Horrible night

[oitnb]

So I had a get together at my house tonight.

 

It was small, like 9 people all together.

 

The girl "Beth" from my other thread was there.

 

Anyways, we were all drinking. At this point every one is decently buzzed, but not completely drunk, except my boyfriend who was verrrrrry drunk lol. But my friend Tyler, who knew I had never fought anyone or knew how to defend myself, asks me if I wanna learn a few moves. Okay cool. He shows me a few things and we shadow box for awhile, (shadow box as in NOT HITTING EACH OTHER WHATSOEVER and just making fake punches and blocks into the air ect) and I joke around and say "omg I'm an expert fighter now who wants to take me!?" And Beth walks up and is laughing and like "okay let's go let's shadow box" and we do for a few seconds and then she full on b**** slaps me so hard accross the face I see stars and tear up.

 

I have a HIGH pain tolerance. I've had many piercings and tattoos. It takes a lot for me to tear up from pain. She goes to hug me I think and says "omg I'm so sorry" but I push her away by her face and say "get away from me". I go to the bathroom where her boyfriend is and tell him "you and Beth need to leave now and tell your girlfriend she's lucky I'm drunk". They leave.

 

My boyfriend, who hadn't really seen the whole thing, just made it worse. The whole typical drunk guy trying to solve issues but making them more dramatic thing. Tonight has been HORRIBLE. It was supposed to be a fun little gathering but it turned into nothing but drama.

 

If I wasn't decently tipsy I would've fought that girl then and there. But the fact that I was tipsy and never have had to fight anyone made me second guess myself and walk away from her instead of fighting back. Now she is texting me saying these three things as her excuses - "I thought you would've dodged it" "I play fight rough" "it was an accident" yeah right!!

 

And while my super drunk boyfriend was trying to calm me down, he grabbed my arms. Which really made me freak out because that's what my abusive ex used to do. Granted, there two totally different situations, but yeah. It made me very upset. Tomorrow when he's sobered up I'm going to explain to him why that is NOT okay with me, I don't care how angry or upset I am.

 

Tonight has been a horrible night in general. This post is mostly a vent. But yeah. UGH!!

[CeeLambrini]

I read your thread and this girl has some kind of vendetta against you, clearly. She is 'clever' in the way that she will be able to do things toward you, and get away with it because she has herself a pile of excuses for anyone that questions her actions. Even in the last thread when she called you a "piggie", if confronted she would probably be ready with "oh, but I was only joking!".

 

But because you have never confronted her or called her out before, she seems to have assumed her attempts at getting to you have had no effect so it looks like she has pushed and pushed to the point of physically slapping you in order to get a reaction. And finally, she did. However, her excuses now just seem terrible. Whether they have substance or not, "I thought you would've dodged" is a terrible excuse and it gives the person who has been attacked some kind of blame as though you weren't quick enough to avoid it. She shouldn't have been in a position of 'thinking' you were about to dodge in the first place, as you were shadow boxing, she should have been no where near your face.

 

I hope your boyfriend gets filled in on all the details when he wakes up, and I hope he no longer continues to be 'neutral' in this sort of thing. This girl has slapped you in front of your friends, and has a sorry excuses for it. You needed his support when it happened, not things to get worse, but hopefully today his tune will change and when you are around, will start seeing his friend without Beth in the picture. I would ignore her messages as well, she had her excuses lined up the moment she heard you say "now who wants to take me?". Whatever she has against you, who cares? The silver lining is, you have a more than acceptable reason to keep that girl out of your life, with terrible excuses for it where people will see right through her.

[oitnb]

Yeah I don't know what her issue is but she clearly has some sort of problem with me.

 

Im sure my boyfriend will fully understand when he's sobered up. Not that he didn't when he was drunk, he just didn't want me to be angry and wanted me to "calm" down which is clearly not going to happen right away after someone slaps you in the face.

[ParisPaulette]

Oh Bah, that's horrible. I agree with CeeLambrini, this girl has a vendetta against you and has now turned violent. No matter what anyone says you have to insist she never come back to your house and I would go so far as to urge that you point out to her that it isn't just the slap. That she's been verbally hostile to you and then took the opportunity to turn it physical. Sorry, she full-on hit you in the face and knew well what she was doing. BTW I took martial arts and I've done plenty of sparring including full-body contact. Slapping someone hard in the face isn't something you just do on accident or assume they're going to duck. She hit you hard enough for you to see stars, which means she knew exactly what she was doing.

