First Meet Response....

[Crusader9]

...so I met this girl for coffee last night after about a week of chatting online, etc. Just wanted a quick meet to see if there was a "real connection".... Had a good time, fun, easy-going conversation, no awkward moments, and I felt that I wanted to see her again.

 

It was her first online experience, and first time meeting someone, so I tried to make her feel comfortable and not too pressured or anything, so didn't ask her out at the end. I said I had a good time and enjoyed meeting her, and she said the same.

 

I followed up today with a quick text saying it was fun and nice to meet her. She responded with the same and we chatted exchanged some fun emails. I finally asked her out again and she say "maybe"..."see how work goes and my courses over the next couple of weeks...maybe coffee again"....Her work is not variable (pure 8-4...never a minute early or late...and classes haven't even started yet)....

 

I'm pretty sure that is just another polite way to say "no thank you". If you wanted to see someone again, you'd make the time. Am I reading this right? At this point, I just said "ok" to her answer and left it at that.

 

Thanks for any feedback!

[missmarple]

If her work is 8-4 and classes haven't started yet and she added 'next couple of weeks' in there, yes, I think you're reading it right.

[Crusader9]

Thanks. That it what I figured.

[Batya33]

Yes, I think her interest is lukewarm at best and I wouldn't bother.

[RedDress]

If you are looking for a relationship, I wouldn't put my energies into her. It doesn't sound like she is looking for the same (at least with you).

 

There's slow... and then there's a 2nd coffee date several weeks away slow... Snails move at a faster pace. (lol)

[ArchToronto]

Ya go with your instincts, she's probably not interested. If someone's into you they will make time. Just leave her be for now. If she initiates later on then go from there if you are still interested/available.

By the way did he asked her out the second time over text or phone?

[Crusader9]

Update: So it is now Monday (went out Saturday....chatted Sunday, when the "maybe coffee in the next couple of weeks" statement)....and she texts me...we have been chatting every day since exchanging numbers basically, and we are going back & forth and just having fun again...a little flirting, but nothing crazy.

 

I still think my first assumption is right...she's only kinda interested...."keeping her options open" I think. I don't mind chatting and having fun...not sure how much interest I have in pursuing without a similar level of interest...I'll see if she pushes/asks for getting together (the next day or so at the latest) and we'll see.

 

Thoughts?

[Ms Darcy]

I'm surprised you are still talking to someone that's not all that interested in you. Seems like a time waster.

[Crusader9]

Very good point. I am not 100% sure of her interest level...just assuming. I don't mind chatting a bit and staying in touch....worse case, met a new friend and don't mind that either. If I am reading her wrong, and we go out again (all if....I won't go out again if nothing materializes in the net day or so), then maybe things change. Not investing more time than I think is reasonable.

[reader]

Yeah sounds odd that she suggested coffee a second time.

[reader]

Update: So it is now Monday (went out Saturday....chatted Sunday, when the "maybe coffee in the next couple of weeks" statement)....and she texts me...we have been chatting every day since exchanging numbers basically, and we are going back & forth and just having fun again...a little flirting, but nothing crazy.

 

I still think my first assumption is right...she's only kinda interested...."keeping her options open" I think. I don't mind chatting and having fun...not sure how much interest I have in pursuing without a similar level of interest...I'll see if she pushes/asks for getting together (the next day or so at the latest) and we'll see.

 

Thoughts?

 

 

What is it that makes you think she is only kind of interested?

[Crusader9]

Well, who suggests coffee a second time? Coffee was just to meet the first time...I would never have a real "first date" to be just coffee....would want to do something a little more fun, interesting, etc...nothing too crazy, but a little more normal.

[reader]

Well, who suggests coffee a second time? Coffee was just to meet the first time...I would never have a real "first date" to be just coffee....would want to do something a little more fun, interesting, etc...nothing too crazy, but a little more normal.

 

I agree, coffee is for the first meet and greet. Not when you see each other again

[Crusader9]

Yeah I know...really odd. I'm just not sure if it's the whole "new to online" thing, or what. I'll let it play it for a bit, see what happens...but I'm not going to spend a bunch of time & effort til I figure it out.