More and more painful

[stones]

Last week, I posted the topic "He wants to break up with me because he wants to marry me." I'm most grateful for the responses. Things are getting so confusing again.

 

Last night, I cried so hard, my eyes are swelled and sore this morning. My boyfriend wants to marry me. But he cannot sacrifice his beliefs to convert to mine and I'm really in no position to force him. Like I've previously mentioned, a faith cannot be forced upon. That's just wrong. But was are deeply in love and dream of setting up a family together, legally, of course. We don't want to go on an underground relationship. We want to hold hands in public and have children together.

 

He feels that we are both just wasting each other's time and should be looking into other options. But you see, we both would be really lonely without each other. We are both working in states away from home. We are far from our family and friends.

 

Without me, he would be a dangerous workoholic again. He used to stay in the office till late hours, have a terrible unorganised apartment, weak health and zero social life. When he met me, he took more time to chill out and relax with me. Life was more enjoyable, and in a way, happier. He said that his apartment would be empty without me since he lives alone and does not have any friends.

 

Since receiveing his suggestion that we should break up, I've been either crying or sleeping. I've slept so much. Last weekend, I was barely awake for three hours each day. I just didn't want to be awake to feel all this pain. My work is lagging behind and my studies (we're both postgrads) are deteriorating.

 

He had always inspired me to work hard. I used to score excellent grades in my studies since meeting him. Nowadays, I'm just not interested in anything anymore.

 

I keep praying to God to open his heart. he is not, as I've mentioned, a bad man. He is kind and intelligent and just strongly principled. In our country, we cannot many if he does not convert. He once asked me if I would choose him over my faith. I'm sorry, that's just unfair. We love each other just as we are. It's not fair to force any of us to change who we are.

 

Does this really mean we have to break up? He's going crazy and I'm on a verge of a breakdown. I don't know what I want anymore. I just want him.

[stones]

Is this what the world is coming to? Why can't people accept that people from different cultures can fall in love? Why do people force people to believe things they don't? love him just the way he is. I wouldn't change a thing about him.

 

He feels that I should look down no him because he is from a different race. I DON'T!!!!! But that is how some people of race look at people from his race. What are some people just so damn selfish? I think people should judge each other for their character, not race. He is a good man. Why can't I love him?

 

Maybe I'm just too naive. Or maybe my strength in my religion ain't srtong enough. But you now what? I don't think I'm doing something wrong here.

 

Then why am I being punished for it?

[stones]

We are suicidal. Please help. Is there any hope at all?

[KhyrunKb]

Hey Girl, Dont change a thing about yourselve and your beliefs. He should love you for you. Love is very powerful and if he cant except your beliefs like you except his then there is a problem.

 

There should be a way where you can be happy and if you marry him and have a family. Teach your children both religions.

 

Dont give up a thing.

[Crushed]

I am horribly sorry for your pain. I really do know what your going through. My ex and I have broken up because of religion. She's extreemly religious and I'm not, but willing to learn. Anyway If your religion is something which neither of you can compromise then as much as it hurts, you can't be together. Only if one or both of you can compromise will it have any chance to work. But you shouldn't change something important to you for someone. You will probably end up resenting him for it later and/or want to "go back" and the problems will resurface. IMO

 

I wish you all the best of luck.