Redabc123 Posted January 13, 2014 Share Posted January 13, 2014 Need a little advice...again, Ok so I have been going out on dates with a guy that met recently ( 3weeks ago) He lives an hour and half away, he is a great guy I see alot of potiential to keep dating , he has come down twice to see me since we have been taking, invited me to come and see him this time to spend the day together fishing and showing me around town. Intinally I couldnt make this weekend because of work so we planned on me coming there the following Saturday, but I found out that I have Sunday free this weekend and mentioned that I could come then or wait, and he said he really wanted to see me and honestly I want to too to get to know him better. I mentioned this my friends and some are saying that its too soon that I should keep letting him come to me, I feel bad now because I already told him I would come. I dont see anything wrong with me going up there, but then I also dont want to come off like Im always avaliable. Im afraid if I cancel now he wont be as interested, we havent kissed yet so I dont know if we connect on that level yet. Im alittle confused so if you guys have any input or have been in this situation before the advice would be greatly appereciated Link to comment
missmarple Posted January 13, 2014 Share Posted January 13, 2014 I don't see any problem with you going to see him this time. After all, he's come to see you twice. It's not the first date. Link to comment
DancingFool Posted January 13, 2014 Share Posted January 13, 2014 Your friends are off base and it is time you reciprocated and drove out his way. Link to comment
JA0371 Posted January 13, 2014 Share Posted January 13, 2014 Yes...go see him. Just make sure it's an equal give and take. Link to comment
DonJuan Posted January 13, 2014 Share Posted January 13, 2014 Absolutely go see him if you want. My girlfriend and I live an hour apart and we pretty much take turns (as much as each of us reasonably can) to go to each other. Link to comment
ksmith4610 Posted January 13, 2014 Share Posted January 13, 2014 Yes go see him! He's already seen you twice. Seems like your gut told you to go but your friends made you second guess. Go with your gut, especially if you see potential in him Link to comment
Redabc123 Posted January 23, 2014 Author Share Posted January 23, 2014 Update: I went to see him this past weekend, everything went good besides watching football for 6 hours lol, We did have our first kiss at the end of the night and I did meet his friends and some of his family. So far this week everything has been ok, except that he is still on the site and sometimes he says he will call but doesnt, and then text the next morning like nothing. I know we arent offically dating yet but are these red flags? should I be concerned? I dont know if he dating or talking to anyone else, but I dont want to continue to drive to see him or invest time if this is a waste. Any thoughts would be great! Thanks guys Link to comment
missmarple Posted January 23, 2014 Share Posted January 23, 2014 he is still on the site and sometimes he says he will call but doesnt, and then text the next morning like nothing. I know we arent offically dating yet but are these red flags? should I be concerned? I wouldn't consider him being on the site a red flag since, apparently, so are you. BUT not calling and texting the next day and not offering any explanation as to why he didn't call? When you're still in the first stages of dating? Not only is that rude but it also shows lack of interest..especially if it's happened more than once (I wouldn't be ok even once, personally..sure, he might not have been able to call..but not even mentioning it the next day?) If he does it again, tell him that when he says he'll call, you expect him to call or apologise for not being able to. The way you allow someone to treat you when you're dating sets a precedent...and if he's that careless now, what does it say about the future? Link to comment
Redabc123 Posted January 23, 2014 Author Share Posted January 23, 2014 I wouldn't consider him being on the site a red flag since, apparently, so are you. BUT not calling and texting the next day and not offering any explanation as to why he didn't call? When you're still in the first stages of dating? Not only is that rude but it also shows lack of interest..especially if it's happened more than once (I wouldn't be ok even once, personally..sure, he might not have been able to call..but not even mentioning it the next day?) If he does it again, tell him that when he says he'll call, you expect him to call or apologise for not being able to. The way you allow someone to treat you when you're dating sets a precedent...and if he's that careless now, what does it say about the future? We havent offically said that were dating, I do think it very rude as well. Should I just take a step back and see how he responds to that? I very rarely initiate contact but I can already feel that if he continues to keep doing this its going to bother me Link to comment
