Just lost my best friend....but for good reasons. Should be happy for him but??

[mines]

I'm probably going to sound like a terrible person here.

 

My best friend lives in another country. Truth is we've never met in person yet, we met on an online forum years ago. Over time we got closer, and for the past 3 years we've been ultra-close, and we've spent nearly every Saturday night, together. (well, online!) Obviously we're in different time zones, he's 8 hours ahead, so he would go to bed and get up at 3:00 am and it would be early evening for me. We would skype, chat, watch movies, make dinner 'together', and for the past few months we would watch Game of Thrones together (he's trying to get me caught up to the present!).

 

We would chat on gmail chat through the week, as we could, and send occasional emails. Purely platonic. And just to add, he's my #1 confidante.

 

He's been single for a very long time, I'm single, we've been great companions.

 

2 weeks ago, a young woman from his work, called, she had recently gone to another job, they had a cake/party for her, maybe 6 weeks ago? They never hung out or talked, etc. other than pleasantries. So she invited him to watch a movie at her place (yeah, 'odd' first 'date' and she picked the film "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind" - romantic!) He went, no kiss, no hug, hi, film, snacks, bye, done. But he called her the following week (about 10 days ago) and asked her for coffee (for last Friday). They met, cafe closed soon so they bought wine and went to her place. Ok.....he did not come home that night! Totally out of character for this guy who has been celibate for more than 10 years. Wow. So I talked to him today, at work, on gmail chat......turns out he's slept at her place most nights this past week and she's already given him a key!

 

Yikes. That is really moving fast. She is 24, he is 31, or 32 maybe. Just feel like it's really fast. I know he is really lonely. I should be (and am trying to be)very happy for him! I do want the best for him. But I also have (selfish) feelings, because I know since our time zones are so different and w/our work schedules....the only night of the week we could hang out....he will now be w/this girl

 

Happy for him, but sad to lose my friend.

 

Oh,I do believe he'll still email me, and if I have a question, need to vent, or ask for advice, he will still be there via email. But our Saturday night hangouts are history.

 

I'm really lonely. I just feel really sad right now. Mixed, happy for him, but it seems that his good fortune just maximizes the void in my own life.

 

Thanks ENA. Just really wanted someone to share this with. Normally I would share this with my dear friend Obviously I don't want to rain on his parade; I definitely won't share my feelings with him. Good for him, he deserves this happiness!

[ThatwasThen]

What a wonderful opportunity for you to find a close by friend that you can confide in and do tangible things with like go to events with, to share your day with etc. There are meet up groups such as link removed that get both male and female singles together to do various activities that you can choose.

 

You don't feel like it now, but this is a good day for you. Him not being around all the time will rehab you from the habit of this far off friendship and then you'll be open to finding either a platonic friend of the same sex or a romantic partner that will be your real partner/friend and lover.

[Celadon]

You don't sound like a terrible person. You're trying to do the right thing, being happy for him despite how his new dating life is affecting you. You've come to the right place to vent!

 

I agree this is an opportunity for you, if you'd like to take it. Although you two have been good companions, an in person companion will be even better!

 

Random aside: It never ceases to amaze me how deep a companionship we humans can forge online or through other technology, without ever having met the person. It's very real (for some, though I guess not all). I've never met anyone from ENA, but there are people who have helped me (and I hope, I them) by understanding what was really on my heart.

[Missymia]

Wow...this is so similar to what happened to me just over a month ago except my friend totally cut me out of his life by deleting me from skype, steam, any area in fact that we were on each others friends lists and never answered my last email to him asking him why he had gone to that extreme. He had also met a girl...he met her on a dating site and within a week she had driven the 2 hours to his town to meet him, stayed with him and they were "in a relationship". I also expressed my happiness for him but was banished from his life anyhow. You are lucky, you believe he will still have contact with you if you need him and if their relationship comes to an end he may need a friend, that could still be you.

 

5 weeks later I am starting to feel really good. I am getting out and about and have met some great people, in fact people who were around me all the time but it was like I just never saw them. As other people have said it is an opportunity to get out and meet other people, I really do know how hard that can be, so if you do need someone to talk to who knows exactly how you feel don't hesitate to pm me.