first time on my own

[t1lersm0m1]

Hi ENA. Thank you so much for the support you have provided. You guys truly rock.

 

For those that have not read my previous posts, here's a brief run down on my story:

 

I was unhappily married. We have a great son. We separated in early 2009. I didn't make a significant income so moved in with my parents. I was SUPER insecure and tried dating but was terrible at it. I dated a bunch of jerks, losers and manipulators.

 

In 2012 I met a great guy, Bill, who treated me the way a woman deserves to be treated. My dad had died in November 2011 from kidney cancer. My mom is mentally ill and I was/am her emotional punching bag.

 

While I was dating Bill we had a bad fight where she called me terrible names I would rather not repeat and tried physically attacking me. She just went absolutely crazy. I stayed with Bill two nights then stayed with my friends Deb for a week and a half.

 

During that time I pushed Bill away out of fear and insecurity. I then begged for him to come back.

 

I moved back in with my mom and my break up with Bill lasted.

 

I spent the next several months reading self help books and in therapy. I grew a lot emotionally at that time.

 

February 2013 I met Erik. Our relationship wasn't healthy but I had fallen in love with him. My mom, anytime we'd have arguments, would bring up me living with her. I kinda pushed Erik to break up with me in September because he was extremely insecure and still in love with his wife. None the less I couldn't go no contact for a while because I loved him and thought I wanted to be with him.

 

October I met Rich, who is black. I was hesitant about dating him because off my mother but decided to go forward. In December, shortly before Christmas my mother attacked me again, spit in my face and called me disgusting names. I spent the weekend at Richs and then stayed with my friend Kathy. I stupidly came back to my mom's shortly before new years. I guess it takes me a while to learn the hard lessons in life.

 

April we had another fight, although it didn't get physical. Rich broke up with me. I stayed at a hotel a few nights then came home to my mom's.

 

I found a half a double block and had my heart set on it. It was outdated, had oil heat and was on a busy street. But it was only $585 a month and in my son's school district. After two weeks off trying to get a hold of the landlord we finally connected and he told me the rent was $625.

 

I went on Craigslist that night and found a single family home in a nice neighborhood and an apt in a different nice neighborhood. I saw the apartment on Thursday and signed the lease yesterday!

 

It's $790 a month but includes heat and water. It's the first floor apartment and has a large living room, decent size kitchen and two large bedrooms. Also a decent size bathroom. And it's modern and beautiful!

 

This is a new x chapter in my life. I've never been on my own. I went from my parents home to living with my ex husband, back to my parents home.

 

I live Rich but we aren't sexually compatible. Everything was pretty much perfect OUTSIDE the bedroom. We had our first disagreement when he broke up with me in April. Never had a fight or disagreement before that. I'm not sure what I'll do about rich. I'm going to stay single for now and continue learning about myself and growing. I may put my profile back on the dating site in July.

 

I'm very excited about the direction my life is going in!

[HeartGoesOn]

After all you've been through, it looks like a step in the right direction. Wishing you and your son all the best.

 

Take care...

[safenow]

That's inspiring. Well done for pulling yourself out of a mess and creating a better life for you and your son.

[t1lersm0m1]

Thank you!