my BF admitted to me that he got off on my MAXIM magazine

[deviousj420]

my boyfriend of 1 year admitted to me that he got off the other night using my MAXIM magazine i had left over there.

he always tells me how sexy i am and how he gets so turned on by me but i cant get over the fact that he needed outside stimulation to satisfy his sexual needs. i was sick and sleepy that night and he said he was gonna shower then play video games b4 he came over. well thats when he decided to get off im guessin cuz he knew he wasnt gonna get any. this hurts my feelings so much. i feel like i cant be comfortable around him anymore, that i need to be his sex slave or sumthin so it never happens again.

he says itsa guy thing and thats what guys do sometime just cuz its fun. i suppose but i duno, i feel hurt he couldnt just close his eyes n imagine rather than havin to look at other chics to get turned on. and plus lil boys and big fat ugly guys who dont get none do this stuff right?! not someone who has someone n swears there so hot.

i need advice, information, something. girls, has this ever happened to you? how did you deal, what did you do? guys, is this sumthin that every guy does even when they allready have a chic?

i feel so hurt, betrayed, inadequate, un sexy. i dont know what to do. hes apologized over and over again but still.... i just dont feel as tho im good enuf for him now.

also, i want to get implants in january and he is totally against this. but isnt that wat all the chics in the magazines have?!

[69_king]

Don't take it too seriously. And what were you doing with a MAXIM magazine and leaving it with him? He was probably really horny, knew he wasn't going to get it from you, saw the mag, start looking through it and then just couldn't help himself. Anyway, for most guys a real girl is more exciting than a picture in a mag, the pictures look kinda fake anyway. I'm sure he doesn't see you any differently, do you think he never saw pictures like these before you met??

[hockeyboy]

umm...pretty much all guys do this. its not that big of a deal. it does not mean he doesnt love you or that hes not attracted to you or that he's going to cheat on you. if a guy had to ask his girl for sex everytime he needed to get off....it would get boring. to much of anything is a good thing eventually. don't take it so personal. dont feel like you have to live up to a maxim girl, they're airbrushed anyways...but im sure he thinks your beautiful but hes not gonna get off to a picture of you...i dont think any guy does that. thats to weird...he can have you for real. just relax

[dreamweaverdude]

deviousj420,

 

Dont be too devestated to find out your guy got off using a magazine. It aint the first time and wont be the last time. It should not be taken as anything against you personnally.....

 

As far implants........ that's your choice... but i prefer natural myself.. no matter how small they are to start with........

[ang3l2004]

Hello first off in my opinion because he got off on a maxim magazine means nothing dont worry about that,It is just a magazine and I dont think you should worry so much about that,Dont feel down and sad because of this some guys do this some guys dont but just remember he is with you and the relationship is right in front of you,A magazine is just something there to look at and is not a big deal,I have never had this problem though my ex would tell me that women on magazines and tv were beautiful but I never thought of it as a big deal,Are you a little insecure with yourself?If so just work on your self asteem and do things to make you happy!Good luck girl anytime you need to talk feel free to PM me

[Lil R]

but wait i do understand how it can make you feel un sexy, cause it must make you feel like he was imaging other girls not you. He was looking at other girls and not you. If it really hurts you just tell him if you want to have fun you can ave fone fun..that way hes imaging you and you can still be ill at the same time!

hope that helps.

[Iceman26]

You have to keep in mind that men in general are very visual. It is harder for guys to close their eyes and get off to a picture in our head of our girlfriends.

 

I personally did the same thing when my ex girlfriend wasnt giving me enough action, but thats me. Nothing against her, but if I am not getting any, I need to look at SOMETHING.

 

Does he pay enough attention to you? Do you pay enough attention to him?

 

You shouldnt get implants because of what chicks in the magazines have, you should get them because you want them.

 

It sounds like he likes you the way you are and doesnt want you to change, thats why he probably doesnt want you to get implants.

[RayKay]

but hes not gonna get off to a picture of you...i dont think any guy does that. thats to weird...he can have you for real. just relax

 

Well, depends, my ex used to use pictures of me sometimes to get off with (when we could NOT be together for example). I asked him once why he used them instead of other pics (of regular stranger porn at some times, he said he liked them as it was easier to visualize the actual event and because he KNEW me.

