Nighttime and weekends are terrible. Feeling low.

[konoyaru]

It's been a little over 4 weeks since my cheating ex and I broke up, and we've been in NC. However... I'm finding it really hard to cope.

 

Almost all of my friends are with partners and go out dating on weekends or nights and I avoid going with them because I'm in too much pain to even consider tagging along, even though I've been invited. I'm not ready for that.

 

Nighttime, and especially weekends are really hard. Last weekend, a good friend of mine and his long term girlfriend went on a movie/date, and it just reminded me of how alone I feel... When I'm not working, I just sit here in front of my computer and wonder how she is and what she's doing. I scan this forum, read, and think.

 

When I found out she was cheating on me, I basically shut down and didn't really deal with the pain. I was in shock, and now that the shock has worn off it's really starting to hit me, I'm having trouble sleeping, eating, and enjoying anything, even simply living feels like a chore.

 

I don't really know why I created this thread, to vent I guess.

 

I just really hate weekends and nighttime now. It's the worst time. It hits me the hardest during those times because there's nothing else to soak up my attention.

[meljam512]

Well sometimes venting is what you need to do to get things in perspective. I understand not wanting to be around couples but maybe it's time you started doing things on your own or look into singles outings in your area. Have you ever hear of link removed? They have all kinds of events all over for groups and singles. You have to get out there and get on with your life.

[cbinzo68]

Beaufort, huh? I'm in Greenwood, SC. Vent away! I know how it is for a woman to cheat on you. Soon after we moved down here from NY, she found a guy and cheated on me....after 16 years of marriage. I know how it is to sit alone on the weekends also. I've been doing it for years. You get used to after a while. It's a good time to get to know yourself. Are originally from Beaufort? The reason I ask is that it might be time to move and see what's around. I plan on moving to Florida.

 

Keep your head up! It will be lonely for a while but you'll be ok. Try to meet some new people, go and explore new places. Good luck!

[SooSad33]

It's okay and i'm much the same way. I don't go out and do too much. Besides you are FRESH out of a break up. Only been a few weeks. You are going to be going thru some deep emotions now.

I am on my 3rd month and still having my rough times. yes, weekends especially. I know he's NOT with me That hurts!

 

Expect the hurt to come in waves.. just do your best to eat something. Snack,, bagel, crackers, pudding, cereal. Nothing too big, but something. My first week all i had was coffee and crackers. I know, we have 'no appetite' for a while. Like you have to end up 'making' yourself eat something...

 

If it does get too unbearable.. lack of sleep, can't focus.. so many tears. Could become depression. Get in to see your doctor for some help. I'm taking anti anxiety.depression med's now (for last 2 mos) and seeing counselor as well.

At a total loss with everything. Where you end up feeling like your world could NOT go any lower.

One day at a time.. try to get rest and keep working on eating.. okay.

Many of us understand.. we're dealing with it too.

[JA0371]

Makes total sense....so sorry you're going through this. I know when I've gone through a painful breakup it helped me to help others. One day at a time...sometimes one second or minute at a time. It's still early stages....you have to go through all the stages. So vent away! Plenty of people here who care and will listen.

[SooSad33]

And best NOT to even think of another woman in ur life for a good while. Work on YOU and your pain. Work on healing for a while again and get this all out of your system...

 

They say one month for every yr together at least- if u need more time, you'll know.

[konoyaru]

Beaufort, huh? I'm in Greenwood, SC. Vent away! I know how it is for a woman to cheat on you. Soon after we moved down here from NY, she found a guy and cheated on me....after 16 years of marriage. I know how it is to sit alone on the weekends also. I've been doing it for years. You get used to after a while. It's a good time to get to know yourself. Are originally from Beaufort? The reason I ask is that it might be time to move and see what's around. I plan on moving to Florida.

 

Keep your head up! It will be lonely for a while but you'll be ok. Try to meet some new people, go and explore new places. Good luck!

 

Well, I may be moving in a few months time. Down to Ocala, Florida actually. I have family there which is the deciding factor.

[JA0371]

Ocala is close to me lol ...small world on ENA

[sadchick83]

konoyaru,

I feel your pain and have been there myself. Can you do anything to spoil yourself? I would get a nice massage, buy myself something, really treat myself to something decadent, like an iPad or something. My dog recently passed away, but he was there through a few bad break ups. I had to keep going for him, take him for walks etc. Have you ever thought about getting a pet?

 

I spent many a Saturdays nights on these boards back in the day and made some great friends. Its always ok to vent here, since at some point friends and family can get tired of listening. As time passes you will certainly heal.

[konoyaru]

It really does seem like a small world doesn't it?

 

I'm just in a really tough spot right now. Between the break up, my medical issues, and family issues, it's as if I can't get a break. I know I need anti-depressants because my doctors keep telling me I need them, but I'm already on enough medications as is...

 

I'm self sufficient and I've never let my disabilities hold me back or used them as excuses to not work but it's hard enough to survive, let alone deal with this crap on top of it. Work is hard because I'm suffering from constant fatigue and pain, On top of preexisting medical conditions, I was recently diagnosed with a blood disease and there's no real treatment for it.

 

I mention the illnesses because of something my ex said during our breakup. She promised me that she would never judge me based on my illnesses, and for years she was supportive, and then at the end she tells me that she hated having to "deal with" my illnesses because she was worried I was going to die young, or have to quit working...

 

That hurts. I always kept my health private and when I finally open it all up to someone that I trusted more than anything, I find out it's a factor in our "downfall". She knew I was very conscious of my health issues and felt guilty about it because sometimes I was too sick or ill feeling for us to go watch movies or go out for dinner.

 

It just makes me wonder... is there anyone out there that's honestly willing to put up with an ill person? I understand it can be taxing, believe me I know, but I AM self sufficient and I'm working. I don't know... she just has me wondering so much. A lot of my down to Earth views have been shattered because of her.

[JA0371]

So sorry you are dealing with this...it adds insult to injury. Can I ask what your disability is? There may be many people going through the exact same thing right now..and reading your story.

[konoyaru]

So sorry you are dealing with this...it adds insult to injury. Can I ask what your disability is? There may be many people going through the exact same thing right now..and reading your story.

 

It's actually a multitude of issues... runs in my family.

 

I was diagnosed with narcolepsy three years ago which is what listed me as legally disabled. But I was also recently diagnosed with Polycythemia, which is that blood disease I mentioned.

 

Throw gerd, chronic depression, and cluster migraines on top of that and it's a whole lotta fun.

[JA0371]

Wow...yes..that is a lot to deal with and a breakup on top of it...post a lot if you have to. It will get better eventually, even if it doesn't seem like it. I promise.

[konoyaru]

Wow...yes..that is a lot to deal with and a breakup on top of it...post a lot if you have to. It will get better eventually, even if it doesn't seem like it. I promise.

 

I'm hoping the day that I genuinely start feeling better comes soon rather than later. I could be a lot worse off health wise, there are many people out there that have it harder than I do, but regardless, it's very debilitating. It's gotten a lot worse because of the break up since my migraines and narcolepsy flare with increases in stress.

 

But I'm still trying to keep myself busy. I'm currently writing a novel which I've wanted to do for years. It's coming along nice. I'm also considering going back to college to expand career choices. Considering moving to Florida next to some family too which can open up a lot of new possibilities.

[konoyaru]

Anyway, thank you everyone that replied. In a way, I'm glad I'm not alone, but at the same time, I'm sorry everyone here has had to deal with similar heart break. I wish everyone well.

[JA0371]

Awww thank you too. Hope you stick around...