greywolf Posted November 10, 2013 Share Posted November 10, 2013 I don't know. Technically, there's nothing wrong with it, but I can't help but feel a little creeped out by an older man pursuing someone so much younger than he is. Link to comment
itsallgrand Posted November 10, 2013 Share Posted November 10, 2013 Thanks for your opinions everyone! At this point I'm just going to see how things play out when I see him next week. We emailed back and forth a little this week but I'm going to drop doing that for now so I can think about this situation without distraction. Smart thinking lady! Good luck with whatever you choose. Link to comment
Fudgie Posted November 10, 2013 Share Posted November 10, 2013 Moontiger, I am away on holiday right now so I am going to send you a PM soon with my thoughts. I have been with a man almost 40 years older than me. Honestly, if you're on the fence about kids and having mind blowing sex well into the future isn't a huge priority, it isn't a problem. I would say that it's a good thing that he hasn't married. It's sad how everyone expects everyone to he divorced with 2+ kids in tow, sharing custody with some bitter DC by age 40. Now, I'd be a little worried if a guy got to 50+ without ANY relationship but marriage? Maybe he's picky and hasn't found anyone worth marrying. That's very possible. Let's be honest, it can be hard finding someone worth marrying. My ex bad been divorced for several years, ex wife had long since died too. He had a few step sons but no biological children of his own and got crap for that. People wondered why he didn't want one of his own with his wife. Expectations are bizarre. Bottom line: men are men. If people find it creepy, it's because they associate all older men as being fathers, not partners. If you are open to it, it's definitely worth a shot. Link to comment
Cynder Posted November 10, 2013 Share Posted November 10, 2013 If there's a spark there then why not take him up on his offer? He showed an interest in getting to know you better. You could always spend some more time getting to know him and then if you don't like what you see you don't have to arry it further. I have a friend who is 21 and just married a 57 year old man. They are the happiest couple I know. Link to comment
Moontiger Posted November 10, 2013 Author Share Posted November 10, 2013 If there's a spark there then why not take him up on his offer? He showed an interest in getting to know you better. You could always spend some more time getting to know him and then if you don't like what you see you don't have to arry it further. I have a friend who is 21 and just married a 57 year old man. They are the happiest couple I know. Hi girl! I'm curious, how did these two people meet, how long did they date, how long have they been married? Not gonna lie, one of the reasons I'm not freaked out about my older guy being interested in me is partly because I am over 25. I've been to school, worked, dated, had life experiences etc (though I know there are many more to go). Someone being under 25 dating so much old seems weird to me. Perhaps it just my cultural up bringing though! Link to comment
Moontiger Posted November 10, 2013 Author Share Posted November 10, 2013 Hi Fudgie! I would love your opinion on this. No rush, whenever you have time. Link to comment
mhowe Posted November 10, 2013 Share Posted November 10, 2013 Just for the record...there is "mind blowing sex" with men over 50...just sayin' Link to comment
Moontiger Posted November 10, 2013 Author Share Posted November 10, 2013 Just for the record...there is "mind blowing sex" with men over 50...just sayin' Lol, thank you for the over 50 perspective! Since so many people have commented on it I will say this, I am happy have sex once or twice a week once I am in a relationship. In the beginning its more of course. Link to comment
mhowe Posted November 10, 2013 Share Posted November 10, 2013 Yeah, well....you can expect more! And I'm not even referring to the little blue pill! And we have been together 4 years! Link to comment
Fudgie Posted November 10, 2013 Share Posted November 10, 2013 Of course great sex can be had in the 50s and beyond. I am just saying, and I'm sure you know this, if you are expecting lots of great sex for several decades, it probably won't happen. Or it will at least slow down quite a bit. You may be in your late 40s and wanting it more but he may not be able to. But that's okay because you can always find other ways to get off. My ex had so many health problems that we were unable to have it much. When we did have it, it was good. That being said, I have a weird ability to "switch off" my desire for sex whenever I want and I was fine without the sex. If I were single and met the perfect man who wasn't into sex as much, I would not let that hinder me. I know everyone's prioties are different though. You'll hear from me soon Link to comment
Cynder Posted November 11, 2013 Share Posted November 11, 2013 Hi girl! I'm curious, how did these two people meet, how long did they date, how long have they been married? Not gonna lie, one of the reasons I'm not freaked out about my older guy being interested in me is partly because I am over 25. I've been to school, worked, dated, had life experiences etc (though I know there are many more to go). Someone being under 25 dating so much old seems weird to me. Perhaps it just my cultural up bringing though! Well, they actually started talking online because of several mutual interests. She was still living at home, and her ultra religious Mom kicked her out of the house at 18. She went to a women's shelter. They talked online from the women's shelter and he came and picked her up from there a few days later. They've been together ever since. They were together two years before they got married. I know a lot of people are going to read this and think it sounds really dysfunctional, but they are happy together, and they aren't hurting anyone, so more power to them. Link to comment
