goldfishwaitin Posted October 5, 2013 Share Posted October 5, 2013 I think it's not about when you would sleep with your date but rather how much you know about your date or how much you like your date. I guess everyone has different needs from a relationship. If some man only want sex then you may have given them what they want too soon then they don't feel like having to do more. If you are looking for something more meaningful, maybe be more careful picking the right guy to date first. Link to comment
Redabc123 Posted October 7, 2013 Author Share Posted October 7, 2013 I don't think you wait for anything. Assume that if he wants to see you again he will ask you out. Until then go on with your regular life. He is officially off the radar unless you hear from him. And you do know why you wrote that -because your purpose in texting was not to wish him a safe trip but to figure out his interest level. Of course my purpose was to find out his interest level,but because I like him I wanted to wish him a safe trip as well. Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted October 7, 2013 Share Posted October 7, 2013 If he's interested, he'll follow-up. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted October 7, 2013 Share Posted October 7, 2013 Of course my purpose was to find out his interest level,but because I like him I wanted to wish him a safe trip as well. Yes -I think it's important to keep in mind what your main purpose is so you stay honest with yourself and keep your expectations in check -expectations are quite different when we use an excuse of "safe trip" to find out interest level as compared to the sole purpose being "safe trip". What I'd do next time in a situation like that is if at all possible wish the person a safe trip or whatever other friendly message you desire to give while you are in person or in response to a text/call he sends so you won't be tempted to do it at least partly as an excuse - because your way, the waiting for a response can be painful and you really can't tell interest level unless the response is asking you out for a proper date. Also many people who receive a text like that might get the misimpression that the only purpose was to gague interest level/get the person to ask for a date and you want to avoid that impression in the early stages of getting to know someone. Link to comment
Redabc123 Posted October 7, 2013 Author Share Posted October 7, 2013 Your right, I went on my trip for the weekend and did not hear from him at all in my heart of hearts I knew this might happen, but honestly I feel like if he was interested at all he would have aleast called no one is that bad with the phone. At least I know now. Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted October 7, 2013 Share Posted October 7, 2013 Your right, I went on my trip for the weekend and did not hear from him at all in my heart of hearts I knew this might happen, but honestly I feel like if he was interested at all he would have aleast called no one is that bad with the phone. At least I know now. Glad you are finally starting to see that he's not interested. Link to comment
732mni Posted October 7, 2013 Share Posted October 7, 2013 Your right, I went on my trip for the weekend and did not hear from him at all in my heart of hearts I knew this might happen, but honestly I feel like if he was interested at all he would have aleast called no one is that bad with the phone. At least I know now. Well, he didnt hear from you at all either, so does that mean you arent interested? From reading your posts about this, you have a habit of looking for gray linings in silver clouds. It seems like there is a part of you that doesnt want this to work, unless he showers you with attention. You need to ask yourself a serious question: are you really into him, or are you just interested in getting a lot of attention from a desirable guy in order to validate your sense of self worth? If its the latter, then that may explain why you slept with him early on; you were hoping that early physical intimacy would be a shortcut to early emotional intimacy. It does not work that way. Just like it is not reasonable to expect a guy to fall head over heels in love with you after one date. That may work in fairy tales and chick flicks, but this is the real world. Developing healthy relationships takes time and work. The sooner you recognize this, the sooner youll be able to develop one yourself. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted October 7, 2013 Share Posted October 7, 2013 It sounds like she initiated contact more than once and he did not reciprocate. Link to comment
Mb1212 Posted October 8, 2013 Share Posted October 8, 2013 Glad you are finally starting to see that he's not interested. Wow! That's harsh and I don't think necessarily true. He hasn't rejected her he has replied to her texts. After three dates I think it's still up in the air how he feels and probably how she feels too but I wouldn't rush to the conclusion that he's not interested because he didn't reach out while he was out of town. Link to comment
valerie25 Posted October 8, 2013 Share Posted October 8, 2013 Your right, I went on my trip for the weekend and did not hear from him at all in my heart of hearts I knew this might happen, but honestly I feel like if he was interested at all he would have aleast called no one is that bad with the phone. At least I know now. I think you should stop obsessing about this guy. he is a person you have just met and he is already like a centre of your world. Link to comment
