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About Trammel

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  • Birthday 05/24/1972
  1. Here in Italy gas is 4 times what it costs in America and renting cars is pretty expensive.
  2. I just wanted to wish you the best too! I think it's really positive that you're doing a lot of walking and hiking, because of the benefits for your health but also it can be something that really helps with stress. And I love Cap too!
  3. I know it can be really scary to have issues there. I am not a doctor, obviously, and it might be an infection. I had a problem with a lot of itching and it turned out to be a reaction to different fabrics of underwear - my gynecologist told me to wear mostly white cotton underwear, and use special soaps to clean that area. It could also be a bladder infection, which is really annoying but goes away with antibiotics.
  4. Thank you everyone who answered me. I am feeling better today. I actually haven't been to therapy for a few years now, but I wanted to start going again. I do have a thing that my last therapist taught me, to imagine a "safe place" and when I'm freaked out, think about going there. That tends to help. I have kind of a mantra, I printed out that quote from Labyrinth - "You have no power over me."
  5. So, my mother was emotionally, psychologically and physically abusive and I broke off all contact with her 20 years ago. She died last year and since then all I've felt is relief. Saturday I watched the movie Split with my boyfriend. It had a character with multiple personalities and flashbacks to the abuse by his mother. The actress playing his mother even looked like mine! So I'm still thinking about it and could use some suggestions to stop the bad memories that this brought up. I've had a lot of therapy and I manage my anxiety with medication, so I am doing good generally. I just didn't
  6. I think you know what you should do, though I know it is hard. You should definitely leave this guy. It's good that you can recognize that his treatment of you is abusive and that you deserve better. I promise you it is possible to find a guy you are just as attracted to who will not abuse you. One of my exes was really emotionally abusive, and it took me a while but I did leave him. It is the best thing for you. Do you live with him or do you have your own place? I engage in S&M with my current boyfriend, but outside of sex he is very kind and nurturing to me. I never thought that was
  7. I overthink everything (anxiety disorder...) I am focusing on my current relationship. I just wanted to understand this difference, because I tend to always think that I am the one that is at fault/wrong.
  8. This is about my ex. First of all, to be clear, I am not still in love with her or anything, I would just like opinions on her behavior because I'm starting to think it was not ok. I'm bi and I was in a long-term relationship with a woman that ended more than 3 years ago. Now I have a boyfriend who I've been with for a couple of years and it's going really well. We have a really good sex life, and I noticed that he basically checks with me every time if I want to have sex - sometimes with a running joke - "oh, so, do we have to have sex?" (in a joking tone). It makes me laugh but it's a nice
  9. He wants monogamy. You do not. Don't make relationship decision based on "ifs" - base them on the present situation. You would still like to have sex with others. He is very clearly not okay with this but hoping you will change your mind. There's nothing wrong with wanting an open/poly relationship, but both parties have to want the same thing, otherwise you both get hurt. I had a situation in the past with a partner that wanted a poly relationship, and over time it really hurt me. I want monogamy (and there's nothing wrong if that's not what you want) and now I am in a monogamous relati
  10. I think your boyfriend is absolutely being unreasonably jealous. Especially if he's trying to blame you for other guys hitting on you. That has nothing to do with your actions. I wanted give you the benefit of my experience with the sex problems. I wouldn't judge either one of you but I will say that you are incompatible in that area. Me and my ex had those problems and it was one of the things that broke us up. It is really something that weighs on the relationship in the long-term. Not just the sex, but the kissing-cuddling. If you're missing that from the beginning of the relationship, t
  11. I know it is very hard to break up with someone you love, but I can tell you that this is one of the problems that broke me and my long-term girlfriend up. It didn't get better over the years, it just got worse. It seems like it shouldn't be so important, but it really really is. Because if she's like me she'll feel guilty and you'll continue to feel rejected and hurt.
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