Moving back home for a new job...but the old life?

[Guitarguy_82]

Hi folks,

 

Seems as though I'm in an interesting situation and I could use some advice. I apologize in advance if my sentence structure is chaotic...its been a long day.

 

I used to live in Texas for most of my adult life, specifically the DFW area for about 15+ years....and about a year ago I got a job that had me relocated to Atlanta. At first I was hesitant, but ultimately was excited at the prospect of a new life and new job, new city, etc etc...

 

Atlanta has been good to me, I've made some great friends, went on a few fun dates, and in general have had a good time. The job itself is less than amazing (I hate the people I work with more than anything), but it is good experience on my resume.

 

The notion of going back home has always been something I'd just "get around to" since this project has an indefinite length of time attached to it. Initially the job was only supposed to last 6 months....and when I initially moved I had the mentality that I would move back to Texas ASAP. As time moved on and 6 months grew into almost a year, I just figured I'd find a job back home and move back when I was good and ready.

 

Now flash forward to today, and an old co-worker texts me and has an inside networking opportunity for me as an engineer at his company. A few emails later and I have a phone interview setup tomorrow for basically the same job, with more pay, more benefits, and of course, its back home where my family is.

 

All in all it sounds good. I have no doubts that I meet and exceed the qualifications of the position and could probably sleep through the interview. From what my inside connection tells me, its pretty much a piece of cake anyway. This of course, made me start thinking wayyy ahead of the game.

 

My dilemma is this: I don't exactly want to go home now. Hell, I just got my plates and ID and everything squared away for the state of Georgia (long story, apparently I should have done it when I first moved to Atlanta, but somehow I slipped through the cracks and just got it done this month).

 

As I said, Atlanta has been good to me, and there's a ton more I haven't even seen in the city. I also recently started training at a dojo and I've really grown to enjoy what I'm learning there. To all of a sudden say goodbye to that really irks me.

 

In the more broad spectrum, my good friend (who introduced me to the dojo, in addition to just being a great friend in general) that I met here is probably moving away soon as well (his wife is joining the Army in the next few weeks and will probably start language school in California), and knowing that they are leaving is also a good hint that maybe this "new" job is becoming available at just the right time for me to go back to TX. Not to say that I'm basing my life on what my friends are doing, but if they happen to be moving away, then its not like I'm leaving anything important here in Georgia. I don't have any relationships or strong ties to Georgia....all of that is back in Texas.

 

Then we look at the other side of the coin...which is why I'm writing in the first place....what exactly am I going back to in Texas?

 

I used to have a lot of friends back there. Most have either moved away, we've lost touch, or I've burned that bridge with no hope of salvaging it. I've got a few friends I'll hang out with, a few old bars I'll go to, and of course I'll go watch all my favorite teams again, etc....but it's all things I've already done.

 

As I mentioned, I lived there for a long time, so its home to me, but that is a part of the reason why I moved away in the first place! To get away from home and all the relationships I've screwed up in the past. Atlanta was my "fresh start".

 

Of course, that's not to say I can't have a fresh start back in Dallas. It's all about how I approach it, right? Who's to say Atlanta was the end-all-be-all of my future life? Maybe its just a pit stop? Maybe Dallas 2.0 (with the new job) is just a pit stop as well? It's not like I've seen all of the DFW area...(just a good chunk of it)....and there's plenty of other cities I could move to in the future....if the right opportunity came up.

 

Not to get too off-topic, but maybe this is all a part of the grand scheme of things? Maybe I am meant to go back to Texas?

 

Put the city aside, put my friends aside, put all that other stuff aside....what it comes down to is family. If it wasn't for the fact that they are there in DFW, I wouldn't even consider the job much less going back. I miss them and always worry that I'm going to miss something big with them. But isn't that a part of getting older? Growing apart over time? Am I messing with the fabric of the space/time continuum?? I love the idea that I'll be back with my family....but is that my main motivation? Besides a few extra thousand dollars a year and a different insurance policy?

 

If you haven't already figured it out, I tend to over-think things and go in circles when I'm worried or anxious.

 

At the end of the day, I'm getting way too ahead of myself, and I haven't even interviewed with this new company. Even if things go great, I could always say no and stay here in Georgia with my "meh" job and creaky 1 bedroom apartment. However, the thought of leaving a life that I was trying to start here in Georgia (and all the big-dreamy hopes and anticipation of what could happen) just to hit the big reset button and go back to Texas it has really put my brain in a tailspin.

 

As always, your thoughts and suggestions are welcomed....

[abitbroken]

owever, the thought of leaving a life that I was trying to start here in Georgia (and all the big-dreamy hopes and anticipation of what could happen) just to hit the big reset button and go back to Texas it has really put my brain in a tailspin.

 

If the cons of Georgia are:

Creaky one bedroom apartment

Not being near family

new friends are moving away

Job is meh

coworkers are blech

 

And the cons of Texas are:

Giving up on the "life you are trying to start in Georgia"

Going back to texas sooner than you thought

 

And the Pros are:

Closer to family (close as you want to be - around the block or an hour away)

Job with better pay

Job that seems like a better fit

Inside track to a company

 

I can't really see how you would want to stay in Georgia. You can always leave again if you wanted to, and you can always choose - if the company is 30 minutes from family, you can move 30 minutes in the opposite direction where you won't feel right on top of them - you can do that. You will make different friends because you are socializing with new people and it won't be you just trying to connect with old high school people.

 

It seems like the job is the perfect opportunity - esp if the life in Georgia really isn't heading in the direction you have dreamed of.

[abitbroken]

Growing apart over time?

 

Why do you have to grow apart and become distant? That is what families would like to avoid. Sure, mature, grow up, get a place of your own, but why do you have to grow apart on purpose if you obviously care about them and don't want to miss anything? You don't have to have a wedge between you - just don't move back and live with your folks.

[Guitarguy_82]

Thanks, abitbroken. Perhaps I should have clarified my words about "growing apart over time".... I want nothing more than for us to stay close as a family, but I also realize that my younger siblings will grow up and start lives of their own at some point. I suppose I'm still trying to wrap my head around that idea, since I am the "big brother" of the family.

 

And you're absolutely right about moving back to Texas versus Georgia....nothing says I have to stay there. Nothing says I have to live in the same neighborhood I used to live in. Georgia has been good, but perhaps its not where I was meant to end up in the long run. Definitely not with this current job.

 

I was looking at a few pictures of my family last night....I think that pretty much sealed the deal. I can't wait to go back home.

 

Hope this interview goes well.