Redabc123 Posted October 8, 2013 Author Share Posted October 8, 2013 I think you should stop obsessing about this guy. he is a person you have just met and he is already like a centre of your world. I dont see how Im obsessing or making him the center of world,, what??? I simply asked for advice like everyone this fourm does and answered questions, I dont see how this is obsession. Link to comment
Redabc123 Posted October 8, 2013 Author Share Posted October 8, 2013 Glad you are finally starting to see that he's not interested. Thats a little rude, just two post ago you said to see if he reaches out, to make a rude comment like that I dont think it was nesscessary. Link to comment
Redabc123 Posted October 8, 2013 Author Share Posted October 8, 2013 Thank you for the positive response, its ok that he isnt interested but I did think the comment was pretty harsh. Link to comment
Redabc123 Posted October 8, 2013 Author Share Posted October 8, 2013 I need to have you as my dating coach thank you for this post, I really do need to ask my self that, I thought uncoustionly that if I was intimate with him maybe that will change my dating pattern,but it didnt work. The only thing I do now is learn from it and never do it again. I appreciate the positive feedback and will take this advice on my datin journey. Thank you Link to comment
Redabc123 Posted October 8, 2013 Author Share Posted October 8, 2013 Wow! That's harsh and I don't think necessarily true. He hasn't rejected her he has replied to her texts. After three dates I think it's still up in the air how he feels and probably how she feels too but I wouldn't rush to the conclusion that he's not interested because he didn't reach out while he was out of town. Thank you for the postive feedback, I did think the comment was pretty harsh too Link to comment
Redabc123 Posted October 8, 2013 Author Share Posted October 8, 2013 It sounds like she initiated contact more than once and he did not reciprocate. Actually I only texted him once and he responded Link to comment
Batya33 Posted October 8, 2013 Share Posted October 8, 2013 Actually I only texted him once and he responded Sorry -there were a lot of details you supplied so I misunderstood. Link to comment
Redabc123 Posted October 8, 2013 Author Share Posted October 8, 2013 Sorry -there were a lot of details you supplied so I misunderstood. Its ok, I really appreciate all the postive feedback you gave Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted October 8, 2013 Share Posted October 8, 2013 Thats a little rude, just two post ago you said to see if he reaches out, to make a rude comment like that I dont think it was nesscessary. You yourself said that no one is that bad with the phone. I was glad to see you acknowledge that. You had slept together early, had another date and then didn't hear from him for six days. You yourself said you were ready to write him off. I think if a guy is into you as he will initiate contact you. If he does not then he is not. That view is not inconsistent at all. Whether or not it's the case, him not being interested is not a slam on you. It just means he is not interested. And I don't think it's worth a couple of weeks worrying about this guy. Onwards and upwards. Link to comment
Redabc123 Posted October 8, 2013 Author Share Posted October 8, 2013 You yourself said that no one is that bad with the phone. I was glad to see you acknowledge that. You had slept together early, had another date and then didn't hear from him for six days. You yourself said you were ready to write him off. I think if a guy is into you as he will initiate contact you. If he does not then he is not. That view is not inconsistent at all. Whether or not it's the case, him not being interested is not a slam on you. It just means he is not interested. And I don't think it's worth a couple of weeks worrying about this guy. Onwards and upwards. Dating it self has been a learning experience, ill just have to learn from my mistakes, and this indeed was a mistake. Thank you for your advice. Link to comment
valerie25 Posted October 9, 2013 Share Posted October 9, 2013 I dont see how Im obsessing or making him the center of world,, what??? I simply asked for advice like everyone this fourm does and answered questions, I dont see how this is obsession. I didn't want to sound harsh or rude. Just don't waste your precious time on some dude who doesn't want to stay in touch with you. Your life is much more than that If a man is interested, he knows how to use phone and has time for it. Link to comment
Redabc123 Posted October 9, 2013 Author Share Posted October 9, 2013 I didn't want to sound harsh or rude. Just don't waste your precious time on some dude who doesn't want to stay in touch with you. Your life is much more than that If a man is interested, he knows how to use phone and has time for it. Im not, but thank you for the positive feedback Link to comment
goodheartlady Posted October 9, 2013 Share Posted October 9, 2013 I take a deep sign every them I read these posts about people who rushed things physically and spend the next week on pins and needles waiting for the guy to call. It is the same story over and over again. The lesson here is to take things slow the next time, get to know the man first, figure out if he has genuine interest in you, and then get to any physical stuff. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted October 9, 2013 Share Posted October 9, 2013 Dating it self has been a learning experience, ill just have to learn from my mistakes, and this indeed was a mistake. Thank you for your advice. Yes it is. There are also ways to lessen the risk of mistakes so that the learning experience is even more valuable. Link to comment
.jpg.1626fbc48c04fd9021fd315819807524.thumb.jpg.882936eb5901fa05cf31c75617acde2e.jpg)
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.