Matured Woman? what qualities do they have?

[Recovering_Lover]

Hi,

 

I am trying to figure out what are the qualities of a mature woman?

 

I have dated woman who are in their late teen's 19 plus and mid 20's and early 30's but in my experience most of hem seem to react is similar fashion one way or another when the relationship starts having problems.... They always seem to want to break it off and not try to work on it ?

 

Thy can't seem to take the emotional pain and tumail that comes with it.

 

So I am wondering, how do I identify a woman who is matured enough to accept the problem and want to work it out.....instead of scramming everytime.

 

Is that even possible?

 

Anyone care to comment?

[Celadon]

Hi,

 

To your question: Mature women know their worth, and value you for who you are. They take things in stride, are honest, willing to overlook small things but willing to fight for what's important. They tend to know not to sabotage the long-term by throwing a fit that feels good in the short term. They don't play games and aren't manipulative.

 

I'm wondering why the women you date tend to "scram," though. Are you choosing women who are emotionally open? Are they in the relationship for the right reasons?

 

I would also ask - do you fight fairly? Do you want to resolve conflict through discussion, or do you scare them off by yelling or doing something else that women would reasonably run away from? And have your relationships been all pain and turmoil, or have they mostly been fulfilling and joyful? I've dealt with my fair share of pain, but have to admit, I've also put up with more than is healthy. I would choose a less-painful relationship in the future.

 

Those are my thoughts on this!

[shes2smart]

If you're having the same problem with several different people, you need to take a hard, honest look at yourself because you are the constant in all these situations. It's easy to write off one or two as head cases, but when you're encountering the same thing over and over again, it's time to do some critical self-evaluation.

 

At the very least, you need to figure out why you are choosing/attracting the same type of women and having the deja vu experiences with them.

[bleeder]

Though age plays a major role in determining a person's maturity as well as persona, I believe that it still comes down to the individual at the end of the day.

 

Different people handle a relationship differently, and you might be surprised that some mature women are none the wiser. Do not use age as a yardstick, but take the time to know them better before you commit.

 

Cheers.

 

[bzborow1]

All the points are good and worth mentioning. As far as how to tell it's always a crap shoot in the end. From your end analyze what you could have done to set them off in the first place. One test though that can work is to tease them, but in a funny way, if she takes every little tease personally that's probably a good one to avoid.

[Recovering_Lover]

Well, I thought it could be me too, but my friends who know me and know how I handle relationships and have seen me work at my relationships, tell me that it is my bad luck that I met woman who all seem to have emotional problems. Each of these woman had a boyfriend who hurt them deeply and I was their 2nd boyfriend or so they say.

 

At first, they are fine, very loving and all, but when the relationships gets longer and the feelings and emotions deeper, they start to close up... and they start find fault with me....

 

I'm not saying, I'm a perfect human being, but every problem I have had, I have always worked at it....and I made it know to them, that if ever they feel something is wrong, before we make any decision, lets talk about it...lets have an open communication..and often this might resolve the problem.

 

I listen to them and try to understand what are they like so that when they are emotional or angry etc...I behave in the way, that makes easy for them to see I care.....

 

I seriously, have worked on my issues and always am working if I see something is wrong with me...

 

So I doubt, its a problem with me.

 

Maybe, the problem is I go for woman, of this type without realizing it?

 

But you never know, how they are like, only after 3 month or so then you see things peeking out....

[gersanos]

Well you never really know a person until the times get tough. Any body can be nice and all in the beginning. The beginning is a honeymoon, so everything is perfect. It's after the honeymoon ends when you see what's really going on.

 

I like the previous comment about teasing. I do that quite a bit with everyone, especially when I meet some new girl that I like. A few seem to have bottled it up in the beginning, then in time they explode and say how much it has hurt them. We'll hon, thanks for letting me know that it has bothered you all this time. I havn't changed in the way I treated you though from day 1.

 

I am also one for being open & honest with communciation. Talk about things before just bolting. I used to be a runner, and now I've learned to talk and try to work things out. Again, it stinks when the other party isn't willing to work on it, and they've kept things to themselves. That is not a healhty relationship. Even if they want out, just say something in the beginning about something not being right, instead of just keeping it inside to the point were you can't take it anymore and you bail. And in the end, it'll be less painful for the both of us, and we can walk away on good terms, instead of one getting fed up and the other getting hurt because they're trying but they really just get led on. I had one big fight with an old gf where in the middle of it she says that maybe we're not compatible. Well gee, thanks for telling me now how you feel. I had no clue about it beforehand. Seems that it was on her mind for some time though. And yet, I still tried to work things out with her, came back and apologized for my behavior during the fight, and was honest and communicated, but, to no avail.

 

It may be that you just havn't found the right one yet. She'll come around one of these days. Ask friends and family to take your inventory. Get some constructive criticism. If you ever see old girlfriends, ask them for feedback as well so you can learn something that maybe you couldn't figure out on your own. And it very well may be that you are attrated to a certain type of girl.

[Recovering_Lover]

Ger,

 

You read my mind. Thats what I feel too. But I have realized that the next realtionshp I am gonna get involved in, I'm just not gonna totally give myself to the person until the honeymoon wears off and then see how the person reacts to problems. If she is the flighty type or stayer type.

 

Looking for people who don't mind going through thick and thin and working out problems etc.

 

R.L