Soul Sex and the Mind Being Conditioned Through Porn

[vix8]

So I've been thinking a lot about soul sex lately. If you don't know what that is, it is the sacred sexual connection with yourself or with a partner. This happens when your soul is aligned. I guess I've been thinking about it ever since I started realizing the truth about porn, and how it does condition the mind due to a lack of self awareness towards what is really happening. I used to be a huge porn junky, but when I hit rock bottom in my life and began to meditate, and one of the many things I started to realize, is what porn really is, and how soul sex is WAY more satisfying when you experience it. This is not a porn debate, this is and alternative view that porn debaters fail to recognize.

 

Some people argue that porn is horrible, it corrupts the mind, it hurts people, and it degrades. Others will argue that there is nothing wrong with fantasy, and there is no harm in porn as long as it doesn't involve children, animals, and a certain degree or type of violence/abuse. I've come to the realization that both of these sides are correct.

 

Masturbation, mostly everyone does it. It's something perfectly natural, and comes in to play with fantasy. We can all agree that fantasy is something one creates in their own mind. But when we have a visual aid, that fantasy becomes conditioned more and more as we indulge into our preferences until it actually becomes a part of who we are. We start to identify ourselves with it. In extreme cases: BDSM (the people who have labeled themselves and have associated with that label as a part of their identity). In the majority of cases ("vanilla" sex): the submissive female and the dominant male (these people often do not identify as being submissive or dominant, but subconsciously act upon it, and do not even know why). This causes angry feminists (man haters who in fact provoke men to hate on feminism), and unsatisfied relationships, because what happens in the bedroom with your partner will eventually project onto the entire relationship itself. It takes a very aware mind to keep the bedroom separate with the relationship as a whole.

 

My journey with porn has always reflected in my waking life, and I never noticed until now. Like most people, it began with mild pornography, and soon branched out into fetishes that peeked my interest. The common stuff I kept reverting back to was lesbian porn and female submission/bondage porn. I noticed I started to look at women on the streets differently, started to say to myself "omg she's really hot, I would get with her in a heartbeat". Being a female, I started to crave to be hit, choked, restrained, ect. with my male partners. Eventually I had a rape fantasy and it scared me. I then asked myself, how did I go from point A to point B? Well, porn conditioned my mind. My interests peeked due to how I was feeling in my waking life. I felt worthless, I was hurt from the men in my life, and I stopped believing in love. Subconsciously I wanted to make other women feel amazing and worthy. I wanted to be a man for a woman, so I started acting like a man towards them, which unfortunately I didn't realize my mind was conditioned as a man being allowed to pervert women in degrading ways. With men I wanted to be the girl who got treated like crap. I never wanted to be emotionally attached, but instead make them depend on me for their needs. Their dependence became their form of attachment. It was my strange way of coping with the pain, and my way of handling men to prevent myself from being hurt. My way of staying in control.

 

One day my whole view on porn and sex had changed, and I'd like to share the experience with you. It's called soul sex. You can do this solo or with a participating partner. On this day I was an emotional mess. All I wanted was love, and I was literally begging for it to myself. All I wanted was to feel love, and I didn't know how. I was about to put on a porn and escape from the pain, but for some reason I didn't. Instead I touched myself without anything visual in a very very long time. The self love I experienced, and the emotional rawness was extremely fulfilling and a way words cannot describe. Ever since, I haven't watched another porn, I left my sexual partner, and my energy attracted towards a new sexual partner who showed me what soul sex is like with another person. All my weird fetish cravings slowly faded, because those fetishes formed from trauma in my psyche. My view towards women changed, and I appreciate the beauty rather than degrading it. I became more aware of how my sex life related to my waking life. I felt self love, and for once my body felt appreciated by my partner.

 

So in conclusion, due to my experiences, yes I think pornography conditions the mind. From a case like mine, to a mainstream case such as implied women displayed all over the country on advertisements, conditions the minds of our straight men, and women who are into women. I've come to the conclusion that explicit visuals guide our sexual fantasy, and if fantasy is guided, it is not truly yours. In fact it's a form of brainwashing. The real fantasy comes from within, and you can find that within soul sex.

[RedDress]

Wow - you sound very passionate. Good for you!

 

I just thought I'd jump in and give a slightly different perspective - just food for thought.

 

I'll use an analogy of videos of skydiving, because it's easier to think about.

 

Some people will look at tons of videos of skydiving because it intrigues them, and after a while think "I want to do that!" or "I want to try that!". All of their focus and interests will then turn to skydiving and they will then take that on in their "waking life" as you put it.

 

But for other people, it's not like that. For myself, for example, I might look at a video of skydiving and find it exhilarating and interesting to think about (how that might feel, what that experience would be like) but at the same time know that it's not something that I ever want to do. It's still interesting and exhilarating to watch, and it's interesting as a fantasy precisely because it's something that I would never do and know that I would not be comfortable with (and really kind of don't want to do).

 

In other words, for some people, fantasy can be just fantasy and have it just stay there. You don't have to act on fantasy or even think about acting on that fantasy.

 

Or another example - you can think or fantasize about giving up all your worldly possessions and living on an island alone and naked - and what that would be like. That doesn't necessarily mean you want to do that or WILL do that... there's a lot of downfalls to that plan... but that doesn't mean you can't think about it as a form of escapism.

 

So - while I completely see what you are saying and I think that what you are talking about CAN be a real phenomenon, I would caution against making universal declarations about how "pornography conditions the mind" and replace that with "pornography CAN condition the mind".

