having regrets

[CovertCactus]

So almost 4 months ago me and my ex broke up. She immediately moved in with this loser who lives with his parents. Anyways over a month ago I wrote her a long email explaining my feelings about a lot of stuff and she apologized for it. We texted a bit after that and she told me she never got married (she told me at first she did) and that she was moving to Florida at the end of the year with her bf and his parents. I could tell she didn't sound too happy about moving there and she is only going there because she doesn't have any other options and I think she realizes or is slowly realizing her bf is a loser (who could have guessed that) with no plans to move out of his parent's house in the foreseeable future. She is an illegal (I refuse to say undocumented worker, stop being with the politically correct nonsense) and her work permit expires in 2 months. I loved this woman so much that I would have married her to help her get her citizenship but she still chose the bum over me. Anyways I had a feeling she was being all nice and friendly because she was going to try to come back to me. I told her in the email that I refuse to be anyone's plan B boyfriend and that I deserved much better than that. I'm going to stick to what I said. When she dumped me and after I begged for her to come back she said would come back if her relationship with her new bf failed. At first it gave me hope but after a while I got my head on straight and I realized I deserved better than that.

 

So a week later (3 weeks ago) I told her that I hated her and that her boyfriend is a loser and that I'm going to laugh when her permit expires and that she made a huge mistake leaving me. She got really mad and said she never wanted to talk to me (again) and her boyfriend said he wanted to fight me. I don't appreciate low life scum running their mouth's to me so I told him if I see him I will kill and yes I plan to commit to what I said. I told her that I hate her because I know I can't ever trust her again and that taking her back after what she did would be wrong. I don't trust myself completely to say no to her if she comes back so I wanted to make sure I wouldn't have the chance to yes. Logically speaking, I know this was the right decision for me and that hurting her like that was a necessary evil. Emotionally speaking, I still desire a chance to fix what went wrong and be back with the woman I loved so much even thought I know it would be wrong to let her back in my life. I don't hate her and lately I have been having a lot of good thoughts about her. I've been imagining us being married and having kids. This is confusing me because I have been talking to woman that I really like and want to have a relationship with and I've been questioning whether or not I made the right choice to burn the bridge completely.

 

I feel so conflicted and I wish it would stop. One on hand I want to apologize and leave the door open for reconciliation and on the other hand I want to leave her in the past and let her suffer the consequences of her decision. I also want to get in to a relationship with this other woman but my head is not completely in the game so it wouldn't be fair to her.

[t1lersm0m1]

You need to get yourself under control before you consider getting involved with anyone else. I understand feeling like you hate someone in the initial throws of a break up but you shouldn't be telling women you hate them and will kill their boyfriend if you ever see them. That's not healthy. And your hatred is long after the break up. I don't hate any of my exes, not even my ex husband who did the most damage.

 

I'd take a look at what is causing you so much anger and hostility.

[CovertCactus]

You need to get yourself under control before you consider getting involved with anyone else. I understand feeling like you hate someone in the initial throws of a break up but you shouldn't be telling women you hate them and will kill their boyfriend if you ever see them. That's not healthy. And your hatred is long after the break up. I don't hate any of my exes, not even my ex husband who did the most damage.

 

I'd take a look at what is causing you so much anger and hostility.

 

I don't hate her. I told her that because I didn't want her come back to me. I'm not sure if I could say no to her if she asked for me back so I wanted to make sure she would never come back. Her boyfriend hopefully learned a valuable life lesson: don't pick fights. He threatened me and put himself on my radar so he will face the consequences of that decision if I ever do see him. Honestly it's his fault. This was between me and my ex but he wanted to get involved and make threats. Stupid decision on his part and if he's unlucky it will get him killed. I don't back down and I don't run from anyone. If he tries to fight me I'm going to kill him. There are no two way about this.

[t1lersm0m1]

You do realize now that you've put this on a message board for the world to see that I'd something happens to him it's premeditated right?

 

You have anger issues, do the world a favor and get help.

 

It is his business since its HIS girl, not YOUR girl.

[3Tears]

I don't hate her. I told her that because I didn't want her come back to me. I'm not sure if I could say no to her if she asked for me back so I wanted to make sure she would never come back. Her boyfriend hopefully learned a valuable life lesson: don't pick fights. He threatened me and put himself on my radar so he will face the consequences of that decision if I ever do see him. Honestly it's his fault. This was between me and my ex but he wanted to get involved and make threats. Stupid decision on his part and if he's unlucky it will get him killed. I don't back down and I don't run from anyone. If he tries to fight me I'm going to kill him. There are no two way about this.

 

Yeah, I'm nobody to judge, but this whole "killing" cus I wanna prove that I'm the alpha male is retarded as hell. Your jealousy and hurt pride because she chose him over you is doing all this talking right now, take a chill pill, killing someone over a girl will end your life and its not worth it. Trust me.

[HeartGoesOn]

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