missmarple Posted January 23, 2014 Share Posted January 23, 2014 If you rarely initiate contact, how will you take a step back? Link to comment
Redabc123 Posted January 23, 2014 Author Share Posted January 23, 2014 I have no clue haha, Im not sure how to preceed at this point Link to comment
missmarple Posted January 23, 2014 Share Posted January 23, 2014 I always say honesty is the best policy. So what if you're not officially dating? It doesn't mean he can just say he'll call and then forget about it. If I were you, I'd continue behaving the way you do and next time he says he'll call and doesn't and then doesn't offer any explanation, I'd tell him how rude I think that is. Link to comment
Redabc123 Posted January 23, 2014 Author Share Posted January 23, 2014 I always say honesty is the best policy. So what if you're not officially dating? It doesn't mean he can just say he'll call and then forget about it. If I were you, I'd continue behaving the way you do and next time he says he'll call and doesn't and then doesn't offer any explanation, I'd tell him how rude I think that is. Nope he has never mentioned us offically dating, or whether or not he is talking to other people, so I dont really know my place. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted January 24, 2014 Share Posted January 24, 2014 Reliability has nothing to do with whether you're officially dating or even dating. Link to comment
Redabc123 Posted January 24, 2014 Author Share Posted January 24, 2014 Reliability has nothing to do with whether you're officially dating or even dating. Yes, that is very true. Im assuming since he hasnt asked me out for this weekend, I should assume he isnt all that interested? He knows im free and I know he is free Link to comment
missmarple Posted January 24, 2014 Share Posted January 24, 2014 How do you know he's free? Link to comment
Redabc123 Posted January 24, 2014 Author Share Posted January 24, 2014 How do you know he's free? We facetimed on Tuesday and I asked him what he was doing this weekend, he said "cleaning and patching up the porch on Friday" Link to comment
missmarple Posted January 24, 2014 Share Posted January 24, 2014 I see. He doesn't sound that interested, indeed. Link to comment
Redabc123 Posted January 24, 2014 Author Share Posted January 24, 2014 I see. He doesn't sound that interested, indeed. ok well then I guess there is no reason to keep talking to him Link to comment
Redabc123 Posted January 27, 2014 Author Share Posted January 27, 2014 I see. He doesn't sound that interested, indeed. Update: He did ask me out, so I was wrong lol we went to a drive in movie last night which I was excited about. We met half way so it was about an hour drive for both of us. Maybe I got my expectations to high because the date wasnt all that great. He arrived 30 mins late because he got lost, I was a tad bit annoyed. But when I saw him that quickly went away. He is probably the most attractive person I have ever went out with. He greeted me with a kiss and an apology. We got snack ( he paid) and sat in his car and watched the remainding of the movie and ate. He was somewhat affectionate we kissed a little and he held my hand all night. We stayed for one more movie. He asked me twice if the time was ok because it was getting late and had an hour drive, I didnt know if that meant that he didnt want to be there or if he was concerned. After the movie he walked me back to my car we kissed a couple small kisses goodbye and he kissed me one more time before closing my door. I dont why but the entire drive home I was really just disappointed. I thought maybe we would be a little more affectionate or that he would express that he liked me or ask me more questions about myself ( which he doesnt do that often). Im he did text me when I got home and thanked me for meeting him, but no request for another date. Is it just me am I over reacting? Should I be expecting more? I got off the dating site this weekend, I think his profile might still be up. I asked him Friday if he was dating anyone else just to make sure I wasnt making a fool of myself he said no but at that point I knew he was still on the site so Im sure he is keeping his options open. Sorry for rabbling, Im trying hard not to mess this up because I think there might be something there. Any advice on how to proceed. I dont want to seem needy or desperate, so I dont really intiate contact or dates. Any advice will be great! Nothing mean please Thanks guys Link to comment
Batya33 Posted January 29, 2014 Share Posted January 29, 2014 I think it's fine that he's still looking to date other people. Since he knows for sure you are interested in him then I would say assume that that was your last date and if he wants to ask you out on another date he will. Nothing more you should do, in my opinion unless you've been out more than 3 or 4 times -if so then ask him out for the 4th or 5th date. Link to comment
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