Sticky Situation with my ex...

[whitwhit]

Its been a while since I broke up with my ex. We were together for two years, towards the end- he became verbally abusive to me, so I ended it. I also lost my job in the city shortly before this... We had a dog together, we adopted her from the city pound, we used my name is adopt her- so technically she is registered to my name. But he has been caring for her for over a year at this point.

 

Basically when we broke up, I had no job, no money.... I needed to moved back in with my Mom for a few months. I couldn't take the dog because she is a pit bull mix and they are illegal where my mom lives. He agreed to take her, and bullied/ guilted me into agreeing to help pay for her expenses (through heavy manipulation). I tried to find work in my hometown, but ended up getting a better offer abroad, so shortly after- I moved to Japan.

 

A few months after I left, someone visiting my ex's apt accidentally let her out of the house and she went running into the courtyard. There was a 20 pound schnauzer in the yard who has always been very aggressive towards other dogs when he is walked. Once free of any leash, our dog goes past this dog on the sidewalk and is attacked brutally. Being that our dog outweighs this dog by at least 25 pounds- our dog easily puts the schnauzer in check... according to the witnesses, she did not start the fight.

 

Our dog was injured more than the smaller dog but because our dog is a pit bull, he got this huge fine, which he insists I must help him pay. About $1,370. He was also bitten by the smaller dog, and had to have surgery to reconnect a part of his finger back to the digit.

 

He says because the dog is in my name, he can implicate that I am the one responsible for any fines or penalties associated with this... unless I agree to pay him money for her care and for this legal mess he's found himself in.

 

I mean I feel bad that this has happened to him and that our dog had to go through so much- but in all honesty- I had nothing to do with this.

 

I am abroad, and have had no part in any of this, can he legally rope me into this somehow, as he claims he can?

 

Every time I talk to him, I feel so toxic afterwards. I miss the dog, but I really want no part of him. If I cut off all contact, is there a chance he could get the law to charge me with something?

[mhowe]

You are the dog's owner....legally responsible.

Whether you are abroad, on the moon or now the street matters not.

[oitnb]

Are pit bull mixes illegal in japan? Would you have the time to care for the dog and could afford the travel expenses? If yes, why not offer to take it off his hands since he has so much trouble with it?

[ParisPaulette]

Well, at this stage of the game I think it's time you seek a lawyer. You weren't there, the dog has been with your ex for months now and you are in another country working. How exactly are you legally responsible? You need to find out if you are at all or not per the laws in the location or state where the dog is at. At this point and time whoever left the door open and your ex who were both with the dog are both also legally responsible for sure. But if you want to be free of this matter then arrange for someone to pick the dog up and take it to a rescue shelter to be re-homed if you can't take it, because frankly it should have had enough training not to have done what it did if it were being properly cared for in the first place.

 

Your ex is using the dog to keep control of you and you are letting him. End that control by contacting a lawyer and finding out what you are and are not legally responsible. I would also say look into suing your ex for irresponsibility. And for heavens sake, you take responsibility for the dog and you go get it or you arrange someone to pick it up and get it away from your ex. Because what are you going to do if the dog gets out again and hurts someone or worse? Just keep letting your ex and anyone else blackmail you over their own actions. And letting the poor dog be a victim of poor care?

 

I say grow a spine, if the dog is legally yours you need to find out what the liability issues are, if there are any, and you need to get the dog to another location where you either take back ownership or relinquish ownership completely. And the dog can go to a good home where it won't be neglected, because yes I fully consider allowing a dog that's not trained and that is a fighting breed to be potential disaster waiting to happen. Pit bulls are sweet dogs yes, but they are bred to fight and to be able to inflict some serious damage and they need care and supervision. People get upset about pit bulls, not necessarily because they're meaner or more likely to attack, just that when they do they inflict far more damage than say a poodle does. (The little ones anyways, the full grown ones can hold their own.) Crying about how someone else's dog is at fault won't cut it when your dog outweighs theirs and frankly has been bred to be much stronger and more able to fight. I own a pit bull by the way, so I'm not anti-pittie. I am anti-owners who don't train and keep care of their dogs.

 

Also if he's got a pit-bull in an apartment that's just cruel to the dog anyways. You need to take control of this situation or you're going to be forever facing problems and worse, what are you going to do if the ex deliberately lets your dog attack others just to get back at you? The guy is already a control freak and abusive, so why did you even think leaving the dog with him was a good idea in the first place? Be a responsible dog owner and whether or not you have to end up paying for what the dog did you get the dog out of there now and get it someplace where someone capable can give it a good home and the training it needs. And space, lots and lots of space too. Big dogs do not do well in apartments, they just don't.