Little Poll & Questions on Moving In Together

[RayKay]

Due to some recent happenings (as in last night) this has brought up some questions in my mind, I won't tell much of my story right now as I don't want to hear too many opinions on it...I already know what I am going to do! I'll tell it later in this thread, but despite that, I am still curious as to others experiences, so please answer if you are able to!

 

1) What is the earliest in the dating period that you moved in together?

 

2) How old were the two of you and how much relationship experience did you have before this?

 

3) Who was the one that initiated that conversation?

 

4) Why did you make that choice to move in?

 

5) What were your experiences in terms of adjustments, having your own space and independence (especially if you have been living on your own a while!)

 

6) Are you happy or unhappy with your decision...and whatever you answer, why?

[XxxMUAHxxX]

I can't fully relate, but I can sure try...

 

1) What is the earliest in the dating period that you moved in together? 2 months

 

2) How old were the two of you and how much relationship experience did you have before this? I'm 15, he's 19...I didnt have as much as he did, but we both had our fair share.

 

3) Who was the one that initiated that conversation? He was.

 

4) Why did you make that choice to move in? I wasnt getting along with my parents, and he worked late. He needed someone to take care of the house, and I wanted to spend more time with him.

 

5) What were your experiences in terms of adjustments, having your own space and independence (especially if you have been living on your own a while!) Ahh...that was bad, I hate sharing...

 

6) Are you happy or unhappy with your decision...and whatever you answer, why? It was overall ok, who knows, maybe it'll happen again in the future, I'd def. do it again.

_________________

[d346]

1) What is the earliest in the dating period that you moved in together?

1 year. We were dating long distance... about 90 miles apart and only saw one another on weekends.

 

2) How old were the two of you and how much relationship experience did you have before this?

We were 25

 

3) Who was the one that initiated that conversation?

We really didn't talk about it thoroughly. I ended up moving to his city, and he offered his apartment while I looked for a place (and a job!) Once I found my job, we confided in each other (when drunk, mind you) that we were enjoying it, and didn't want to move apart

 

4) Why did you make that choice to move in?

Again, logistics. we were having a great time

 

5) What were your experiences in terms of adjustments, having your own space and independence (especially if you have been living on your own a while!)

It wasn't too hard, although my bf is high maintenance at times, so he would get on my case if I was vegging a lot, or falling asleep on the couch. I kind of felt like I had to be "on" all the time. But again, that's because of his personality, he's very high maintenance. He is not comfortable with co-existing with one another and not interacting. (especially since we went from action-packed, whirlwind weekends where we spent all our free time together, going from one activity to the next)

 

6) Are you happy or unhappy with your decision...and whatever you answer, why?

well, in retrospect, unhappy. we didn't think it through. Don't get me wrong, I loved living with him, but he wasn't ready to get married, and we never talked about that when we moved in. And it got to be problematic after 1.5 years of living together. at the end of our lease we got our own places. It was hard, and tense, but I really couldn't live together anymore if he didn't feel the need to propose. And he was too stressed about me wanting the next step and didn't think he was ready for it all...that we moved in too soon. It was all very stupid if you ask me, but although we got along fantastically, our perspectives on timeslines and future was off. (ps, we're still together, and beginning to plan our future, but in a normal, even-keeled pace. ) At least now I know though that I CAN live with him, but our timing and goals have to be in check first.

[RayKay]

Thanks d346...I was kind of wondering if you would post about this as I remember you moving out. I do think shared goals is important, and why I think usually if you are moving in together while in some ways it is to "see" how well you live together and can function together in the day to day, you also need to have some shared idea of where you want to go (i.e. in terms of marriage). Of course, a lot depends too on maturity and past experiences.

 

Thanks your post gave some helpful insight!

[Day_Walker]

Instead of answering the questions im just going to give some insight one what i believe about moving in together. I cant say that there is a definate time that i think is appropriate to move in with a person because i dont want to pigeon hole myself to waiting that long. Moving in together should be a decision made not out of convience or anyother reason but the level of commitment you have eachother. This means that when the relationship has reached a point where both parties feel that the relationship is going to end up in marriage or a life partner thats when moving in together should happen. All of the other reasons that I have seen seem to be more out of convience than a level of commitment. People seem to do this all the time but I would only move in with a female if that level of commitment was there otherwise I dont see the point.

