Highly Sensitive Person and sex issues

[Trammel]

It's always the same thing, after so many years. I am an HSP, I have always been an HSP, and she doesn't understand that. When I'm tired I cannot even think about sex, cannot even think about talking about sex. She takes this as me not wanting her, feels unattractive and unlovable and that I would be more into sex if I were with someone else. She doesn't understand that this is not true. She has a very healthy sex drive even though we have two kids and busy jobs and everything, there's nothing wrong with that, but it does not match with me.

Last week after I worked all weekend and then spent the day working from home while looking after our daughter who had the stomach flu, that night we were watching TV on the couch together, and all I wanted in the world was a hug or some cuddles, and she starts talking about what she wants to do to me sexually. I was soooo tired that even engaging in fun banter about sex seemed an insurmountable effort at that moment, and it showed on my face. So she was offended and hurt and felt like I think she's strange (I don't, I think she has a healthy sex drive) and I don't want her. And I was offended and hurt because I felt misunderstood.

I am so sad about this I don't know what to do. Maybe this post is confusing, but I'm at work and don't have time to write a detailed explanation.

[1a1a]

Open the relationship perhaps? I can relate to her and I would have stayed with my last forever if the needs he couldn't meet had been met elsewhere...

[Missdaisy88]

Maybe you need to please her in a non penetrative way, or show some kind of sexual interest in her, because i do know how she is feeling and it does have a huge devastating impact on her self esteem, because you are the only person in the world that matters in the sense of making her feel sexy and wanted, she relys upon you to feel more close to you and intimate, (cuddles, kissing and spoonings also intimacy) bt shes probly just wanting to keep that spark going and continue feeling that close connection with you on a more personal level. if you dont it will create harmful resentment towards you, it honestly hurts like hell and your left feeling rejected and hurt. I understand your tired and days are busy at work, but im just giving you a heads up, you need to make her feel special, bt all in all, she loves you for who you are, once she understands from your point of veiw thing will definitely get better

 

All the best and goodluck

[ManInLove]

Have you considered couples therapy?

[KelliBaker]

After reading your post, I think your wife is not deeply aware with you and you do not spend sufficient time with her in home. It is really important for you to spend time with your wife and try to express yourself to her, For any relationship it is most important thing to have mutual understanding. In your case there lack of mutual understanding between both of you,therefore your wife reacting like this.