Jump to content

How long do you wait for sex?

Recommended Posts

I had an interesting conversation the other day about when people think it's appropriate to have sex for the first time with a new bf/gf.

So I just thought it would be interesting to ask a bunch of people how long they usually wait before having sex in a new relationship.

I personally believe it depends on the people and how comfortable they are with each other. But that's not what I'm asking.

How long do you usually wait in general?

Link to comment
I personally believe it depends on the people and how comfortable they are with each other

You're completely right on that one!


As for how long it takes in general, from what I gather from personal experience, friends, and members who I have spoken to from eNotalone, waiting time is usually a few weeks, although I've heard of it happening much sooner and much later as well.

Link to comment

For me it can really vary as it does depend on the fireworks, where the relationship is going....sometimes I know early on if it is going to be something great and we feel comfortable with each other so have sex sooner.


With my current beau (and hopefully last!) we actually slept together on the first date...it just felt right, and has felt right every day since, I have absolutely no regrets about it as this is something great. We will be moving in together in a month too..again, early on but it feels right and we are ready.

Link to comment

One more thing I forgot to add...


Concerning your question "How long do you wait for sex,?" I would have to say that if you really care about a person you will wait for them until they're ready. As long as there is some physical interaction, there is no need for intercouse until both partners are comfortable.

Link to comment

I cant really say there is a standad that i operate by when i choose to have sex with a female, when it gets to that point thats when it happens. However i do have a timelimit, i refuse to wait longer than 2 months. If somebody has to wait that long then there are going to be some problems that I dont want to deal with.

Link to comment

I guess im very different from a lot of people.Personally i would wait 1 year at least and see if we are comfortable with each other.I think sex is a special thing that should be waited for.I dont treat it like something regular that u do right away but thats just my opinion.I believe u wait for these things till u really know u truly love someone which takes at least a year i think.My ideas are the same as my friends and we agree on both of our ideas.We think that it should be waited on until marriage too most of the time.But we agree that we would wait a whole year to be comfortable and truly know if u love someone to even start thinking about sex.

Link to comment

I'll back Shinobie up on this one, even though were probably going to be the only two guys who think this way. Sex is something that you should wait for. I get discouraged when I see shows or hear people talking about how they are sleeping with someone they barely know or have barely started dating. It's like it isn't a matter of if a couple will have sex, its a matter of when. A relationship shouldn't have to include sex to be special. I think you should wait until marriage, at that point you'll know you really love each other and want to spend your lives together. Call me old fashioned, but that's how I feel.

Link to comment

well, everyone is different. some people click much faster than other people. it depends on the personalities of the two involved. personally, with my current boyfriend i knew him for a week before we had our first date and we ended up sleeping together on the first date. there was just this chemistry between us that we couldnt ignore. everyone moves at a different pace, sexually. sometimes, some really strong long-lasting relationships begin from couples who didnt wait to have sex. and vice versa...

Link to comment

That's true. When I met my first bf, I waited for a year. I was raised christian and with the idea that premarital sex was forbidden. I am no christian myself and after a year I was ready to follow my own path.


My second bf was very short-lasting. We wanted to wait but he stopped caring for me so soon that I am very very happy that I we never slept together.


My third bf lasted 4 months and we slept together the second night, it was on holiday and we have had a long distance relationship which turned out to be too difficult. We were both really in love though and said goodbye in peace with the knowledge that we love each other.


Now I have met another guy. It's soon but I have already known him for months before we started 'dating'. Last week we spent the night for the first time, but didn't sleep together. The attraction is really strong but now that I have experienced an LDR I am very relaxed with the idea that I can take the time now. I don't think I will wait long, but I am really happy with all the cuddling now... *sigh*


Each person is different and even for each person, relationships are different.


Sex is special, that's true. But everyone fills in this special-ness differently. Personally I don't like the idea of one-night-stands for example but I have friends who are not interested in relationships and occasionally have them. I guess there are no rules except from everyone being responsible for their health: always have safe sex!



Link to comment

Well I've only had one boyfriend so far. We really clicked and he wanted to have sex after only about a month of dating. But I wasn't on the pill & told him I wanted to wait. He moved to another country soon after though for school & we ended up doing long-distance. It didn't work out & so I'm still a virgin. But I'm happy with that, and our relationship made me ask this question as well..I don't have any rules about this, as long as I connect well with someone & we're both very comfortable with each other it's cool. That would probably be after a few weeks/a month of dating, although if we're really passionaet about each other I could see myself having sex on the first date as long as we've known each other for a long time. I find it sorta hard to trust people so I couldn't just jump into it or have a one-night stand.


I think people's opinions also might change with experience. In high school I was always of the opinion that I would wait until marriage or after almost a year of dating, I don't know why..I'm not really religious, I think just to make sure the trust is there & that's what I thought was morally right. But now my thoughts have changed..so we'll see. It might change for the future. I know I definitely don't want to just giev my virginity away instantly, I want it to be a special moment, but at the same time I'm not putting any time limit. When it feels right, it will happen.

Link to comment

yea although long distance relationships do work, i love in nottingham and my bf lives in london (united kingdom) but we see each other at least once a week and im staying at his for the weekend... we chat for at least an hour a day, and we send each other loads text messages... but were in love so its all good

Link to comment

Like some others have said, I think it's important to wait until both people are ready, which will differ between couples.


My current b/f and I had sex before we were actually even officially dating , but I don't have any regrets about that (and we had been friends for about 3 years prior to that).

Link to comment
  • 3 weeks later...

As I'm sure everyone else has said, it just depends on the couple. There are no set rules for relationships, so the answer will vary. In my first sexual relationship, we waited three months. In my second/current relationship... Well you can look at it two ways. We met online and had been a coupele for five months before we had sex. BUT that was also the first day that we had been together in person. So... *shrug* Like I said, it varies from couple to couple.

Link to comment

Truly varies. I don't wait as long now as I did when I was younger.


My current boyfriend and I met online, talked for a week or so, and ended up sleeping together our first date...but hey, it felt right and has felt right ever since. We are moving in together next week and I am soooo excited (as is he!)l


If you are mature adults, and it feels right...I think you just know when it's time.

Link to comment

yea, pretty much what a lot have already said. it depends on your chemistry with that person. with one person, i waited 2 years! with another i waited 4 months and with my current boyfriend, we had sex on the first date! but that just goes to prove that there is no set time to do the deed...

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Create New...