Moontiger Posted November 11, 2013 Author Share Posted November 11, 2013 Well, they actually started talking online because of several mutual interests. She was still living at home, and her ultra religious Mom kicked her out of the house at 18. She went to a women's shelter. They talked online from the women's shelter and he came and picked her up from there a few days later. They've been together ever since. They were together two years before they got married. I know a lot of people are going to read this and think it sounds really dysfunctional, but they are happy together, and they aren't hurting anyone, so more power to them. This story would make a really good romance novel. Link to comment
itsallgrand Posted November 11, 2013 Share Posted November 11, 2013 Well, they actually started talking online because of several mutual interests. She was still living at home, and her ultra religious Mom kicked her out of the house at 18. She went to a women's shelter. They talked online from the women's shelter and he came and picked her up from there a few days later. They've been together ever since. They were together two years before they got married. I know a lot of people are going to read this and think it sounds really dysfunctional, but they are happy together, and they aren't hurting anyone, so more power to them. You are right. It sounds very dysfunctional to me. That doesn't mean sometimes people don't live in arrangements that stem from connecting through mutual issues and have some happiness and growth together. But I sure wouldn't recommend it for anyone. She basically is the anti thesis of what I admire in a woman - she turned to an older man when she should have been learning it for herself. bleh. Link to comment
Moontiger Posted November 11, 2013 Author Share Posted November 11, 2013 You are right. It sounds very dysfunctional to me. That doesn't mean sometimes people don't live in arrangements that stem from connecting through mutual issues and have some happiness and growth together. But I sure wouldn't recommend it for anyone. She basically is the anti thesis of what I admire in a woman - she turned to an older man when she should have been learning it for herself. bleh. I actually agree with a good portion of this. I thin 99.9% of the time this kind of thing is unhealthy. WHF, this 21 year old, is she going to school/working? I think its one thing to just let a man take care of you versus accepting help while you get on your feet. If she is doing things outside of this marriage that expand her man, gain job skills, etc then IMO, there is a higher likelihood that the relationship will last and is healthy. Link to comment
Liraele Posted November 11, 2013 Share Posted November 11, 2013 Follow your gut (or your heart, pick one... should be similar). Just be sure to keep your wits about you. Link to comment
mhowe Posted November 11, 2013 Share Posted November 11, 2013 Follow your gut (or your heart, pick one... should be similar). Just be sure to keep your wits about you. And denture cream. Link to comment
Moontiger Posted November 11, 2013 Author Share Posted November 11, 2013 Follow your gut (or your heart, pick one... should be similar). Just be sure to keep your wits about you. Oh trust me, I am not one of those "love conquers all" types. Link to comment
mhowe Posted November 11, 2013 Share Posted November 11, 2013 Oh trust me, I am not one of those "love conquers all" types. If you go to the movies, he gets a discount!! Link to comment
Moontiger Posted November 11, 2013 Author Share Posted November 11, 2013 If you go to the movies, he gets a discount!! Ha, I guess that is a perk. I was think more of the intelligent conversation but your right. Discounted movie tickets also! Link to comment
mhowe Posted November 11, 2013 Share Posted November 11, 2013 Intelligent conversation, old school manners and "woo-ing"...btw, the stuff you learned in History class....he lived. Just funnin' with you --- enjoy. See where it goes. Link to comment
itsallgrand Posted November 11, 2013 Share Posted November 11, 2013 ...he lived. lol. Well he isn't that old! Just a lot older than Moon. haha. mhowe you crack me up. Link to comment
Moontiger Posted November 11, 2013 Author Share Posted November 11, 2013 Intelligent conversation, old school manners and "woo-ing"...btw, the stuff you learned in History class....he lived. Just funnin' with you --- enjoy. See where it goes. Lol, I know hun. Thanks every for your continued input. Its really helping! Link to comment
Liraele Posted November 11, 2013 Share Posted November 11, 2013 If you go to the movies, he gets a discount!! You forgot the best ones... "early bird" specials. Hello, cheap date! Link to comment
mhowe Posted November 11, 2013 Share Posted November 11, 2013 You forgot the best ones... "early bird" specials. Hello, cheap date! If he asks if you remember what you were.doing when JFK was shot just get up and go to the.powder room. Link to comment
Moontiger Posted November 11, 2013 Author Share Posted November 11, 2013 If he asks if you remember what you were.doing when JFK was shot just get up and go to the.powder room. OMG, I don't know why but that made a laugh so much!!! I think I would just him my "?" face and THEN go to the powder room. Link to comment
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