pandorasbox1 Posted April 25, 2013 Author Share Posted April 25, 2013 I dont think we are referring to the same things when we are speaking about immaturity Point is I think its important that two people find eachother who want the same things in life at a certain point in their life. I understand that he wasnt ready to be tied down and I have made peace with that. Perhaps I will be better off elsewhere, with someone else and so will he. Link to comment
Sparklesong Posted April 25, 2013 Share Posted April 25, 2013 The guy didn't leave you "for" his friends, he's hanging with his friends because he decided he didn't want to be with you anymore. It sucks royally, but it's really nothing new. There's not one person in this forum who hasn't broken up with someone and who hasn't had someone broken up with them. It is just part of life, unfortunately. And it's better he broke it off now instead of down the road when you might have been married with kids, a mortgage and two car payments. As far as a "bromance", that's only a trendy, tongue-in-cheek catch-phrase, it's not a real human condition. When we ladies break up with a guy we don't see ourselves with for the long-term and start having girls night out's, are we having a "sismance"? No, we're just passing the time in a healthy and fun way until another comes along, and they always do. Time will pass, and so will the gut-wrenching feelings, it just takes time. Just know that you are by far not alone. Came back to add another thought....this is inspired by other posts but not directed AT any poster in particular......if a guy is in love with you and decides he wants to make a life with you, then the idea of the extra responsibilites of settling down, etc. become much more desirable. Then there are guys who don't settle down with a woman until they have bought a house, saved money, paid off their car, etc. In other words, each guy is different, and even though he hasn't done what society might perceive as "mature" things, there is a certain degree of maturity in knowing that one is not ready to do those things and taking advantage of the years left that one has to be "immature". Link to comment
soloman9 Posted April 25, 2013 Share Posted April 25, 2013 It's not being immature that make guys not want to commit ... they would commit and be 'mature' if they knew you were the one they wanted to be with. I don't believe settling down is scary for a guy when they've found the right person. Link to comment
Marah Posted April 25, 2013 Share Posted April 25, 2013 It's not being immature that make guys not want to commit ... they would commit and be 'mature' if they knew you were the one they wanted to be with. I don't believe settling down is scary for a guy when they've found the right person. This is definitely not always true. Plenty of people fear commitment and it takes them looking inward on their issues to resolve it. No "right person" exists, in that case. Link to comment
soloman9 Posted April 25, 2013 Share Posted April 25, 2013 Well I know plenty of men who say they'll never settle down, but then do when they meet the right person for them to settle down with, perhaps only 2 months after saying they'll never settle down. You can believe what you want but this is the case maybe 99% of the time. I think people tell themselves things to make it out that the other person has a problem with commitment, when ultimately, it's just that they are not wanting to commit to you. Link to comment
pandorasbox1 Posted April 25, 2013 Author Share Posted April 25, 2013 Yeah, I have considered this and I know its something I need to accept. It hurts but I guess I cant be everyone's cup of tea Link to comment
DN Posted April 25, 2013 Share Posted April 25, 2013 There are many people who have never married or lived with someone who have had fulfilling and useful lives, it would be ridiculous to infer that they are immature simply because they never settled down with someone who wanted to settle down with them. Examples: Susan B Anthony Plato Oprah Winfrey Isaac Newton Condoleezza Rice Voltaire Jane Austen Hanging pejorative labels on someone because they don't do what you think they ought to do helps no one. 'bromance' is another example - used by people who for whatever reason, don't like the idea of a man having a close male friend. Instead of using put-downs, just see things for what they really are. No one is owed a relationship, or the continuation of a relationship, where there has been no promises or vows made of 'until death do us part'. Although it is very hard to love someone who doesn't love you back in return, or not enough to stay with you, that is their right to end the relationship and to hang labels like 'immature' on them is counter-productive. In one sense, it is a little arrogant, as if you (I am speaking generically here, not at one person or another) are implying that the only reason someone would not want to be with someone as fantastic as you is because they are immature. There are many reasons people may not want to be with you, most often it is not because there is something wrong with you or with them, it's just that the 'chemistry' isn't right. Link to comment
pandorasbox1 Posted April 25, 2013 Author Share Posted April 25, 2013 Thanks DN.... I think we all see your point and get where you are coming from now. People will always have a difference of opinion/ view on life and things that come with it. I respect everyone's views and opinions Can we move along from the "immature" debate? I think all that can be said has been Link to comment
DN Posted April 25, 2013 Share Posted April 25, 2013 Can we move along from the "immature" debate? I think all that can be said has beenSure, I just wanted you to look at this realistically in a way that will help you move on. From your latest thread today, it seems that you are. Link to comment
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