DoAVillianEasy Posted June 7, 2014 Share Posted June 7, 2014 So I'm back on here again obsessing over messages sent to me from my ex. So its been 2 mouths since any contact between us, by contact i mean her calling me immature, childish, sad and pathetic. The reason for this i have no idea, i can give you an example. After over a month of NC she messages me asking "how do i delete you from Google+" to which i responded "i don't know ask Google" she replied with "well that's really mature" and so on. She broke it off with me, i accepted it (as hard as it was) and tried to just move on, no begging, no phoning her up, no drunk texts....none of it. She got in contact with me just to have a moan or rub it in my face as to, how she did this for me and she didn't want to cheat on me (aka i left you for more ) or start an argument about something i had said about her post break up. Which is funny when i think back to how she said she still cared for me and how much of an amazing guy i was, funny how all that stopped when i said i didn't want to get back together and how she probably did the right thing. Why would she even bother as she was he one that decided to break it off. After 4 years together, i would have assumed she would of just understood that i was hurt but respected her wishes, emotional or not i was still hurt and confused. Even after i asked her to delete my number, which from the reply i would have assumed she would have. I still received outlandish messages a month after accusing me of a prank and then calling me sad and pathetic as well as childish again. Whilst in the same conversation saying she couldn't be near me in a club as she saw me and due to hurting me and feeling bad for me had to leave, !! how would she even know how i felt, i was drunk in the club and dancing like a lemon, i don't remember looking or feeling down!! Im basically wondering why the hell someone would feel the need to get back in contact with their ex, that they broke it off with, just to make them feel even lower then they already did? Is she trying to take some pride for hurting me or is the fact Ive shown no signs of pain and that she wants to feel some sort of validation? Link to comment
t1lersm0m1 Posted June 7, 2014 Share Posted June 7, 2014 Who cares why? Block her, delete her, get rid of her. Back to strict no contact. That means you prevent her from contacting you as well. Link to comment
DoAVillianEasy Posted June 7, 2014 Author Share Posted June 7, 2014 Obviously I care, that's the whole reason I wrote the thing. It's easy just to say forget it your not in my position. I don't believe there is anything wrong about trying to figure something out. It's not always the answer to just go NC and jam your into someone else. It doesn't work for everyone Link to comment
t1lersm0m1 Posted June 7, 2014 Share Posted June 7, 2014 If you want to heal them yes it works. If you want to keep obsessing as you've said then have at it. Yes, I know how you feel. You think you have the market cornered on heartache? You're the only one who's had a broken heart? No contact works for everyone. It will help you stop "obsessing"...your word, not mine. Link to comment
DoAVillianEasy Posted June 7, 2014 Author Share Posted June 7, 2014 If you want to heal them yes it works. If you want to keep obsessing as you've said then have at it. Yes, I know how you feel. You think you have the market cornered on heartache? You're the only one who's had a broken heart? No contact works for everyone. It will help you stop "obsessing"...your word, not mine. "You think you have the market cornered on heartache? You're the only one who's had a broken heart?" - no of course not, i never said i dis. Im not looking for a "my story is greater than yours" that's not my interest. I am not disputing the idea that no contact doesn't work. I am just interested why someone was acting in the manner they chose, its the way my mind works i cant help it. Does this make anymore sense? Explanations can work just as well im sure. Link to comment
ParisPaulette Posted June 7, 2014 Share Posted June 7, 2014 or is the fact Ive shown no signs of pain and that she wants to feel some sort of validation? Probably it's a combination of this plus she feels guilty for cheating, but rather than admit to her own faults she has decided she must make you the "bad guy" in order for her to be justified in the things she did. And now it irks the living daylights out of her that you are moving on. What you need to do is stop responding to her altogether and every time she contacts you block and delete it. If you see her in public ignore her, continue to have fun like you did that night in the club. The fact is many times cheaters try to make themselves feel better about what they did by painting the other person as the bad guy, it's immaturity at its finest. So of course she's projecting all of the things she's doing on to you. Ignore it, ignore her, keep healing. Block her at every turn from contacting you and move on. She also frankly sounds more than a bit mental and attention hungry to keep having a go at you. So stop giving her any attention whatsoever. You'll have to think of her as that really annoying scammy telemarketer that keeps trying to get into your checkbook. No way you're going to talk to her, have any contact or do anything but just add each new number, email or text or whatever to a block and delete list. In fact don't bother reading any texts or other things she sends you even if she gets through, just delete delete delete. You'll get over it and be glad you dodged that bullet. Link to comment
amipushy Posted June 7, 2014 Share Posted June 7, 2014 Could be many things but I'm inclinded to think she feels a sense of entitlement- she feels entitled to slag you off and say whatever she likes because she was with you for so long and you will put up with it like you always have. Either that or its a nasty little habit that she wants to stop but cant- a bit like you obsessing over her words. Its an unpleasant habit but she will stop when she has met someone new and her 'need' to talk to you ceases as the new bf fills her thoughts, or because you stop her. Link to comment
