She's dating someone, yet she acts like she has a schoolgirl crush on me

[cdb1204]

I'll start out this thread by being as concise as possible about the background:

 

We met online. We went on a date. I liked her (I'll call her Susan) and tried to set up Date#2. She seemed on the fence, so I didn't press the issue. I let it go and didn't call her again.

 

A couple of months later she contacted me. I presumed she was interested in another date. I presumed wrong. She just wanted to say hi — and made it clear she was already dating someone else.

 

A few weeks later Susan tried to set me up with one of her friends — but that friend turned out to be a woman I had already gone on a date with a year ago and wasn't too crazy about.

 

Susan has made it clear that she wants to hang out and be friends. In response to a Facebook post I wrote about how unhappy I am with how theatrical churches have become, she invited me to attend her church this past weekend. She asked me to pick her up, which I did. After that, we went out to eat.

 

Here's where it gets interesting.

 

It's possible I'm totally misunderstanding the situation, but she behaved the entire time as someone who had a schoolgirl crush on me. She looked at me a lot for no particular reason and smiled and had a nervous laugh. She touched me a lot, especially my shoulder.....and the way she did it felt pretty damn good!

 

I dropped her off at her place when it was done. She she looked me eye-to-eye and touched my shoulder in a very affectionate way yet again. If this were the end of a date I would have gone in for a kiss........but seeing as how she told me she was seeing someone else (at least she said that a month ago) and she hasn't told me any different, I'm just assuming she and I are hanging out as friends.

 

I don't know what to think here.

 

I think if a third party watched the way she was with me that person would be screaming that she likes me and I need to make a move.

 

If Susan wants me to make a move then she would have told me she's available again, right?

 

Is she just playing games with me?

 

Am I reading too much into her actions?

 

Or is there something else going on here that I'm not even considering?

[notalady]

I wasn't there to witness her actions so it would be hard to say if she was in fact interested. Let's say she is, it is possible that the person she's seeing isn't working out, maybe not fully ended yet but she's wanting to explore other options (aka you), given it had been a couple of months, I'd say that is very possible.

 

The other possibility is that she just wanted an ego boost, but I would have thought it's weird for her to contact you for this reason since you could have moved on or just not all that into her anyway.

 

I don't have more advice other than you'll just have to sit back and observe.

[MikNomis]

I thought she's seeing someone, what's up with that? Sounds shady to me.

[stuka80]

She's playing you man, how can you not see it? You have two choices, make a move on her, use her back like she's using you. Just dont get your feelings into it. If she rejects you then you have your answer and you didn't waste too much time, OR you can walk away from her games, i'd personally do the latter.

[cdb1204]

Well, as it happens I got an email yesterday informing me that someone on OKCupid looked at my profile and gave me very high marks.

 

I checked it out to see who it was....and it was her.

 

We met on Match originally.

 

If she's dating someone else then why is she active on this site?

 

If she's done dating the other guy and likes me then why hasn't she said anything?

 

For the time being, and until she says differently, I'm just going to operate under the assumption she's still seeing the guy.

 

But it's still weird to me!

[MikNomis]

It could be because she's a shady girl.

[LC8328]

I agree that she probably wants to keep you around to play with your emotions and have you as a backup.

 

She is not being forthright with you about her situation or her feelings about you. You deserve better.