Found out another thing wrong im boring to women :-? :D.

[Shinobie]

Man one thing i found out and i dont know why i never thought of it but im really boring around women.Because i dont joke around or flirt or anything.Im usually quiet and just talk normally even when they try to joke around with me because im to overcome by fear.Kind of like the only date i ever been on like how it turned into one of the worst nights of my life.Im just wondering how do u girls like guys to jk or have fun or anything?Because i am a total retard when it comes too interacting with women.Women are immediately displeased by talking to me and become very stand offish and dont want to talk to me.Another one of my friends just got a gf his first and it makes me feel like im getting even farther behind but i havent been caring about women too much cept for this problem.I know how to interact with fellow males and be funny and stuff and have a good time but that is completely different.Women are just usually extremely turned off by how stupid i am with women.

[EnolWolf]

wow, i'm sorry to hear that. i hope you get through it.

[daredevil]

Dude then I'll just have to play some hl2 with u and get the fun into you!!!!

[Day_Walker]

You need to interact with them more and let your personality shine through. If you dont become more comfortable around them then you will always be seen this way. I think you will find that women wont judge you that quickly you just need to be yourself and have more of a nonchalant attitude.

[Double J]

Shinobie,

 

I've been seeing your posts for quite some time now, and I think it's time you got a little reality check. I'm only doing it to help you out, so if I sound harsh, I'm only doing it for your own good.

First, let me start off with this. Picture yourself in someone else's shoes. If there was a girl that was constantly talking negative things about herself, would you be interested in her? No, right? But that's how I've been seeing that you act. You're constantly putting yourself down, and then you come to this board so that people could cheer you up and tell you that you're a good guy and whatever. You do seem like a nice guy, and I think Enotalone is a great tool you use. But no advice people give you is going to change you - YOU have to change yourself my man.

 

You have to take that initiative in your life to start valuing yourself more as a person. Stop depending so much on girls to be happy with yourself. Girls are human beings - they're the most beautiful gift God's given us men, but no reason to put them on a pedestal. They have FLAWS just like us, and what you don't realize is that they hate it when guys worship them! Girls hate guys that seek approval, try to buy their affection with gifts and compliments 24/7, etc.

 

It all starts with not caring what they think about you. You have to believe in yourself in order for others to believe in you. You have to boost your self-esteem. At one point in my life, I also had self-esteem and confidence issues. But one day I said "What the heck, i'm a human being and I deserve to be respected." From that day on, I became a different person and never let people step over me.

 

As for girls, you're gonna have to do a little research. Instead of spending so many hours posting, look up information on how to be more attractive to women, how to build self-confidence, etc. You're not going to make progress by just complaining on this forum. I certainly couldn't have changed if I wouldn't have invested time in research.

 

I hope this helps man. I just kept seeing your posts where you put yourself down and it prompted me to do this. Believe in yourself.

[Ceema-k]

Hi Shinobie,

I'm with Double J on this. I have come accross a few of your posts and not one of them as had any positivity about them whatsoever. Now I understand that you're dealing with recurring depressive episodes. One of my best friends is clinically depressed and takes meds as well, so I have an idea of how powerful a condition it is. Even so, there are a few things you need to realize.

 

The reality of life is that it changes for nobody. The only thing you can change is yourself. And once you change yourself, the world around you also changes.

 

It's a perception thing. Sadly, depression is very good at negatively coloring your perception of things, no matter how hard you try to shake it.

 

With my friend, I noticed that things got bad if he stopped taking his medication, of course. However, it wouldn't be so bad if he kept himself busy. And whe he puts his mind to it, he can be quite the busy guy... running errands, being involved with his church, tutoring students, volunteer work, his job, friends... you name it. The more idle he became, however, the likelier he would fall back into depression. These phases would start with him withdrawing more, not wanting to go hang out and generally staying in and playing computer games for hours. and of course, tons and tons of sleeping.

 

Does any of this mirror aspects of your own personal life, Shinobie? For example, it sounds like you enjoy gaming. Why not cut back a bit on that and instead start reading books, especially books about dating, women and self-help books? Why not start a new hobby, or indulge some hobbies that you've long neglected?

 

Just try and do things that will keep you from thinking about yourself too much. Do things that you enjoy and that put you in contact with people, be it friends or strangers. Ultimately, there is no quick fix.. We are taking small steps here. There is no guarrantee that doing any of this will land you a girlfriend or a date. But that's OK. Because that's not the point of all this.

 

The point of my spiel is to get you to like yourself again. Meeting girls and finding a girlfriend is a whole nutha game in a whole different ballpark. But really, you may read this and not believe that you can like yourself. That's cool. It'll take more than my typed out words to re-wire your brain and it's conditioned way of thinking. But if you just try doing some of the things i suggest, and keep at it, without any expectation that yoru life will magically change right away, then I think it will do you a world of good in the long run.

[Shinobie]

Well iono i would still go out with a girl that constantly puts down herself and try to help her out and maybe myself.Most people that put down themseleves are people that are ugly like me.How can i gain confidence if i get put down by women who call me ugly.How can i gain confidence if i know that no girls are attracted to me.I never do get any double takes or anything they usually just look once and see ugly and look away.

[1899]

Hey, maybe you should post your picture on link removed and see where you really stand with most women as far as looks are concerned. women that visit the site vote you from a 1-10 You may find out that you rank high and that you may just need to hone your social skills.

 

Also, Constantly putting yourself down will NOT help you. Youve got another 50 years of life on this earth, might as well start now trying to get your life together so you can enjoy it. No one else is going to magicly swoop you off your feet and women arent the cure (beacuse they can dump you). First you can start by taking down that image next to your name. Find somthing your into (except computers) and be really good at it.

[JonnyG]

Hey, maybe you should post your picture on link removed and see where you really stand with most women as far as looks are concerned. women that visit the site vote you from a 1-10 You may find out that you rank high and that you may just need to hone your social skills.

 

Also, Constantly putting yourself down will NOT help you. Youve got another 50 years of life on this earth, might as well start now trying to get your life together so you can enjoy it. No one else is going to magicly swoop you off your feet and women arent the cure (beacuse they can dump you). First you can start by taking down that image next to your name. Find somthing your into (except computers) and be really good at it.

 

lol, those hot or not sites are funny. Don't know how but on some of them the guys always rate highly, yet these same people still find it hard to ever get women to notice them Must be the guys voting themselves up

 

But I to, want to know what shinobie looks like after all these negative comments he makes of himself.