dumper's experience...

[allsunny]

I left my ex, because it wasn't a healthy relationship... I can go into details, but that's not important.

 

Anyway, my ex texts me 5 days later after NC, basically saying that I taught me a lot. then he goes on to say he really did loved me and that I should leave knowing that he really did care about me. Then he get gets upset and tells me all women are the same. That I'm like his ex-wife who cheated on him. I never did btw. He's just angry, and I understand.

 

I know he's hurting, because I left and I'm hurting too. But I'm never going back to him, don't get me wrong. I just feel angry that I put myself through the relationship for so long. I'm angry that he can't admit and see how he has let me down. I have tried to leave before, and this time it's final. I'm so disgusted by what I experienced. I'm ashamed and embarrassed that I didn't stay true to what I really wanted. And I admit I was wrong for staying for so long. He didn't deserve to go through this. I don't deserve to go through this. No one deserves to go through this.

 

we need to move on. It hurts, but I need to move on too.

 

I don't even know what's the point of contacting me. Maybe he needed closure? And if he did, he deserved to have it.

[jenbrooks]

allsunny, We are literally on the same boat. I was the dumper, and it was final one day. I stayed for six months trying to fix something that could not be fixed. I witnessed him lying on the spot, it traumatized me, there was just no way for me to accept what he had done to me for six months. That night, I left, drove away, explicitly told him do not ever contact me again. Five days later, he texted me happy birthday, but what's the point.

 

I hurt him, he hurt me, his family helped him hurt me more. I tried, he couldn't do it because of his family's bond was too strong for him to stand up to me. He was hiding, lying, to prevent his family from causing disaster, and to keep me around at the same time because he didn't want to lose me.

 

Mine's been 1.5 month of NC.

 

I am hurt, very hurt. He told me he still loves me even though I wanted to leave. Again, what's the point...I am the dumper.

[ChilliRed2013]

To both of you.

If you truly tried, and communicated honestly and openly.. then I commend you. Still, as Dumpers, you have to accept that there will be some form of emotional feedback. Positive and negative.

 

"What's the point?" of them contacting you? The point is contact! Contact with someone you know very well. When someone like that dissapears out of your life, you lose something. A bond, whether it was healthy or unhealthy, is still a bonding.

 

Loss, when not attributed to death, is very hard to accept for some. Especially if they are mentally unprepared.

 

If you didn't communicate properly before the break-up... expect contact. Confusion, well wishes, ego boosting(for you), anger, spite, blame, declarations of love, acknowledgements of blame etc etc.

 

You moved on before they did.