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Have i destroyed the beat thing that ever happened to me?


imoanii

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My boyfriend and I have been together for one year and three months. We have been through our fair share of ups and downs and we've always come out stronger. Hes been so supportive of my severe anxiety and depression. I over think every single detail of our relationship and i constantly worry that were not right for each other and that were going to break up. He is the love of my life and i want to be wth him forever. But the other day we had an argument over something so stupid and i over reacted and walked out when i shouldnt have. When i left, in my head it was like we broke up but we didnt. It has been five days since it happened and ever since then i have felt weird. I love him so much but for some reason i cant feel it like i used to. I want things to go back to the way they were and i want to feel the same again. I feel like ive lost him and that i cant get it back. Im worried i have destroyed everything by being stupid and leaving when i shouldnt have. I regret it so much and have hated myself every day since. Please give me advice. I have no idea how to fix this or what to do. I desperately want to fix this. I do not want to leave him. I feel like i have let my anxiety and my head go too far and get in the way of how i really feel and i just want it to go back to normal. I am currently on anti depressants. Please help me

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Just in case you haven't "destroyed the best thing" yet, with that "attitude" you most definitely will destroy it in the future. Where is the concern that you two are not right for each other coming from? Why would you desire to be forever with somebody not right for you? Or is it that you are not right for him.

 

I destroyed best thing that happened to me with my doubts and questioning - over and over again. Not to mention that after him nobody was even remotely sportive, kind, caring... accepting. In my case that man raised the bar so high - i'm disillusioned that anything like that will ever come my way again. I was truley blessed. It takes a LOT of love will and energy to nurture depressed doubtful person. Just listening about doubts in a non judgmental way is well a lot to expect. I don't know if this is the case in your relationship, just that when i read it you reminded me of myself some years back. Either way, you'll have to sort those doubts out.

I don't understand if you two talked since you walked out on him or not. If you havent, don't sit around "feeling" that you've lost him, approach him and see for yourself.

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I over think every single detail of our relationship and i constantly worry that were not right for each other and that were going to break up.

 

It's most likely that the problem isn't walking away after the argument, the problem is likely this ^^^^.

 

Your thinking leads to behaviors and reactions that have likely exhausted this guy over time.

 

Are you working with a therapist, or are your meds prescribed by a regular MD?

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In order to "Fix This" you need to "Fix You." I think it is unfair for you to be in a relationship and not do everything you can to address your severe anxiety and depression issues instead of analyzing every aspect of your relationship. Work closely with a therapist to work on these issues.

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My suggestion is to communicate to your boyfriend your profound love for him and that you will do whatever it takes to make this relationship work. Time is running out. If you aren't careful you will lose him. If he's been here with you through this up to this point, he's likely to hold on a little longer if you could be just a bit stronger.

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