DoAVillianEasy Posted June 7, 2014 Author Share Posted June 7, 2014 Thanks for that it was fun to read and you might be on to something. Just one thing as far as I'm aware she didn't cheat on me but it wouldn't surprise me Link to comment
DoAVillianEasy Posted June 7, 2014 Author Share Posted June 7, 2014 Could be many things but I'm inclinded to think she feels a sense of entitlement- she feels entitled to slag you off and say whatever she likes because she was with you for so long and you will put up with it like you always have. Either that or its a nasty little habit that she wants to stop but cant- a bit like you obsessing over her words. Its an unpleasant habit but she will stop when she has met someone new and her 'need' to talk to you ceases as the new bf fills her thoughts, or because you stop her. I never used to take her s*** but I understand your statement about entitlement that does sound like her. As for her finding someone new and moving on with him in his thoughts I imagine that to be true as well Link to comment
amipushy Posted June 7, 2014 Share Posted June 7, 2014 If you didnt take her 's***' then why are you taking it now? Link to comment
DoAVillianEasy Posted June 7, 2014 Author Share Posted June 7, 2014 If you didnt take her 's***' then why are you taking it now? I'd say I'm trying to take the high road by not getting angry and just going off on one. Doesn't seem to have much effect!! Link to comment
ParisPaulette Posted June 8, 2014 Share Posted June 8, 2014 how she did this for me and she didn't want to cheat on me (aka i left you for more ) Oh, I mistook that comment of hers to mean she had cheated on you and left you for someone else. Thanks for clarifying, but what an odd statement for someone to make to their SO they're breaking up with. Unless she thought someone else was on the horizon at the time? Maybe things didn't go so good there and now she's bitter and upset. Regardless just block and delete and ignore her. Stay NC and you'll be fine. Link to comment
DoAVillianEasy Posted June 8, 2014 Author Share Posted June 8, 2014 Oh, I mistook that comment of hers to mean she had cheated on you and left you for someone else. Thanks for clarifying, but what an odd statement for someone to make to their SO they're breaking up with. Unless she thought someone else was on the horizon at the time? Maybe things didn't go so good there and now she's bitter and upset. Regardless just block and delete and ignore her. Stay NC and you'll be fine. She was/ is always a dramatic one, trying to make issues where there were none. Telling me things just to get a reaction out of me, constantly on my back telling me how I should behave in a relationship, telling me I never make life easy for myself (aka I should just do what she says) showing explains of how others in relationships acted and how "it would be nice if you could do that". Massive double standards, very jealous when I spoke to other women. Always wanting my attention and even messaged me saying how I needed someone that wasn't going to change me. One of my friends told me this even before the break up "she wants you to worship the ground she walks on"....I never did, why should I. She is a complex but amazingly stupid person. Link to comment
sharky988 Posted June 8, 2014 Share Posted June 8, 2014 She was/ is always a dramatic one, trying to make issues where there were none. Telling me things just to get a reaction out of me, constantly on my back telling me how I should behave in a relationship, telling me I never make life easy for myself (aka I should just do what she says) showing explains of how others in relationships acted and how "it would be nice if you could do that". Massive double standards, very jealous when I spoke to other women. Always wanting my attention and even messaged me saying how I needed someone that wasn't going to change me. One of my friends told me this even before the break up "she wants you to worship the ground she walks on"....I never did, why should I. She is a complex but amazingly stupid person. You've described yourself as a bad boyfriend and said the relationship was *more physical than emotional* for you.... I honestly don't think you should be throwing stones at your ex right now. I suspect she had reasons to feel insecure in the relationship. Link to comment
DoAVillianEasy Posted June 8, 2014 Author Share Posted June 8, 2014 You've described yourself as a bad boyfriend and said the relationship was *more physical than emotional* for you.... I honestly don't think you should be throwing stones at your ex right now. I suspect she had reasons to feel insecure in the relationship. I never said i was a bad boyfriend what i actually said was "i can freely admit i wasn't the best boyfriend" which i wasn't, because im not perfect and neither was she. Get your facts straight! Its funny to me how you "suspect" she had reasons to feel insecure! on what basis is this set on, please let me know? As for throwing stones at her, Im venting frustration and annoyance which i am free allowed to do as this is an internet forum where i can anomalously fulfill my emotional requirements without having to do it directly to my ex. Link to comment
amipushy Posted June 8, 2014 Share Posted June 8, 2014 Well seeing that your taking the high road isnt working and its obvious that its not going to stop until she gets some reaction out of you, I suggest you 'react' by take things out of her hands and block and delete her. This action will tell her everything she needs to know without you even saying a word. Change your number if you have to but you must end things before they turn very sour indeed. Link to comment
DoAVillianEasy Posted June 8, 2014 Author Share Posted June 8, 2014 Well seeing that your taking the high road isnt working and its obvious that its not going to stop until she gets some reaction out of you, I suggest you 'react' by take things out of her hands and block and delete her. This action will tell her everything she needs to know without you even saying a word. Change your number if you have to but you must end things before they turn very sour indeed. Has anyone else experienced anything like this? Link to comment
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