 

I think what you are saying is true... but I also think that it's not always true for all people. If it were, no women, for example, who were less than picture-perfect would ever get dates because men would be conditionned by advertising. While some guys DO fantasize about that (cause let's face it, it's hot) - plenty of non picture-perfect women get dates because some guys separate the fantasy from the reality and think, for example "ok - that's great - but I'd rather be with a girl who I can chow down on a sundae with" or "yeah, but I don't want to be at the gym all the time".

 

Just something to think about.

[pippy longstocking]

I agree with the end paragraphs of red dress ...

 

porn is a quick fix ...an aid to get the job done ..something to look at instead of having to run a million scenarios through your mind , it certainly hasn't conditioned my mind .

 

but I am sure it has had many an influence on people over the years .

[Stay_home]

I would have to agree with Shooting Star.

 

It's only a visual aid for me, a quick fix to get it done and out of my system. I have no desire to ever want to sleep with any of those women in the videos or any women like them. They couldn't do much of anything for me but that purpose alone. Once it's over, I go on about my day. The fantasies that I do have, the stuff that I am into is nothing extreme or too crazy. But it just so happens that I like it and it helps. Most importantly I don't allow it to control my life.

[lerenard]

I am more turned on by the sounds of porn then by an actual picture, that's strange I guess.

And I would agree - soul sex is the best thing ever. It feels like a prayer, dance or a meditation - you get connected to something higher then this world we all live in.

It is an amazing way to find your true self, your confidence and your strongest orgasms!))

Thank you vix8 for a great post!

[amipushy]

Sounds like making love to me! Porn is a quick turn on/ for materbation, thats all.

[vix8]

So - while I completely see what you are saying and I think that what you are talking about CAN be a real phenomenon, I would caution against making universal declarations about how "pornography conditions the mind" and replace that with "pornography CAN condition the mind"

 

Brilliant! You are absolutely right. When I was writing this I was only thinking of myself, it helps me organize my thoughts and process.

[vix8]

A lot of people are saying it's a quick turn on to get off. But that's what I thought too, but notice how you keep watching the same kind of porn. I guess it doesn't change everyone, but for me and many others watching the same thing over and over starts to condition your mind into wanting to do that. I have to say I've witnessed tooooo many guys who want to have sex in the same views they see in porn, for example doggy style. Sex to them becomes just getting off to their girlfriends view, which is probably why there is a stereotype that men aren't emotional during sex and it's only physical for them. Something as small as that is proof.

[pippy longstocking]

oh I can totally get what you are saying vix ....and sex with a person whose soul you have united with is something off the wall ..no words can describe ...

 

 

but I can honestly say for me ...porn is simply a means to an end ...a quick end hahaha

[lerenard]

I agree that souls sex is amazing, but sometimes I need just a release as well. I meant I want to have a quicky now and then, so its not just men that are less emotional during sex.

But I also agree that this stereotype has some reasonable foundation in it. My boyfriend for example had his first "soul sex" experience with me, and though he admits that it is the most wonderful experience in his life, he still wants to have a more simple, less emotional sex like 40 % of the time we make love. Maybe its because its in men nature and he needs some time to adjust, changing from porn sex to soul sex can take a lot of strength. And maybe its because 2 weeks out of 4 every month he comes home after 23.00 and there is simply no time and no energy in both of us to spend 1.5-2 hours making deep love to each other, but we still want one another and we try to make our quicky`s as passionate as we can.

[RedDress]

I have to say I've witnessed tooooo many guys who want to have sex in the same views they see in porn, for example doggy style. Sex to them becomes just getting off to their girlfriends view, which is probably why there is a stereotype that men aren't emotional during sex and it's only physical for them. Something as small as that is proof.

 

I see what you are saying (and I agree to a certain extent) - but I'm pretty sure doggy style, for example, is in the Kama Sutra which is over 1000 years old. So - I'm pretty sure this was going on WAAAAY before you, me and the invention of the television. And actually, when I went to Egypt, I saw some pretty dirty ancient carvings (lol!). So... I'm not entirely sure how much we can "blame" on porn.

 

I do agree that some of the more "adventurous" stuff has probably become more prevalent, though. And there is some "new" stuff (like choking for example?) - I'm not sure that this has been going on for a long time.

 

I wonder how much is "access to information" which makes people curious and want to try new things... or maybe there is a "cool" factor in some of this stuff (I mean advertising DOES work...)

 

I'm agreeing with you... I just don't know to what extent. I think there is a gray area in there... I don't think we can point to porn and say "people do this because of porn". I DO think that we can point to porn and say "more people do this more often because of porn".

 

Edited to add: Maybe we can blame porn for poor attitudes towards women and being degrading... but... that's hard to quantify as well. Women have only really had rights in the last 50/60 years. From more of a "feminist" point of view, it's probably not helping the cause...

 

It's an interesting discussion for sure - and I think that what you experienced can be very real - but I wonder who takes what "blame" (ie: access to information, advertising, porn, etc)

[vix8]

I'm agreeing with you... I just don't know to what extent. I think there is a gray area in there... I don't think we can point to porn and say "people do this because of porn". I DO think that we can point to porn and say "more people do this more often because of porn".

 

It's an interesting discussion for sure - and I think that what you experienced can be very real - but I wonder who takes what "blame" (ie: access to information, advertising, porn, etc)

 

I completely agree that there is a gray area. I don't even know If totally agree with my own words. Just trying to get ideas flowing and see what other people think. Maybe no one is to blame? Maybe it depends on the person and how they take on experiences, ideas, and visual aids. And also there background of experience and upbringing. How well someone is to differentiate between ideas, reality, and its parallel.