Can a guy and a girl just be friends?

[emmalee]

I want a lot of opinions here! Can a guy and a girl just be friends?

[zab]

yeh i think they can, i have lotsssss of female friends n they all brilliant, men being men will always have other thoughts in there heads but if they have enough respect for that person as a friend then they will never try anything to put any strain on the friendship in my opinion

 

Zab

[Iceman26]

Yes, I believe they can be, I dont think it is a common thing though, because I think many guys/girls hide under the pretense of being a friend because they have intimate feelings about the other person they cannot or are scared to reveal to their friend of the opposite sex.

[Yorkrose23]

Possible but not probable. Most of the time one has a crush on the other, but if you get past that you can be great friends.

My best friend is a guy who used to have a crush on me, then we dated, broke up, and became better friends than ever.

[shes2smart]

Yup. I've been friends with Ray for...um...15 or so years now, and it's been nothing but platonic on both sides the entire time.

 

Dunno how common this is, but I do know it is possible.

[CarterJonas]

Yes, I have quite a few friends that are girls and I don't want to sleep with them. Not because thay are unattractive or anything, but because I see them as friends. I often vent to them about women though....poor things are probably fed up of listening to me...lol

[themanwhorocks]

yes

[Emotional]

Mos def...Why woudnt they?

[lost and lonely]

they may act as friends..ect...but deep down, one or the other has feelings beyond friendship......one of the only ways these seem to work is if they are friends because one is dating the others friend........lets face facts...if a female is attractive a guy is going to think about sex with her (unless she is off-limits)............it's really too bad, we could really learn alot about each other.

[Iceman26]

Hell even if shes off limits, the guy will still think about it.

[JoyieGracie]

I believe that they can at certain times, but at one point in a "just friends" relationship, I'm sure either the guy or girl has wanted to be more then just friends, even if they got over that thought, and didn't purue it. "I wonder what it would be like we dated?" has crossed one or the others mind.

 

There's a movie called, "When Harry met Sally" that gave me a good perspective of why they ultimately can't, at least at one point in there relationship.

[Jimbo10]

Of course. Silly question

[ShySoul]

Why couldn't guys and girls be friends? Come on, give people some more credit. It is perfectly possible for two people of the opposite gender to have a stricly platonic friendship without any sexual tension coming between them. They could see each other more as brother/sister and the though of a relationship would become weird to them.

[chanceit]

You're so right - going out with some of my girl mates would be just too weird to think about!

 

The relationship with some you are dating/going out with/married to/etc will never be the same as when you're friends without the sexual element to the relationship.

[tenn22]

Other then my husband, my best friend is a guy. We have been friends for 9 years. When you do have a guy as a friend, and you don't want it to get any further, you need to be careful. Since both of us had significant others, we had to communicate with them about their feelings most times they didn't have any problems with us hanging out. But every once in a while there would be a issue. You most definitely be friends with a guy, but there is always a chance that one may have "more then friends feelings" and the other may not. It also depends on whether or not that person wants to pursue it or just live with it. Its confusing, but it is possible with the right people.

[swedeace]

Ah, my favorite topic: Cross-Sex Friendships!

 

I am currently doing TONS of research on this topic (with particular emphasis on relating with gay guys/straight females). As far as hetereosexual cross-sex friends go, there are various factors on both ends of yes and no.

 

* No: Blame it on the media! It's popular media images such as When Harry Met Sally that make it sound like cross-sex people will ALWAYS fall in love.

 

* Yes: In today's modern society, cross-sex friendships ARE becoming more and more acceptable. Several decades ago, it was taboo, especially for married people to have cross-sex friends. It was questioned for its validity of "true friendship."

 

As for my own personal opinion: Yes! I think it's possible and many cross-sex friends/best friends have proved it!

 

Anyway, I could ramble on and on. I've found out so much info, and I'd like to learn more!

[Rilas]

I think its completely possible. One of my best friends is a guy, and we have never even attempted dating. I've known him for nine years. Sometimes we mess around just to act like it, but we agree that it would be really weird to ever be an item. Our families always used to say"Oh, you just wait, it'll happen someday!" and now they even think it would be weird. I go to himfor a guy advice a lot, just like he comes to me. I have had the problem happen before where he has a girlfriend that is weird about us hanging out so much. But he just says"Hey, this is my sister! If you can't accept our friendship, then there is going to be some issues b/w us."

[boredguy]

Blame it on the media!