 

Anyway to original poster.....guys masturbate. So do women. Apparently some people don't...but I think that is more rare in this society at least! It is nothing personal against you, it is healthy and is just a release. It does NOT mean he wants those girls and does not want you just the way you are!

 

And NOTHING personal against you, but I am always surprised when people are offended their partners masturbate - unless it is meaning you are getting nothing yourself (they won't be with you, but will masturbate unless you have both decided to remain celibate of course) or that they have a perversion, it is healthy and normal

[long_for_me]

Hi, it is probably not a comfort but I would not let it become an issue. Men like variety and if that is what turns him on it is best to accept it. I once bought an FHM magazine for my boyfirend and he vas really thrilled. Remember, these girls are not a competition for you. Pron and erotic magazines exist because men need and use them. Be smart, use them to enchance your sex life, not to hinder it! Good luck!

[GettingOverIt]

Some guys do this, and heck some girls use a mag too... Not all guys do, and there are different reasons why some do and some don't. He loves you, and if he is telling you how sexy you are, you should feel very blessed to have him.

 

A lot of people fantasize about people other than their 'significant others.' It doesn't mean they love them any less, or find them any less attractive.

 

As far as implants - I agree with the natural thing... No matter how small, no matter how big - you were blessed with what you have and either way can be equally stimulating to both parties involved!

[Lil R]

jus have phone sex if your worried! it works with my boyf!

[Howtocope]

my boyfriend needs to get off every night in order to get to sleep. He stays up crazy hours to get his work done.. and I'm normally asleep before he is.

 

I use to be really really bothered by it too... but, now, I think I'm just use to it. It still bugs me that he has to do it.. but, as he says "It's just a tool". Girls aren't like men.. so, we don't always understand

[Iceman26]

Lil R and HowtoCope are right on the money.

 

If you are sick, you can still do phone sex (if you are feeling up to it that is)

 

As long as he is satisfying your needs and he is making you happy, who cares if he is snapping the carrot to a magazine? Its better that he do it to that versus a porno or with another girl, you know?

[Day_Walker]

The majority of men who masterbate are going to get off on something besides their gf or sig other whether its a magazine, porn vid, 1 900 number or whatever. Its best that you accept that he is going to do this because it is normal and you shouldnt be feeling the way you do. I think that you need to examine something within yourself and figure out why you happen to think this way because bahavior like this is typically caused by something in your past.

[kalshane]

Don't get implants.... that's sooo lame.

[Sebulous]

deviousj420 i have a few things to say about this, some nice and some rather mean. Mean stuff is meant to be an eye opener, not an assualt against you. What I say comes as a basis from that 1 paragraph you wrote.

 

First the good. You should be thankful that it was a magazine and not another woman that was used to fullfil his sexual need.

 

now for bad news. (Im really sorry to say this, never really hurtfull to anyone in my life) I am feeling that you have some issues. I pickup that you are so insecure with yourself (wanting implants) that you exert control over your BF to feel more comfortable and incontrol with your life. And the fact your BF masterbated to a picture of a girl other than you has made you mad.

 

rather harsh words but as you said uve been sick and you feel unimportant to your BF. I can understand being made / feeling low at the time you posted this and sounded like I pointed out above.

 

Personally, you should tell him you are upset that he jerks off.

[sweetpea4670]

I recently found my boyfriend's bookmarked porn online when he asked me to check his email when he was out of town. I knew that he looked at porn to get off , but it was just such a huge shock to see this stock pile of so much porn and all these absolutely gorgeous girls. It bothered me tremendously, but I knew I couldn't exactly tell him to stop. I know that the majority of men need porn to get off, but I always kind of thought that I was enough for him because we were in a serious relationship (as you probably thought). He explained that when I'm not around, he needs something to get off, and the sitution would be different if we were living together and he had access to me all the time. Although the porn still bothers me, it is something I have had to accept with time.

 

The problem I've always had with infidelity is not so much the physical act, but more the fact that it means that my significant other is desiring someone other than me. Now, whether they take that next step to do it or not seems kind of secondary. I guess that's why I'm so bothered by porn. It's like a type of cheating that men can get away with. They can openly admit that they desire women other than their significant others and get off through that, but because they don't actually have physical contact with them, they get away with it.

