Day 15 of NC and Ex Just Texted Me

[ingenue]

I posted my 2 week mark of NC ( ) just yesterday, and today I got a text from the ex that reads: I hope you're doing well.

 

What. The. Frack.

 

I have added his number to my spam list, but I constantly check my phone to see if there are messages from him in my spam folder. Nothing for the past 14 days, and yet today … there's that message. It's no consolation for all the negativities I have felt when and since we last spoke. But it's a double edged sword. When I see/hear nothing from him, I feel like poo. When I do see/hear from him, I also feel like poo.

 

I can't help but wonder what he means. I know that sounds SO pathetic. Even as I'm typing that out, I can feel myself grow smaller with no self-confidence. Is he doing well in his new relationship such that he feels pity for me, and is reaching out to me as an attempt to coax his guilty conscience? Is he not doing so well with his new relationship that he needs to reach out to me?

 

Do I ignore him? Do I respond?

 

I never knew I could hate while, at the same time, love someone so much.

[ThatwasThen]

You still feel like Poo when you don't hear from him because you are still very much expecting and hoping to hear from him. That is no way to conduct a NC existence.

 

Ignore him. If he wants you back he knows how to get a hold of you in person. If nothing has changed from that which made you two break up then why go back to more of the same? The same outcome will just transpire and you'll go through the initial hurt all over again and be at square one to getting to the blissful state if indifference to him.

 

Consider NC a means of getting over him rather then a means to psyche him into contacting you or making him want you back.. No expectations but to help you heal. Then, when you don't hear from him, you'll not feel like Poo when you've accepted that you won't be hearing from him nor do you want to.

[jjkk]

My suggestion is to NOT respond because it will just fuel future contact which, in the long run, will make it harder for you. I understand the wanting to hear from him but honestly communicating with him could be a set back for you. I know it's difficult and tempting but really, don't respond.

[beachgal20]

I agree with everyone with not responding! I know its hard and it would be easy to just send a quick response…… but you could definitely be holding yourself back from healing faster. NC is the way to go. He broke it but that's not your fault, and you should feel accomplished having kept it up this long. Best wishes

[Zuri]

Ignore ignore ignore

[ParisPaulette]

Ignore him, unless it's a detailed message saying he's messed up and wants you back--or better yet a phone call or in person saying that--you can put all attempts to reach out to you as one of several things: guilt, trouble letting go, curiosity, trouble with new/current relationship, hope that he/she can experience having sex with two people instead of one, ego boost, just wanting to set you up for a fall 'cause they're flat-out mean.

 

NONE of these are good reasons to respond. Continue to ignore and keep to NC. I know you feel like crap right now, but it does get better. Much, much better and it really is the only way to become fully healed and get yourself back.