 

i totally agree. my best friend is a girl, and we haev been mistaken many a time for bein bf/gf. it can get to be quite annoying. ppl mistake this because every damn tv show/movie with cross-sex best friends end up becoming more. its tha media that instills this image into our minds. and it does not necessarily have to be true.

 

"Oh, you just wait, it'll happen someday!"

this is also another thing that just totally gets on our nerves. i mean why cant ppl just leave well enough alone. we haev a great friendship that we both know will keep going strong for years to come. we are both very mature for our age (16) and thats another reason why we are such close friends. answerin the question in one word: YES guys n girls can be just friends.

many times, they do end up becoming more, but the point is we CAN be friends, and bloody good ones at that.

[Love_sucks]

It can happen but not for me I ended up falling hard for the other girl and I never told her about this so now we dont talk anymore (well at least for like 4 days now) and it sucks.

[Alabama]

Hell yes! I have many friends that are girls. Also, for many of them I have had no attraction to what so ever. I think as long as people don't think about wanting a girlfriend/boyfriend, than it's much easier to think of them just as friends.

[Mr. Cactus]

Yes, I think it depends a lot on the emotional disposition of one or both of the "friends". For my own part, the only cross sex friendships I have had where I did not have thoughts of taking it further, were with much older women who were resolutely single and I looked at them as being sort of big sister type figures. All friendships with females close to my age I have had the desire to take things further. In only two instances did I attempt this, and both attempts were rejected.

 

For my own part, being single, lonely and pretty close to the big 40, it would be pretty hard for me just to be friends with a female and not have grander thoughts. But I've sort of been burned now and I try not to get too close to females now, for fear of developing feelings for them. Because when it happens, unfortunately there does not seem to be any "off switch" for my feelings except by ending the friendship.

 

But as a general rule, I subscribe to the notion that men and women can't be "just friends", even though they may conduct a relationship to give the appearance of being that way. I agree with the others who state that one of the pertners will always develop feelings which may or may not be kept under the surface or otherwise will constantly simmer in the background. I think to believe otherwise goes against our basic emotional and biological make up.

[Rysen]

"A woman has a close male friend. This means that he is probably interested in her, which is why he hangs around so much. She sees him strictly as a friend. This always starts out with, you're a great guy, but I don't like you in that way. This is roughly the equivalent for the guy of going to a job interview and the company saying, You have a great resume, you have all the qualifications we are looking for, but we're not going to hire you. We will, however, use your resume as the basis for comparison for all other applicants. But, we're going to hire somebody who is far less qualified and is probably an alcoholic. And if he doesn't work out, we'll hire somebody else, but still not you. In fact, we will never hire you. But we will call you from time to time to complain about the person that we hired."

 

Thought I'd start off with some humor. I got that quote from a random IRC web site, so I'm not sure who the author is.

 

Anyway,

I think they do work, but I agree with what many have said that there is some other intention underneath. At least leading to the friendship. My best friend is a girl, who I tried to date...she said yes and then quickly changed her mind thinking it was "too weird", but after that we became really close friends and today are practically inseperable. The idea that it just "doesn't work" between us has been pushed into my mind so much that I don't really see her in any other light anymore, and as someone else said, I think of her more as a sister than anything.

 

We're kind of flirty when we're together, but it never goes far. I've been mistaken for her boyfriend (I was recently asked if I was the "son-in-law to be" at a family get together I went to with her many times. We both find it funny. The worst was this summer when her and I went camping and I met a girl there who I became interested in...since it was just me and my friend in the same tent the other girl assumed that we were together and thought I was a big jerk for hitting on another girl right in front of my "girlfriend". Meanwhile it was my "girlfriend" who pushed me to even talk to the other girl. haha, oh well.

 

In any event, we often talk about relationships and the opposite sex and it's truly a gem to have that insight...I don't know what I would do without her anymore.

 

So totally, I think it can work as I'm living proof.

 

Cheers,

Rysen

[MetalJoe]

I've had female friends all my life and my best friends have always tended to be women - I guess because I find it easier to talk with them than most blokes. I've not had any of those thoughts towards most of them (or vice-versa), which surprises most guys I know, although I have asked out a couple of female friends over the years - but nothing ever ended up happening.

[slw1]

I cant do it with woman the same as me. I always fall for them, secreately hoping that we could be more one day.

[SarCareBear]

i have a couple of really close guy friends, never liked either of them in "that way". ONE annoying thing is that people ALWAYS think we are a couple. assuming continues to make an a** out of you and me.