clueless11 Posted November 21, 2013 Share Posted November 21, 2013 I'm really upset and I need to vent. It's easier when I'm with people, but in at work today and there's never anything to do to keep my mind occupied. He left on Tuesday night. He said he needed to be away from me for more than a weekend. He still doesn't know if he wants to try. He doesn't think being married right now is conducive to our relationship. It almost seems like he wants to divorce and start over from dating. We did get married insanely fast. I told him I would give him space, and I have. He's texted me once, both mornings we've been apart so I guess he's trying to be civil. I feel like garbage about myself. I've been reflecting back on this relationship and just hating myself for all those times I put up self protecting walls because I was too scared he'd end up hurting me. Well, it happened anyways. I wish he'd come back and I could fix everything I did wrong. I can't even explain how mad I am at myself. I miss him so much. I wish he'd believe me and know what I'm going through and how badly I want to right what I did wrong. I'm trying to stay strong and I've been praying (which is a big deal for me haha) for both of us to be ok. I really want this relationship to work. Link to comment
JJ2980 Posted November 21, 2013 Share Posted November 21, 2013 How long have you been married? And how long was the length of the relationship before then? What were the issues that hurt him? Link to comment
clueless11 Posted November 21, 2013 Author Share Posted November 21, 2013 We've been married for 10 months. We got married after 1.5 months. He's hurt because when we got married, he said he wasn't going to half a** it. And I did. For a long time. I could throw excuses around. I didn't know him well, I didn't completely trust him, I had two jobs and we moved like 3 times in a month, I was stressed. But I screwed up. I should have trusted him and let my self protection go a little. Link to comment
mhowe Posted November 21, 2013 Share Posted November 21, 2013 What was the rush? Are you the one who married a military guy? Link to comment
clueless11 Posted November 21, 2013 Author Share Posted November 21, 2013 Yeah that's me. I was done with school and I moved home. He wanted to try to make the relationship work so badly, he married me so I could stay in the town with him. Link to comment
SooSad33 Posted November 21, 2013 Share Posted November 21, 2013 Worse thing to do is blame yourself for everything. It is NOT all your fault. A relationship takes time & work. He was the other half in this. Yes, we all make mistakes.. we're human. I understand you're feeling so rough.. it's not easy at a time like this. Just don't blame yourself for it all, okay. Maybe it was a mistake to 'marry' each other. It was a mistake, I guess? Leave him to do his 'thinking' about things.. and you deal with your own emotions. Respect each other right now is all I can say. tc Link to comment
clueless11 Posted November 22, 2013 Author Share Posted November 22, 2013 Thank you for the responses. Yes, he did things wrong and I think he's going about this wrongly, but I do feel it's mostly my fault. And you know that feeling where you look back and you almost feel so overwhelmingly guilty/ ashamed. That's me right now. We've been very respectful the whole time. I'm not going to go out and do anything really stupid. I just miss him a lot. I keep wishing he will come home and surprise me with a "I'm sorry! Let's fix this!" Stupid and unlikely, but I'm just dreaming. Link to comment
AutumnBorn Posted November 24, 2013 Share Posted November 24, 2013 Clueless, what we fear most, we create. That's the energy you're putting out to the Universe. I suggest you go to Al Turtle's website and read it as many times as you need to until you really get it. It's the best relationship website in the world. link removed Link to comment
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