Do you eventually regret treating someone like $#%% ?

[fabact]

Is there such a thing as love karma??

 

In my 20's I treated some really nice, good guys not so nicely (aloof, not emotionally available, blow them off). Over time I have come to regret those blow-offs and treatments (and I have apologized) Fast forward... Over the last few years, I have gotten my fair share of men treating me like crap. It's like someone held up a mirror and was showing me how I had acted with past boyfriends.

 

However, time and again, the recent years guys that treated me like crap, come back to say 'hi' or flat out apologize. An ex I had gone out with for a year which was verbally abusive, controlling and just plain mean sometimes, told me last week that he 'regretted how he treated me.' and that he was sorry.

 

My question is, in love, do you find that if you treated someone not so nicely, you are compelled to regret it at some point and let them know that? Is there such a thing as love karma?

 

thanks for any input.

[Edmund Exley]

Karma is nothing more than finding an excuse for something bad happening. Bad things happen to everyone sooner or later.

 

The fact is, you treated good guys bad when you were young. Now most of the good guys are gone and you are left to wade through the ocean of douchebags who are most likely still available because they generally treat people bad too. Thats not karma, thats just slow elimination of good single guys as you get older.

 

Plus, generally as people get older they become jaded from all the bad experiences of their past relationship, so they are often more cynical.

[icantsay]

I don't know but I sure hope there is!

I once had an ex who broke up and then came back after a few months apologizing for his behavior. It was nice to know and now we are friends again. I also once apologized to an ex about my behavior. Maybe there is something about that karma? Haven't thought of it before.

[ParisPaulette]

I don't think it's so much Karma as it is that you are growing up and with more experience you are now more aware of your own bad behavior since you've experienced the same thing you once did to others. I do regret how I treated some people when I was young and full of hot air and thought I was way tougher and better than I actually was. All you can do is what you've already done--apoligize where possible, learn from your mistakes, and learn to be kinder and treat others in your life with more love and respect. AND you need to insist others do the same with you since no matter what you did or didn't do in your younger years you don't deserve to be treated poorly or punished now for something that happened a long time ago.

 

Do I believe in Karma? Not per se except that I do think people who treat others badly and continue to do so never learning from their mistakes, will sooner or later, cross the wrong person or situation. I have seen that happen many times.

[melissap1991]

I'm a firm believer in Karma only because I've had my fair share of it.

Today is my 32nd day sober of herion and opiate pain killers & let me tell you.. while I was on these drugs I did crazy things to get them (like almost being raped and killed several times) and on top of that I treated my friends and familly like ****. On February 5th of this year I finally decided enough is enough and quit it all cold turkey. I was admitted to the hospital for a week and the amount of physical and mental pain I went through from the withdrawals was so bad I literally thought I was dying & I truly do believe that the waithdrawals and the pain I went through was part of Karma'a way telling me this is what you get for hurting so many people.

 

I don't know if it's the same concept as what you're talking about, but I do believe karma is real. People regret things a lot. I know I sure as hell do & pretty much all I can do about it is apalogize and try to make up for what I've done.

 

I hope that kind of helped(:

 

 

-Melissa P

[quirky]

I was pretty arrogant when I was younger and treated some people badly, usually people that considered themselves 'nice' but were actually doormats. I apologised for my actions but really..I wasn't able to fully understand until I got my share of heartbreak. I do think sometimes I get bad karma now but in reality I think love just takes longer if you're a bit messed up.

[Monkey ai]

I am not sure about Karma, I hope they do exist...I always nice to people, not everyone can be that... I am doubt it people will come to you to apologize, but they might felt guilty later on..

[shaynah]

I believe in karma in the very direct sense. If you mistreat someone, you may miss an opportunity to ever have something special with that person, or anyone else who saw you do that type of thing. You are still young in your early twenties and it's normal to do things that you may look back on and wish you had handled differently. Look at it as learning and growing pains. The mistreatment you had was showing you that you're not the only one who is still learning and growing.

Sometimes it takes these kinds of experiences to appreciate someone good and when they come along you won't mistreat them, you'll treasure them.

[HeatherB]

I don't believe in karma. I think that if it existed, we'd all be in a lot of trouble. The number of people I accidentally hurt or slight or fail to notice in one day would be overwhelming if I were held to account for it all. I actually believe in grace. We get absolved of a lot more than we know.

 

I don't think you've been encountering karma in your adventures. Like Shayna said, you're just learning as you go. You were unthinkingly a bit of a snot to some guys when you were younger. Lately you've been accepting unthinking or outright mean men into your orbit. The next lesson, as I see it, is to come up with a new model for relating where no one has to be mean.