 

Never tolerate physical violence from anyone. Never. Tell your boyfriend it's your house, your rules, she isn't coming back. End of story. And yes, tell him grabbing your arms is also not acceptable and why. Only a true idiot would think what she did is acceptable. Personally if that happened to any of my friends and I witnessed what had happened to you I would have jumped the girl. I have a bit of a temper when I see my friends being attacked or hurt and I have gotten into fights before over it, because I just have a zero tolerance for that crap. She's been verbally hostile and has now stepped it up to physical violence under the assumption you will just keep letting her bully you. My advice don't ever let a bully get away with it, because they will escalate.

 

Use this incident to boot her out of your life for good and anyone else who is stupid enough to take her side, because come on real friends will be able to see what's happening. There just is no excuse for what happened, none. Hugs and grab a bag of frozen peas and towel to put on it plus pop an Ibuprofen if you're able to take that type of painkiller. Both will help with any swelling although you'll probably have a bruise there.

[oitnb]

I would just like to add my friends didn't just stand there when it happened : Tyler stepped in the middle of us and a few others stood up and shouted "that's not cool" "w t f" ect.

 

My boyfriend even in his drunken state of mind agreed to her not being aloud here ever again. His only issue was I was still fuming after she left, but what else did he expect? I'm sure he'll understand it all in the morning.

 

Honestly if I wasn't so tipsy I would've punched that girl square in the face. I'm kindve regretting not doing that now but whatever. I guess I'm the bigger person for walking away? The fact that she has 5+ inches in height and 50+ lbs over me and a few fights under her belt while I'm 5'1 125 lbs soaking wet with no fights and drunk on top of it all made me second guess myself.

 

Whatever I guess. I'm gonna explain it all to my boyfriend tomorrow - the slapping situation, the him grabbing my arm thing ect.

[oitnb]

Beth and I's text conversation :

 

Me : you're not welcome here anymore.

 

Beth : bah I didn't mean to it was just an accident!

 

Me : it doesn't matter.

 

Beth : you're one of my best friends I would never do it on purpose please don't do this to me

 

(if I'm one of her best friends that's pretty pathetic cause we hangout once a month at the most)

 

Me : you don't accidentally slap someone square in the face. If I was sober it would've been a wrap then and there. (Aka I would've fought her - hood talk lol) the only reason I didn't defend myself is because I'm very drunk.

 

Beth : I wasn't fighting you

 

Me : again you don't slap someone so hard they see stars on accident. I tried being your friend even after hearing you were nothing but drama (other friends, including Tyler, warned me about her) but whatever.

 

Beth : I dont understand why you dont see it as a mistake. I honestly thought you were gonna dodge it I would necer do that to one of m y best friends

 

Didn't reply

 

Beth : You dont understand! Me and *her boyfriend* play rough and im fldrunk and played to rough! Im so sorry! I just want you to see my side

 

Didn't reply

 

Beth : Please call me

 

Didn't reply

 

Beth :

I love you bah and I would never hurt you on purpose ut if you dont want to be friends tomorrow when we are both sober then so be it. Goodnight and im sorry

 

Well friendship wise it looks like I dodged a bullet with her. The fact that she's saying she loves me and I'm on of her best friends when we aren't even close at all is just weird.

[1a1a]

Any person who hits you and then blames you for their actions is a good person to run the hell away from. I am glad you did not have presence of mind to fight back, it might have felt good at the time, but it would not have solved anything and she might have ended up with grounds to press for assault charges (which technically, you currently have, if you were feeling particularly vindictive you could try that route). She has shown her true colours and you get to ask for her to not be invited into your safe spaces anymore.

 

And if you see her out of that, be civil, and excuse yourself from her presence as soon as possible.

[ParisPaulette]

Yup, she's a manipulative little (expletive) and she's really showing it. It's not unusual for them to paint themselves as much more important to you and you important to them to try and make you doubt yourself and your own perceptions of what happened. She's the female version of the guy you're dating who you walk in on in bed with another girl. Then they bombard you for weeks or even months after begging for another chance, because they "love you so much."

 

Gag, delete and block her. If she keeps it up I would send one last text saying something like: 1) we see each other once a month, that's not besties sweetheart 2) you were already on my list of people to avoid after the whole name-calling thing went down, the slap just sealed it 3) I see right through you. Never.contact.me.again.