[VictorWard]

I've already posted about my own experiences with this is one of my threads, but maybe someone out there can learn from my mistake:

 

1) What is the earliest in the dating period that you moved in together?

2 years.

 

2) How old were the two of you and how much relationship experience did you have before this?

Me: 22. As for relationship experience, I had previously had one girlfriend and it lasted 9 months.

Her: 19. Her relationship experience was a couple of very short relationships that didn't go anywhere.

 

3) Who was the one that initiated that conversation?

She did.

 

4) Why did you make that choice to move in?

I let her manipulate me.

 

5) What were your experiences in terms of adjustments, having your own space and independence (especially if you have been living on your own a while!)

This was the first time I moving out of my parent's house, so I expected more freedom and more fun. I actually had more freedom when I lived in my parent's house. I don't seem to have any free time anymore. She doesn't like me not spending time without her. In her opinion, every moment possible, we should be spending together.

 

6) Are you happy or unhappy with your decision...and whatever you answer, why?

I am unhappy with my decision. I allowed it to be rushed, and now I'm paying for that mistake. What I'm going to do when the lease is up, I don't know. Either way, I've learned many life lessons since moving in with my girlfriend.

[CarterJonas]

1) What is the earliest in the dating period that you moved in together? around 1 year

 

2) How old were the two of you and how much relationship experience did you have before this? around 23 both of us

 

3) Who was the one that initiated that conversation? mutual

 

4) Why did you make that choice to move in? just wanting our own space

 

5) What were your experiences in terms of adjustments, having your own space and independence (especially if you have been living on your own a while!) pretty difficult in respect of keeping my own space, doing my own things..etc

 

6) Are you happy or unhappy with your decision...and whatever you answer, why? yes, made us, especially her realise we were not meant for each other

[OceanEyes]

1) What is the earliest in the dating period that you moved in together?

 

After about 3-4 months I suppose.

 

2) How old were the two of you and how much relationship experience did you have before this?

 

I was 21, he was 27. I had quite a bit of relationship experience before that (had been in a relationship of over 3 years prior). He had barely any. I think his longest relationship was about 2 months, the rest were basically flings.

 

3) Who was the one that initiated that conversation?

 

He did.

 

4) Why did you make that choice to move in?

 

I thought it was a good idea at the time, and to be honest, it was kind of forced. I wasn't from the same city as he was, and my lease was ending in my apartment. I was going to go home for a while to my home town, but he wanted me to stay and keep going to school.

 

5) What were your experiences in terms of adjustments, having your own space and independence (especially if you have been living on your own a while!)

 

I actually loved living with him at first (isn't that how it usually goes?). It wasn't much of an adjustment, I come from a large family (2 sisters/ 2 brothers), so I am used to sharing space and having to show respect for others I am living with.

 

Negatives: He was a slob and never helped me clean, cook, grocery shop, etc. He also hoarded old items that filled up the hallways and attracted bugs. When he would take holidays from work, he would usually just lay around on the couch and play video games for weeks at a time. This was something I wish I would have never known about him.

 

6) Are you happy or unhappy with your decision...and whatever you answer, why?

 

Well, obviously not, since we're not together anymore. I broke up with him last May and haven't regretted it since. I am very happy with my decision to get out of there; it was a miserable situation after 2 years of living with him. If I could go back and do things differently, I probably would have waited a much longer time to move in with him. I didn't really understand how nasty his habits would be to me, and how much they would turn me off.

[melrich]

1) Earliest - 1 month

2) Age, me 42, her 32 we had both been living with various others for 20 and 13 years respectively.

3) Who initiated? - mutual

4) why? - mainly due to circumstances. I had to move out of the place I was in, moved in with her for short term but turned into longer term.

5) Adjustments? - I was moving into a much smaller place and out of my normal area. Otherwise just the normal stuff...different habits etc. Independence is not really an issue as we both work and travel extensively.

6) Happy or unhappy? - Very happy. It has worked out perfectly for us altough we will be moving to a larger place soon.