Thought that I was gonna break down.. but.. Up yorus, <edited> :D

[ken0001]

Hi guys. It's been a while since I've wrote something with regards to my break up.

 

A gist of what happened. Had an ex who broke up with me (again) for the third time 2 months ago. We were together on and off for the past 4 years.

 

1st Breakup - BAD (Me, begging, pleading, crying, and whatnot).

 

2nd Breakup - BAD (same as the above)

 

3rd Breakup - AWESOME FOR ME (NONE OF THE ABOVE)

 

Been on strict NC ever since the break up. Didn't beg or anything of the sort.

 

Then came yesterday...

 

I was at in the mall, playing at "Neutral Grounds" where Magic : The Gathering games and Warhammer games are being held. With my 2 buddies. Looking for cards that are awesome as hell. I got lucky 'cos I was able to buy a set of cards for half the price . Not only that, I got a single card in a booster pack that's worth at least $30 a piece considering that the booster pack only cost about $5.

 

Then , my girl best-friend sent me a text message saying she wants to meet up. I agreed to see her of course.

 

I told my friends that I'd be going first since I don't want to keep my best-friend waiting.

 

Then the unexpected happened.

 

As I was on my way to the other side of the mall, I saw a familiar face not too far away. It was her. My ex-girlfriend together with his younger brother.

 

At first I was like "Holy crap, what will I do!?". I noticed her not looking at where she was walking (well, I don't really even give a crap if she saw me or not).

 

Then at that split second, I stood my ground, thought to myself, "you're not worth the effort, time, OR ANYTHING OF THE SORT". So what I did was continue walking, looking straight at where I was walking, didn't look ANYWHERE else but straight, nor even looking down. I DIDN'T EVEN EXERT ANY EFFORT JUST TO LOOK BACK.

 

Then I said to myself... "You sir, deserve a medal."

 

Now, you might be wondering why the hell am I sharing this?

 

Maybe because, I'm happy that I didn't make a fool out of myself. I'm happy that I'm on the right track. Because back in the day, when we broke up, I'd make a fool out of myself by crying, begging, and pleading even in front of many people just for her to take me back. But surprisingly (YES, I even surprised myself), it didn't happen. My resolve was 100x stronger than the last 2 breakups I had with her.

 

I just wanted to share this because yesterday, I felt that her control over me was COMPLETELY OBLITERATED. And I'm here to remind you guys that REGARDLESS of what happened during your breakup with that special someone you had, YOU'LL DEFINITELY GET OVER IT.

 

I hope that you guys who are feeling the pain and misery now, will come to a point that you can be like me. Not giving a crap about my ex.

 

And I say this with 100% confidence that I don't want her back in my life anymore. I do hope that you guys can be the same as me someday.

 

Hold on, ok? You'll get there eventually.

[ParisPaulette]

Fantastic post, thank you for sharing this and well done. You do indeed get there, but it's nice to share when you do isn't it? Thanks for sharing.

[dfl2000]

Congrats! It's very liberating

[metrogirl]

I think sometimes when a person hurts you over and over, it's easier to just move on and let go. Good job sir!

[Purusha]

lol! Aaah great post!! Congrats!!! Enjoy drinking the sweet nectar of liberation!!!

[Tinkie9901]

That's great news! I think the day when you can see your ex and not have it mess with your emotions and cause you to lose control is a huge day in your healing! It is a massive boost to your self-confidence.

[ken0001]

Thank you for all of your responses, guys.

 

It HAS been rough for me at the first few weeks, though. But although it was rough, I didn't breakdown. NOT EVEN ONCE. And yesterday was the turning point in my life when I gave absolutely no care to my ex.

 

It feels so good to be finally free of the storm, the hindrance in my life, that is my ex.

 

I hope you guys too can move forward as fast as I did !

[OldGuy65]

Great post, ken!

 

That is truly kickass and must feel excellent! I sure wish that I was as far along as you right now.

 

Hey, from everything that I've read and heard, now that you have let go of her control over you, watch- she'll try to get back into your life.

 

I'm not saying that with any surety of course, just a feeling from all that I've been exposed to. It's something that I'm looking forward to myself, if it ever happens.

 

What an envious position you are in right now, and in the future if she attempts to reconnect with you! The power is already in your hands, not hers! If you want to try again with her, you can simply be honest and explain that you'd like to start over, and here's how I'd like our relationship to be; or just say 'have a nice life' and walk away with the biggest grin you can muster!

 

Again, congratulations!!! Keep on moving forward and enjoying life!

[ken0001]

^ Be that as it may, I'm kinda hoping that she doesn't contact me. Not that it will set me back in my healing, but I "might" say things that she will not love to hear. As much as I want to be as humane as possible when it comes to someone returning after just dumping us, I know that I might not be able to keep my cool and tell her stuff like "your loss, not mine, so get lost" or whatever. I don't want the blame to be placed on me. So let's hope for my, and her sake, she doesn't do that.

[OldGuy65]

Aw, ken now I think that you are an articulate young man. You are obviously not one of these 'player' guys who doesn't care or can be vindictive easily, or you wouldn't be here.

 

You're a guy who was genuinely hurt by this girl, but you have the intelligence and compassion- and maturity- to keep yourself in control should she want to talk again.

 

Sure, it's gone through my head that if my girl ever tried to reconnect with me I could just eviscerate her verbally and send her packing in tears. Great little revenge scenario pops up here and there. But, you know, I just couldn't do it. There's a reason I'm heartbroken over her.

 

I guess I'm just saying don't worry about it, you won't be mean if you're face to face with the girl you love(d) and the power in the relationship is in your hands.

[ken0001]

^ Thank you for your support. Rest assured, all the things that I've read in this forum as to how I should control myself and as to why I should not pay attention to her will always be put to good use. Not because I want to play mind games with her, but because I want to do better myself, without her limiting me or controlling me.