 

She sounds like a bully who thought, "Here's someone smaller than me and pretty, time to sharpen my claws." It's good you didn't fight her though, because sadly if police got involved it could've gotten really ugly and you would've been involved in that as well. Sending a scathing text and excluding her is so much better anyways. And may I compliment you on not losing it when she slapped you? Ugh, I've been punched and kicked and not been made half as mad as being slapped in the face. (I've been in a few brawls involving standing up for friends and such when we were all young and hotheaded. LOL)

 

P.S. She should count herself lucky you don't press charges on her if there's a bruise or two.

[lavenderdove]

>>Anyways, we were all drinking. At this point every one is decently buzzed,

 

I have to make a comment on this because you have another thread where you say you're thinking about becoming a substance abuse/drug/alcohol counselor.

 

You shouldn't consider that profession if you are still drinking to excess and surrounding yourself with people who drink/drug and erupt into this kind of scene. You're not getting what being sober is about. And this kind of scene is classic among people who are NOT sober, and the only way to prevent this kind of thing is to not drink/drug and do stupid things like start a play fight when people are drunk.

[oitnb]

>>Anyways, we were all drinking. At this point every one is decently buzzed,

 

I have to make a comment on this because you have another thread where you say you're thinking about becoming a substance abuse/drug/alcohol counselor.

 

You shouldn't consider that profession if you are still drinking to excess and surrounding yourself with people who drink/drug and erupt into this kind of scene. You're not getting what being sober is about. And this kind of scene is classic among people who are NOT sober, and the only way to prevent this kind of thing is to not drink/drug and do stupid things like start a play fight when people are drunk.

 

I don't think drinking occasionally is abusing alcohol. There were no drugs involved. But yes I agree this probably wouldn't have happened if alcohol wasn't in the picture.

[metrogirl]

People tend to do stupid things when they are drunk. I don't know why people can't just have a get together with one or two drinks and enjoy themselves. There is always someone that has to take things over the top.

[oitnb]

People tend to do stupid things when they are drunk. I don't know why people can't just have a get together with one or two drinks and enjoy themselves. There is always someone that has to take things over the top.

 

I have never had any drama or issues when drinking and relaxing with my friends. But I should've known better when Beth came. Oh well now I know what kind of a person she truly is!

[lavenderdove]

>>I don't think drinking occasionally is abusing alcohol. There were no drugs involved. But yes I agree this probably wouldn't have happened if alcohol wasn't in the picture.

 

If you are going to be a substance abuse counselor, then you need to be fully sober yourself. Period. Otherwise you may endanger your clients with this attitude that 'a little' is OK. They can't do a little, they can't do any, and it is well proven that moderation does not work for people who have issues with substances because it is a slippery slope. See how quickly your party spun out of control? The same happens to your client's lives if you have any tolerance for them using any addictive substances or for using them yourself. If you can't stay 100% sober and understand the value of that to your clients, then you need to choose another career to pursue.

[oitnb]

Lavenderlove, so you're telling me you believe every single substance abuse counseler in the world never haves some alcohol? They all refrain from it 100% simply because they deal with alcoholics? I'm sorry but that just sounds ABSURD to me. If I can responsibly drink, then I can responsibly drink sometimes. Period.

 

I was in the safety of my own home. I never drink and drive. I simply made an error in judgement and let someone (Beth) come to my house who I shouldn't have.

 

Let's just agree to disagree.

[oitnb]

And I understand if you're an alcoholic you can't ever drink once you become sober. I understand alcoholics can't drink in moderation. I'm not dumb.

[lavenderdove]

>>every single substance abuse counseler in the world never haves some alcohol?

 

You are not mature enough yet to be a substance abuse counselor if you are drinking and having play slap fights in your house while drinking. Sorry. I stand by that. Helping someone recover from substance abuse is serious, serious work that requires someone with maturity and perspective and a deep awareness that drinking and drugs for some people just destroys them and their lives and is not about 'fun' or 'moderation' for these people but about a desperate struggle to save their lives, health, and relationships.

 

I know you are saying this girl shouldn't have slapped you and that is agreed, but you shouldn't have even been having drunken slap play fights at your house with drinking involved if you are mature enough to be taking someone else's mental health into your hands. You'll understand that when you're older or more mature.