Problemo

[routerx]

At this time, I'm going to school to obtain my Masters in Divinity from 8 am - 1:30 PM every day. Then I go to work from 3:00 - 11PM every day.

 

My wife has been chewing my head off for the past 2 months about things like... pull the shower curtain all the way back... and keep the toothpase in this drawer... I've always said, "Yes dear". Hey... I'm eager to please.

 

Today, I called to tell her I love her and that I did well on a test. She then told me how "discusting it was" that my razor was so dirty. That the hair needed to be cleaned out and she did it for me because it was so "gross".

 

I laid into her. I told her to look at the big picture (i.e. I'm busting my butt). She would not relent. She thinks I lack common sense. I argued my point that a man getting good grades in Seminary and who also makes over 80k a year working as an engineer probably doesn't lack common sense... if anything, he's focused on .. study and work!

 

She has done nothing to ease my load of work. She works 10-15 hours per week. She trains for a marathon in the spring and I'm like.. did she think she married a stock broker? What world do you live in where you don't work? I really want to read her the riot act!!!!!!!!!!

 

Am I wrong?!!

 

She moved to St. Louis with me and we've had some great moments and I know this is just the growing phase.. getting to know you phase of the relationship, but I'm not exactly sure how to wake her up to reality. Fact is, I should only be working 15-20 hours per week. I've had to work full-time because if I didn't, we would not be able to pay the bills!

 

Help? Advice.. gracias...

[Jimbo10]

All I am going to say is that whether your mom, or wife or whatever, there arn't many guys without a girl to chew us out for being messy and unorganized

[jbutterfly2020]

You should definitely let her know how you are feeling about all of this. If you don't talk to her about it then it will just eat at the relationship and cause it to fizzle.

 

She is just picking on the small things because she is bored and wants anything, even if it's an argument.

 

There is a middle ground in all of this and you just have to find it with her.

 

Good luck!

[Cecelius]

Some women have a sore spot for being relegated to doing "womens' work" -- if she has the general belief that you expect her to clean up after you, she'll get mad.

 

If you are pretty sure that you are adequately neat and that she's too senstive to messes, then I would explain that her attitude does not exactly inspire you to work as hard as you do for the greater good of the household, especially when she has a SIGNIFICANT amount of discretionary time.

 

This one strikes close to home for me. Personally, when one person is doing the vast (and I mean vast) amount of the money making and the other person has comparatively vast amounts of discretionary time, there is no room for whining about these things.

 

Be careful that your debate doesn't get into whether your school is more important than her marathon training. That's a loser.

 

Do you have kids?