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Does this strike anyone else as strange...?

Cynder

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Cynder Grand Master

Cynder

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I just got this odd message from my ex's best friend on facebook.

 

A couple weeks ago I actually put my ex on my restricted list on fb and made it so he can't message me. I did this instead of blocking him because I didn't want to deal with the drama that would certainly follow if I outright blocked him. Basically, he is still on my friends list, but he can't see any of my posts, post on my wall, or message me. I did this because he was starting to make some pretty inappropriate comments to me (of a sexual nature) and I just got tired of it. I felt like it was disrespectful. And I also felt like not stopping it was disrespectful to my bf.

 

My bf knows about it, if anyone wonders.

 

So... I logged on just now and my ex's best friend Ben sent me a message that said, "Hey *ex's name* found a script of yours the other day. He wants you to call him or text him about it." And then there was my ex's number.

 

It's not too hard to figure out how he acquired the script. He was my best friend's roommate for years... And my best friend was in this film. (I'm an independent film maker, for those not in the know, lol.) It is most likely my friend's copy of the script.

 

I really don't care if he has my script. I have that script both in print and also saved on my computer. I am not in dire need to that copy.

But, that's not even the issue.

 

This is just odd to me. I made that film three years ago. And my ex has moved twice since then. So somehow that script has followed him from house to house, and I recently blocked him on facebook (sorta) and now suddenly he wants to give me my script back?

 

Do you think he knows he's been blocked and is just using the script as a way to get in touch with me?

 

I don't plan on calling him. I am not sure weather I should reply to the message from Ben and just tell him I don't need the script back. Idk...

 

I appreciate any thoughts on this. Thanks in advance...

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EssexMan Apprentice

EssexMan

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Do you think he knows he's been blocked and is just using the script as a way to get in touch with me?

 

Yeah, he knows he's restricted, it's really not difficult to figure out - especially if you (as in OP) are a fairly regular FB poster and suddenly he's seeing none of your posts.

 

It's perfectly believable that he has just come accross the script in a box or the bottom of a drawer or whatever, but I would think you're right, he is using it as an excuse to open dialogue with you. He presumably would know it wasn't the only copy in the world?

 

I am not sure weather I should reply to the message from Ben and just tell him I don't need the script back.

 

I think so, if only so your ex isn't pestering Ben to get in touch again with follow-ups.

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Cynder Grand Master

Cynder

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Yeah, he knows he's blocked, it's really not difficult to figure out - especially if you (as in OP) are a fairly regular FB poster and suddenly he's seeing none of your posts.

 

It's perfectly believable that he has just come accross the script in a box or the bottom of a drawer or whatever, but I would think you're right, he is using it as an excuse to open dialogue with you. He presumably would know it wasn't the only copy in the world?

 

 

I think so, if only so your ex isn't pestering Ben to get in touch again with follow-ups.

 

You know... it's funny you say that because he pretended to be Ben one other time on facebook when I was still dating him. He did it to test my loyalty I guess. He IMed me as Ben and basically hit on me. Then when I rejected "Ben" he told me it was him the whole time.

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EssexMan Apprentice

EssexMan

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You know... it's funny you say that because he pretended to be Ben one other time on facebook when I was still dating him. He did it to test my loyalty I guess. He IMed me as Ben and basically hit on me. Then when I rejected "Ben" he told me it was him the whole time.

 

Well, maybe it is even your ex again posing as Ben. But I'd give the real Ben the benefit of the doubt and assume he's just an innocent third party relaying messages, who probably doesn't really want to but can't say no to his best friend.

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Edmund Exley Contributor

Edmund Exley

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Well, maybe it is even your ex again posing as Ben. But I'd give the real Ben the benefit of the doubt and assume he's just an innocent third party relaying messages, who probably doesn't really want to but can't say no to his best friend.

 

Tell Ben to mail it to you and have a nice day

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Cynder Grand Master

Cynder

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Even more so. I'm still taken a back by you're not removing him from FB because of the drama it will entail. Remove him and ignore his drama.
I should have known this was coming... I blocked him a few weeks after we broke up. But since him and I have a lot of mutual friends it cause some trouble in that circle of friends. It became this whole thing where people were feeling like they had to pick a side. People thought me blocking him was childish and overdramatic. But some also though he was being the same for getting all pissed off about it. I'm just trying to avoid that again. Facebook introduced the restricted list option for these situations. Some people just can't handle being unfriended.
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onelittleladybug Enthusiast

onelittleladybug

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I think everyone here is reading way too much into this. I have scripts I kept for sentimental reason. Maybe it didnt feel right for him to toss it. I would just reply back "tell him thanks but I have two copies". Then just keep on with your NC and your life. You have a bf, why even spend the time on this. You only have drama if you allow yourself to get sucked into it.

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petite Rising Star

petite

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I say ignore it. You don't need the script so there is no point even going into details. If you really feel obligated to reply (I know sometimes I feel obligated to reply even when I might not want to or feel it is necessary) then you can just thank the friend for sending you a message and say you don't want/need the script.

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nutbrownhare Veteran

nutbrownhare

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I'd reply that I didn't need it, and have a nice day; if there's no response from you then 'Ben' may keep pestering you until he gets one. Also, I don't fully understand why you haven't blocked your ex totally on FB and every other means he may have of contacting you. If he can't actually get hold of you, he'll have to have his dramas all on his own, won't he?

 

Even if he shares his tantrums with his/your friends, they'll soon get fed up with it. If anyone suggests you ought to contact him, it's more likely to get the guy off THEIR back than anything else. I have 75 mutual friends with my ex, which is why I didn't delete my FB account but blocked him as soon as we split up. I really don't care what others think of the breakup; it's none of their business.

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markie6 Explorer

markie6

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Age is no guarantee of maturity. I have to agree with those who suggest blocking. Like others I have a ton of mutual friends, most of whom have been great about it all. It's all well and good restricting them but the fact remains that by not blocking ( which imho is essential for healing too) you are possibly sending out an un-intended message. "Why haven't I been blocked... "?

 

Of course FB brings all these thoughts and possibilities which could be way of base, so best not to let them bother you. The door is best left bolted shut, especially when you have somebody new

Lol... sad part is my ex is ten years older then me. He's in his 40s.
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