When No Contact (NC) Goes Wrong. Lessons.

[Never]

Yeah I think you're right unfortunately. Do you think it's dead forever? I just wanted to try and get some communication in the hope we could take things slow again. When we spoke face to face she was very close to agreeing to this and that's why I think I have found it so tough to admit it's over. I think asking how her bday was is ok though?

 

I am not saying she is a bad person for doing this but she knows she can have you back. You won't realise how eager you will be coming off to her, but you are. There will be no urgency for her to be with you.

 

She might already know she will never take you back.. she may be in two minds. No-one knows but her. All i know is you sticking around in her life in any capacity and playing Mr nice ex is not going to help you.

 

I have been on both sides and trust me, you need to stop chasing her. Focus on your life and take the focus off her. You need to stop thinking of ways to get her back. This is not up to you. She's broken up with YOU. Stop trying to control this.

 

I've walked away from an ex i had been previously chasing fiercely. I was tired of the rejection i knew i had to heal. I went completely ghost. Within a few months he realised that i was no longer hanging on for him and he started to realise he wanted me in his life. He tried to get me back but it was too late. I had healed and moved on. This only happen because i moved on (with my life) and became attractive to him again.

 

 

Years ago, i was serious about a guy (i STUPIDLY broke up with him because the timing was really bad), after the break up he was sad but then after a while he started to live his life and wasn't available to me anymore. i cannot tell you the regret i had, i really got a taste of life without him and wanted him back sooooo bad. Any contact from him gave me butterflies and i couldn't believe i let him go.

 

I've also gone No Contact with an ex and never heard from that ex again...

 

Now, don't get me wrong. This relationship may be over. But if its over, its over...there is nothing you can do. But what you CAN do is get your life back and change your focus. No contact REALLY is about healing. I personally think its a win/win situation. No contact will help you heal and move on (Win) and giving the ex space and a chance to experience life without you can sometimes (rarely) result in a change of heart from them (Win). But if they don't come back, it doesn't matter because you are already on the road to recovery and you will be happy to meet someone new. WIN WIN WIIIIN!

 

The best advice i can give to you is to actually move on. Don't just stop contacting her and pretend. This very rarely works. Actually grow from this experience and heal. Its the only way.

 

Good Luck.

[sunnydo]

i too hv tried the NC rule..

if the person is really interested in u or feel for u it works

& for flirts it does not work they start move on with new people

these people don't like emotional clinging

[Ms Darcy]

I am truly gutted this morning have been crying my eyes our

 

Bottom line. If you are this desperate to get back together, it's plain old bad advice to you to keep in touch with her.

[Shane Falco]

Thanks Shane. I don't know I guess I need to forget her. Would you give up any hope now? I had a month of mixed messages before the no contact and since the break up kinda came from nowhere I was hoping she would 'realise' arrogant as that sounds that all I have ever done is try to support her. She is going through a tough time herself so just wanted to keep making her happy and supporting her

 

Yes, it's time to give up hope on resuming the old relationship. But that's a good thing -- why would you want to go back to a relationship that didn't work? And stop with the "support" -- if she wanted your support, she wouldn't have broken up with you. She doesn't get to have your support while not dating you. I mean, it sucks, but you have to let go. She knows you want her -- there's nothing more you should say or do on that front. It's up to her, but you can't wait around. You have to recover and heal.

[Shane Falco]

Its so tough isn't it do you think it's dead ? Jacqui made me the happiest I've ever been and that's why I am struggling to let go. I haven't tried to manipulate her as such just wanted to bring some positive thoughts to her mind

 

That is the definition of manipulation. You are trying to trigger something so she changes her mind about you. That is a textbook case of trying to manipulate her. The cologne and the inside joke came off as a ploy to her.

[EJA32]

Thanks everyone. She did come back with the following. What do I do? Seems my iPhone is messing up

 

Haha u made the right choice. Couldn't agree more- hate buying cards!! Birthday was really good thanks.. spent the day with my friends at the beach and the evening with my family. How you been? X

[Brotherhood67]

Nothing.

 

You block her everywhere and that's it.

 

Just ask yourself this question : would you try to interpret this if you sent a card to à friend for his/her birthday ? No. It's the same here.

 

Stop hurting yourself.