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what do you make of this?

Cherry009

By Cherry009
in Dating Advice

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Cherry009 Contributor

Cherry009

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I have recently been on about 7 or 8 dates with a guy over the last 6 weeks or so, quite casual and easy going. Well a few times he has told me he likes me, and has said that he feels like it is easy with me and he feels relaxed in my company. We both initiate dates and both initiate texting/phone calls. Anyway randomly the other day he asked if I was bored of him, I told him that I wasn't bored and asked if he was around in the week to meet up, which he said he was, then we carried on texting here and there over the weekend, I had a busy weekend and he made a joke about how I had no time for him this weekend. On Saturday I was a little bit tipsy and text him a nice message saying that I liked him.

 

Well we were in contact normally until Sunday, he never replied to one of my messages and I haven't heard anything since, I know that this is it basically over, which I am fine with as I think I just want to be single at the moment but I just find it weird how one minute he is asking if I am bored of him and sending nice messages about liking me etc and then just disappears! Do you think he sent those messages for an ego boost before he decided to start ignoring me ? Strange.

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Cherry009 Contributor

Cherry009

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He text me not long after I posted this message saying 'whats happening' ? I don't get.

 

He doesn't act needy really, in fact he can sometimes act distant. He is shy and its quite new to me to meet a shy guy, you never quite know what they are thinking/ how they feel.

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SoulTaker Collaborator

SoulTaker

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He text me not long after I posted this message saying 'whats happening' ? I don't get.

 

He doesn't act needy really, in fact he can sometimes act distant. He is shy and its quite new to me to meet a shy guy, you never quite know what they are thinking/ how they feel.

 

Here are some things to ponder. You've been on 8 dates with him. You must have discussed goals with him. Do either of you want to become exclusive, or do the two of you only want to keep things casual, which means that anything goes, including fading in and out? Problems occur when one person isn't getting their needs fulfilled, or things aren't progressing to the next level (i.e not turning romantic). He might not be the type of person to be direct and forthcoming.

 

When he asked if you were bored, you should have resolved it there, and not give a simple reply. He needed to state exactly why he made the statement. It's probably something that's been on his mind for a while. He could also be gaming in trying to gauge your interest level.... Nobody knows what's going on in his head better than you. Don't let shyness be an excuse.

 

How, or if you pursue this matter depends on how much interest you have in him. If there's little interest, then move on and date other men.

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Ms Darcy Mentor

Ms Darcy

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can still be single & casually date, i was just wondering what people thought of his actions, your comment wasn't really helpful on that matter, thanks though.

 

I mean it. Seriously ... if you think it's over and you aren't invested, I wouldn't even think about it. It's not even worth it.

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Natasha24 Collaborator

Natasha24

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Since he asked if you were bored of him, I'm guessing you weren't initiating texts/phone calls/dates as much as you think. You said he told you that he liked you, but you didn't return that compliment until a little while later. It probably seemed like you were uninterested, and you put the last nail in the coffin when you made a joke about having "no time for him this weekend". I know you meant it as a joke, but if a guy said that to me, I would probably jump ship as well.

 

You said you want to be single and date casually, which is fine - but does he know this? Usually a guy who texts these kinds of questions isn't looking for casual dates. I think he is looking for a relationship and he got the feeling that you're not looking for the same thing. I find it's best to be upfront about what you want before you even go on the first date, then no one's feelings end up getting hurt.

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LoveSoDeep Experienced

LoveSoDeep

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If you text him as much as he texts you and he's already asking for validation....it sounds to me like he has some insecurities.

 

He was fishing for you to reassure him. To me after 7-8 dates that's not what I want to hear and he's already complaining when you have busy weekend and you aren't even dating exclusively....if you want this to be casual I would have my doubts that he could actually handle that.

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Cherry009 Contributor

Cherry009

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Thank you for your reply, i just need to correct a few things.....

 

I did tell him back that i liked him after he said it to me, after he said he feels easy around me he said he doesn't like feeling pressured (i assumed that in his past he has felt pressure from other girls and so was saying that he likes it as it is- easy going)

 

It was him making the joke about me being too busy all weekend for him, i didn't make the joke, infact i asked him if he was free that friday but he was out with his friends after work.

 

We are meeting up this week so i will see how things go/feel.

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Cherry009 Contributor

Cherry009

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Hey Cherry! Not entirely sure what advice to give here - but just wanted to say I hope that the next date goes well.

 

Thanks! We are meeting up this week, not sure exactly where this will all go but just enjoying having some casual dates at the moment, i feel a bit burnt out from dating at the moment so don't like to get my hopes up, especially with my track record haha, thanks

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