togetmetoyou

I had a one-night stand with a guy (friend of a friend), but it turned immediately into much more than that for both of us since we have dated exclusively for the past month. I don't do one-night stands usually (he's only the second person I've slept with, I was with someone for six years before this) and he knows that I'm a serious relationship person. I spend the night at his house almost every night and he is very thoughtful and affectionate, almost acting like we are a couple, even in public. He has told me he likes me but that he doesn't want to get too serious because if he hurt me it would kill him and he can't do that. But then he treats me like a girlfriend and calls all the time and has to be right next to me when we're sleeping, very caring and sweet. My question is this... is he developing feelings for me and he is scared, or he just really doesn't do the relationship thing? I know he likes me as more than sex, but to what extent I don't know. Neither one of us is dating anyone else since we're always together. He hasn't had a girlfriend in three years, but he's hooked up with a lot of people. I'm sure this kind of thing happens a lot, but I'm curious if anyone, guys or girls know what is up with him telling me that? Should I just take it for what it is? I am having fun with him, but wonder where it's going, which I wish I didn't wonder. I really like him more than I expected to, and I think the same goes for him. Any insights? I don't want to get hurt by him either. Thanks!

Porn does not necessarily mean he wants to cheat or is not satisfied with the relationship. He should be worried about your feelings however if it makes you feel uncomfortable and he should respect that and communicate with you as to why he does that and reassure you of his feelings and fidelity. There can be much bigger problems in a relationship than just looking at porn. If everything else is okay, I'd say as long as you know about it and he acts right toward you, just let it go. If however, you find other signs like another girl's stuff in his place or things in his phone or his behavior gets weird, than the porn might be a red flag of one thing wrong of many with the relationship. Long distance rel. are very tough and they, more than any others, are based on trust and communication. If you both have those two elements, than you should be fine, and I wouldn't worry about the porn so much, unless it's causing severe problems for you guys and he doesn't care about that. Best of luck on working through it.

that we were engaged at one point and lived together at one time as well, him ending both arrangements. Also, just last week, we broke up on Tuesday, he said "I really do love you," and when he went away for Thanksgiving he said he missed me and loved me. A couple of months ago he said he always loved me and always will and he wanted to do anything to make this work. But in the last couple of months he got a new very stressful job that takes up most of his time and he stopped seeing me much and said he couldn't give me the attention I deserved and maybe in a couple of months when he gets his career going, he'll have more time to focus on me. He said if I loved him I'd understand that. He even took me to his work last week and he told me I was a big hit because guys there thought I was pretty. He told me he's more attracted to me than to any other girls, and he's always told me that, not just now. He said we were turning into sex buddies because of his schedule with work, and we wren't getting along.

More than anything, I just want him to want me back when I'm happy and dating someone and looking awesome so I can tell him "You lost me and you're a fool." That's my goal more than anything, and I'm wondering if I'll ever get that satisfaction of him wanting me down the road and me saying too bad after some time of no contact. He always contacts me somehow, although this time he may have given up for good when he told me to let it go. That's the only revenge I want for him, to want me after he threw me away so many times and never being able to have me again. Is that possible or it's too late and he'll not care? Thanks again.

My ex broke up with me a lot during our 7-year relationship, and each time it felt like he fell out of love with me a little more and it was harder to get him back. He was the one who came back every time by calling me or hanging out, or just friends, etc., but always ending up boyfriend and girlfriend again with I love yous and such, for anywhere from 2 months to 6 months of being together, and then break up with me again for about a month or so, but each time our relationship seemed less and less close. He didn't seem to allow himself to fully love me, and he got more and more selfish with himself, concentrating on money, cars, etc. He doesn't communicate well. This recent breakup, he seemed colder than ever and like he moved on a long time ago with all the off and on in our relationship. He seems happier to be rid of me. My question is will NC work even on him, after it has been proven to him over and over again that this is not working and I'll always take him back? He said I'm always there for him, and maybe if I walked away he'd realize he lost me, but he said I'm a revolving door for him and he knows he can take advantage of me and leave and come back all the time. He said I let him walk all over me. Or has he finally come to the point that he has decided he doesn't want me in his life and the NC will make it easier for him to forget me and move on. Maybe he'd even be happy that I'm gone so he can spend time on his busy career and not invest energy into a relationship with me that hasn't worked out in 7 years of trying (me more than him). He told me to let us go, does that mean he has let go and NC will only strengthen the way he feels? I have no idea if he's seeing anyone or had been cheating on me and what impact that will have on no contact. It just seems like this guy keeps doing the see-saw with me, like a game of I love you and want to make this work, but it's not working and it's over. I've had my heart broken by him so many times, but he just seems to get over it more and more every time. I'm so sad and I feel really rejected. I won't call him, but I'm curious if there's still a chance after all the failures. Is there a chance he'll wake up and realize he lost me, or there really wasn't anything there in the first place? Also, when I do talk to him, should I tell him I'm dating someone even if I'm not? Thanks! I'm confused beyond belief, but I do think he still loves me deep down. It's quite amazing that someone like him (very unstable) stuck with me for all this time to try and make it work. HELP!