAOOOOOO It's a first for me.

[Edmund Exley]

Sorry if that's confusing. Its bothersome to many people when posters are looking for advice and their story is "Hey watup. Can u plz hlp me"

[panther]

Joanna, your story is a bit confusing. You moved to his country and then he moved to your country? Where are you now and where is he now?

 

Yes, as others have said, you can't do anything if someone doesn't want to be with you. You should stop contacting him and make your best effort to move on. You didn't seem like a good match (possessiveness and jealousy) and there is too much stress in both of your lives right now.

[t1lersm0m1]

BAAAADDDDDD idea. That's called putting your life on hold for someone, only to find out you waited for nothing.

 

No one should wait for someone. He didn't ask her to wait. He broke up with her. He's a grown man, if he needed space, he could have asked for it.

 

This wasn't even a good/healthy relationship, so telling her to wait for him is absurd.

 

"He doesn't want to be with you" is a very harsh, very black and white statement.

 

He might just need space. It sounds like he's got a lot on his plate. Give it some time. If you don't hear from him after a significant amount of time has passed then reach out to him. NC for now though. If you two stand a chance at reconciling you need to start moving on so the potential of a second chance gets a fresh start.