Where do I go from here?

[bzborow1]

Hi all,

 

This is an update on a previous post. To be quick, my gf of 5 and a half years cheated on me, and then told me she needed time to figure herself out and be alone and thus, broke up with me.

 

I have ignored her for the better part of a month now, and things are getting better for me. But the other day she sent me a grad present, so I went to thank her for it. We talked and hugged a lot, and it felt both great and aweful at the same time. I'm beginning to think she's some sort of poison to me. A part of me wants her back, and a part of me wants to yell at her. She's trying to be nice about everything and do things on my terms, but the problem is....she isn't clear about anything, and i'm beginning to think women never are clear.

 

What I mean is she'll tell me, "I need time to figure myself out". But won't just say, "it's over between us". She won't say it. So of course i'm a little confused, at least if she said "itz over", i would know how to treat her. Example. She'll tell me for now friends is ok, but then call me everyday and message me on MSN, etc, etc....

 

To be honest, I love the girl, and wanted to marry her (actually bought ring), so naturally a part of me holds out hope. But my greater sense also warns me that I could be getting "played". What do you guys think I should do w/respect to her?

 

Thanks,

 

Bill

[Jose]

Thats tough. If you feel like she is the one for you, then maybe you should propose to her since you already bought the ring. Its all up to you. Go with what your heart feels and desires.

[cs20thcenturyfox]

Hello bzborow1

 

Both Jose and kddmsu have good points, but you should do what your heart tells you. I know that there's all sorts of risks, but tell me this when is there no risks in any relationship? Do what you think is right for you. Good luck. 8)

[bzborow1]

Well I guess part of it is my own perception of what's going on. She just e-mailed me telling me that going to thank her for the grad present (graduating for University) made her entire day. And she still confides in me, asking me to solve her problems...or to listen...etc.

 

I think it's best if I just walk away again for some more time and see what happens. I'm of the opinion now that if she wants me, she'll find me. It sounds a little romanticized, but what do you think?

[hoppy26]

if she really wants to find/contact you she will no matter how hard it is.

my ex did the same thing....false hope, manipulation....etc. dont bother until she trully makes you feel like shes ready if you choose to take her back. i would let her go. youll be better off when you find that person that wont ever need a break.

[crookster_man]

You're asking the wrong question bub, you need to take a step back and look at this situation objectively. As yourself this question, do you envision your self spending the rest of your life (or a big part of it) with someone who's not sure? Someone who makes you feel like shit? Honestly man, what are you thinking? Think about your ideal relationship, heck, think of a functioning relationship. Does your "relationship" measure up? I'll let you answer that one yourself.

 

Anyways, the real question you should be asking is "Why am I so afraid to let go of something that is killing me?" Lack of confidence? You don't think you will find better? Maybe you thing "I've invested so much time already." YOUR STILL YOUNG get out and find someone who will RESPECT YOU! Do you treat someone who you respect like how she is treating you?

 

CUT HER LOOSE, she'll most likely come crawling back. (if she like you at all) of course she may be the same as you and be unable to let go because of lack of confidence or self worth. Either way you will be better of alone.

Maybe in a year from now you guys could start talking again... start fresh. Right now it CANNOT WORK. Say "I love you, good bye" and let it be, at least that's my opinion, and yes I speak for experience.

 

Oh and after you let her go, don't go into a new relationship until you've boosted your ego and self confidence. Start new hobbies, run, workout, anything to build up the feeling of success in your self. You are the master of your life. Take charge and start acting like it. No one should have to compromise there core values and self respect for ANYONE!