 

The other thing that this brings up, is whether men would be so eager to dismiss a woman getting off to pictures of hot men as just a "girl thing"? (assuming that it was normal for girls to do this). If the tables were turned, how happy would your boyfriend or husband be to know that when he wasn't around, you got urself off to gorgeous men with giant penises? I know my boyfriend would not be so happy. He gets very jealous when other men pay attention to me or flirt with me; so how excited would he be to see other men on my computer that I not only think are attractive and desirable, but use to satisfy my sexual needs, indirectly implying that he isn't getting the job done (or not doing it enought, etc.)

 

Just some thoughts I thought I 'd throw out there.

[Softmoonlight]

that's just the way men are.

[Cloud802]

First I'd like to adress sweetpea with this little tidbit.

 

My girlfriend and I have had a VERY healthy relationship, we have been going out for a year now. We are very compatible with eachother and the whole phone sex thing works out, personally, I think my g/f is the sexiest woman I have ever had the privalage of meeting, we are very compatible and we could just sit on the phone for hours not saying a word and just being comfortable knowing that we're on the other line. This is an ldr relationship by the way, one that requires complete trust.

 

In fact, we often find ourselves writing out our fantasies about each other in a romance novel type of thing.

 

I recently told her that I also look at porn AND hentai, not afraid to admit it I had stepped up to the bar. And you know what?

 

She didn't blow up, she wasn't uncomfortable around me, she is not insecure that she isn't satisfying me emotionally and sexually beacause guess what? She is.

 

It's not a 'cheating thing' sweetpea, it's natural. Cheating is when you sack with someone other than your g/f, cheating is when you hop from girl to girl knowing that you have a g/f. I strongly dissagree with you sweetpea, because I take serious offence to what you said as I know I'm not cheating on on my significant other.

 

As for the tables being turned, I could care less if she looked at guys in magazines and on the internet, it wouldn't bother me because we're settled with each other and satisfied with the emotional bond we have. If porn stands in the way of love this world really is going to hell.

 

~

 

Now, Devious, don't worry yourself so much and PLEASE do not get implants, that will weird him out indefinitely. I'm sorry if you take offence to this but you need to have more confidence in this, I started the whole masturbation thing when I was twelve and since then I can't stop and my girlfriend understands completely. Just because he's looking at kinky stuff on the internet doesn't mean you're not satisfying him, take my word for it, I should know.

[BlueBaron]

Well, if I'm getting this right, you don't care so much about the masturbation, just about what he's getting off to right?

 

IF that is the case, why not just have him take some pictures of you and then he'd have those to use? They don't neceseraly have to be nude pictures, (i'm pretty sure maxim isn't nude right?) just make them sexy ones, something that he can use ya kno?

That way he's only looking at you and only thinking about you but then he can still do things hinself when he wants/needs to.

However I do also agree that men are visual beings, and being able to just look at something is always nice. Its not that we think those girls are better than you, its more along the lines of our backup plan when your not in the mood (or sick etc). So don't read too much into that.

 

Also, about the getting implants, I personally don't think it's a good idea. If I were you I'd take a long, hard look at why you wanna do that, and then I'd do some reading about risks, side effects etc and maybe talk to a doctor even.

 

Good Luck!

[combat_barbie]

Just Relax. At LEAST 90% of guys masterbate regardless of whether or not they have a girlfriend. Like every guy you know does it even the ones with girlfriends they jsut don't walk around advertising it. All that nonsense about thinking you have to be a sex slave is jsut stupid. Forget about it because it doesn't matter. It's got absolutely nothing to do with your ability to arouse him whatsoever...I'm actually fairly surprised that someone who is old enough to be sexually active doesn't know this already.

 

I personally have to agree with the other who say you are insecure. What a ridiculous reaction...wanting implants. He was jsut bored or something it won't matter if you were the hottest woman alive guys get bored. I suggest maybe you see a therapist about your personal issues if this bothers you so much. This is a horrible reason to get implants and in general a HUGE overreaction.

 

Guys get off on porn but they don't respect the women in it they aren't about to leave you if one of them showed up at hsi front door. Don't be stupid if it bothers you ignore it.