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she totally confused me, some help


grconf

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hello all,

i'm 25, iv'e dated a girl recently. evrything went really good. we went to returants, pubs, then she even came to my place we saw movies at my place, evertythnig seemed to be going good. there were all the signs she wants me, she told me she is having really good time with me, i can see she atrracted to me. we kissed and slept togheher. in my birthday she went to look for a gift for me and came to my house to bring me the gift. for the nexst days i felt she is cold and try to avoid meeting me. when i asked her what is going on she told me that i'm the kind of person she is falling in love really esaily and then broke her hurt. she told me she suffered from bad relationship.

i really like her, and don't want to hurt here, i want to be with her.

i asked her to come to my place to talk, she refused at first but then came at night , i asked her if she don't want to see me again and she said yes, and was in quite distance . but after half an hour she came closer and lied next to me, hugging me. she left after few hours. i really confused. we havn't speak for 4 days already, she sent me hapy new year sms in the new year eve. what shell i do?

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Ok she is either messing you around, or more likely is scared to get hurt and scared that she may fall for you too quick.

 

My advice is, slow things down and lightening them up, be there for her but don't be clingy. Any kind of pressure right now may scare her off. You have to be strong, stable and rational, not over emotional and fragile.

 

Give her some space, instead of contacting her every day, contact her every few days. Show her you like her but don't push her, be easy going. Keep busy and depend on yourself to make yourself happy. Go out on dates with her more rather than your place, have fun, if she gets to know you better she will see you are genuine and it will ease her fears of relationships. Maybe sleeping together felt good and she got really scared. You need to make it less serious for now, follow a chilled pace, along the way when she can handle it show her more of your feelings, now just once and a while and in the eyes haha

 

If she ends up messing you about in a bad way, move on

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This advice is spot on! I have nothing more to add except to really emphasize the importance of slowing down. If she's someone you like and want to go further with, then take a step back and see what happens. Sometimes people need space to sort of their feelings. She may need that space right now.

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