Girls who have the same problem please reply

[Karidm8]

My boyfriend is looking at porn online. I have told him before that it makes me feel unwanted and not needed but i still find all sorts of different things on the computer when i'm at his college...we have had an long distance relationship for 9 months today...should i trust him while i'm at home not to not do things with other girls here?

[togetmetoyou]

Porn does not necessarily mean he wants to cheat or is not satisfied with the relationship. He should be worried about your feelings however if it makes you feel uncomfortable and he should respect that and communicate with you as to why he does that and reassure you of his feelings and fidelity. There can be much bigger problems in a relationship than just looking at porn. If everything else is okay, I'd say as long as you know about it and he acts right toward you, just let it go. If however, you find other signs like another girl's stuff in his place or things in his phone or his behavior gets weird, than the porn might be a red flag of one thing wrong of many with the relationship. Long distance rel. are very tough and they, more than any others, are based on trust and communication. If you both have those two elements, than you should be fine, and I wouldn't worry about the porn so much, unless it's causing severe problems for you guys and he doesn't care about that. Best of luck on working through it.

[ticklebug]

the problem here is two fold and is going to blow up on you at some point.

 

A) you have every right to your feelings, and if you don't like him looking at porn he should respect that....

 

but

 

B) you shouldn't be disrespecting his privacy and going through his computer either.

 

If neither of you can a) respect each othr and b) be honest...there isn't a future there.

[Virulent]

you can't stop a man from masterbating...just aint gonna happened especially in a long distance relationship....

[Yorkrose23]

A lot of women think that when their man looks at porn, it means he doesn't want her or find her sexy. Many times this is not the case.

It sounds to me like your bf just misses you, and that his outlet when you are not there is porn. While I can understand why this upsets you, keep in mind that he could just go out with another girl instead of looking at porn. I would talk to him about it. See what he says and ty to work it out.

Good luck.

[Mrs_Spoon]

I'm assuming that your boyfriend is around the same age that you are, but do correct me if I'm wrong! The porn thing is a phase, and it will pass given time...don't take it as a sign that you are inferior in anyway! I do feel sorry for you, you obviously care very much to make your long-distance relationship work - have you expressed how you feel to him about it? xxx

[Virulent]

\The porn thing is a phase, and it will pass given time..

lol what in 60 years when he needs viagra to do anything?

[OceanEyes]

I actually spoke to one of my male friends recently about this (men who are in relationships who still use porn). He is engaged to aan absolutely gorgeous woman, is totally in love and has been with her for almost 6 years. He told me that he still uses porn from time to time, and that it has absolutely nothing to do with her, or that she isn't attractive to him.

 

Basically I've gotten the same response from other men: your relationship and porn usually have nothing to do with the other.

[arwen]

Just to give you another perspective: a guy of your age is usually filled with lots of hormones. Him looking at porn might be a way to get rid of his hormones, while staying faithful to you. I know it can make you insecure. I don't think it has anything to do with you. Neither do I think it's a phase, lol, men will look at porn at any age but for different reasons. When they are old their wife is old too, when they end up single, they have no girl to look at, when their partner doesn't sleep with them enough. Plus most guys will deny looking at porn. I just don't want to know, unless it would have a significant effect on my relationship, I think.

 

Ilse.