What to make from a text messege

[twiggs]

I cant get this out of my head. My ex left me, got in another relationship extremely fast, and last Friday wrote me a text that said "Im sorry", I replied "for what." She hasnt responded back to me, and its tuesday night, whats goin on?

[Lily04]

That seems pretty open to interpretation. If you really want to find out, why not call her and ask what's up? You just want to make sure she's all right or something..I'm not sure how close you guys still are -- it appears that you're still talking to each other, but whether you're still friends or whatnot..in any case, if you want to clear things up I suggest taking the initiative because she might not..or might feel too embarrassed to.

[twiggs]

we split 3 weeks ago. She got a new bf fast. So I started NC a week and a half ago. We havnt talked on phone or in person since first week of split, does that change what her text means?

[chai714]

Twiggs - There's nothing to think about in this case. Do not think about this one for even one more second. She sent you a text, you sent her one back, and she could not explain why. Leave it there. If someone is truly sorry, it is shown. Being sorry is not words, but action. Let her actions do the talking. Her actions right now, are silence. Move forward and forget you ever received that text.

[twiggs]

chai714, just go on. Forget the text ever happened? Thats what I want to do, but its tough. So many thoughts entered my head when I read it. If she really meant what she said would she act more on her feelings, or is Lily04 right, maybe shes embarressed.

[Daisy20]

The way I took the "I'm sorry" is more in the context that she hurt you by getting into another relationship so quickly and feels bad for hurting you. I would just leave it alone because the ball is in her court right now. You sent her a text back, just leave it at that.

[RayKay]

You need to just leave it. She may have just felt bad at that moment and wanted to say something about it, but clearly she is not ready to talk, or she would of called rather than send a text. I know it is hard not to think about it, but empower yourself, don't let her hold you back on your healing process.

 

As Chai said above, "I'm sorry" is just words - you deserve action.

 

Peace.

[twiggs]

amazingly she called me tonight. She wanted to see how I was doing.How my job interview was going. I didnt really ask if she was still w/ her new bf but, just asked if she was happy. She said yes. She said she called for the exact reason RayKay said, she was sorry for getting in another relationship so fast. She said she still cares for me. She ended the conversation with. I really gotta . What do I make of this?

[iceesnowbubble]

seems like she is just feeling guilty..thats natural. Sorry to burst your bubble, but it doesn't seems like she means much out of it or that you should read to far into it except what she plainly said..she is sorry for jumping into something so fast and she still cares... That doesn't necessarily mean she wants to get back to anything with you however. Just let it go. It's hard, but if you hang on two little words, then you are wasting time on someeone who you can't even tell what they are thinking. If she wants something with you... i agree with the others on the board..actions speak louder than words. Keep the up the NC.

 

goodluck *~

 

i.C.e.E.s.N.o.W.b.u.B.b.L.e

[twiggs]

I agree. However, why would she call? She could have text me her answer, but she didnt..I agree I got my hopes up, really up...But in my heart of hearts I believe she called me for more than to see how I was doing. Who knows I may be way off. She said she still cared about me. Well, we were together for 2 years...I dont know, help me guys.

[Mun]

I know how this feels. It's hard not to get your hopes up when you see even a small sign that there is still interest.

 

I think you should wait a few days and then call her. Be direct and ask her if she is still dating this other guy. If she is, then you really have no choice but to move on and just take this as her way of clearing her conscience. You should get some answers for your own piece of mind, but try not to expect too much that way you won't be disappointed ( I know--easier said than done )

[twiggs]

Do you think that will work muneca? What will happen to my NC i have been trying to keep. I keep banging myself in the head for answering the phone, and not letting her wait. However, if I call her and shes still with this guy, id be crushed.

[Mun]

The purpose of NC is to help you heal and move on. Indirectly it may get the dumpees curiosity going when they realize you are no longer calling or looking for them.

 

If you don't feel strong enough to call and get a negative from her--and walk away-- then maybe you should not call her. You need to be in a place emotionally where it makes no difference what her answer is, you can live with it because you know you will be ok.

[twiggs]

ok, so I call her, just come out with it. I ask if shes w/ him still, she says yes. Do I just move on? w/ no hope, or if she says no were not together, do i get more hope. The way she sounded when she said" i didnt mean to get into another relationship that fast, i tjust happened that way" or how she said shes happy gives me the sense there still together

[DBL]

Hey Twiggs,

 

First I have to say...why would you want her back after she started dating someone else. I think the reason that she is contacting you like she this is because of the 2 years you two spent together...it may still be a big adjustment for her, she may feel a little guilt. I felt guilty after a break up and started dating another girl right away...I wanted to do the same thing..call the girl up and tell her I was sorry...I never did it though, but I wish I did...would of made me feel better letting her know I was sorry for doing that to her and hurting her.

 

My advice is to just put it to rest. Your young, your applying for jobs...your going to meet more people and more girls. I was glad to be free at 21...enjoy it, before you know it you may meet someone else.

 

Good Luck

DBL

[twiggs]

Thanks DBL, more and more I think about what you said and it feels like the right thing to do. I dont know....

[DBL]

Twiggs...Nobody said breaking up is easy. A lot of us go through it. I have gone through A LOT. Every time I just cut it off and move on. End result is I usually always found a girl that had better qualities then the last. You'll see. You will look back one day and just shake your head wondering why you let this bother you so much.

 

DBL

[twiggs]

DBL, i dont know if this would change your opinion, but we were engaged. Does that change the process.

[DBL]

Unfortunately being engaged don't really hold any weight these days. I been engaged like 3 times. My father was engaged before he met my mom. Engagements don't mean much more then going out.

 

Sorry for being blunt with you, but you seem to be the only one that has any loyalty to the engagement and relationship. You need to find somebody that will have the same views as you do. Apparently your x fiance doesn't.

 

DBL

[annie24]

what time did it come? Might have been a drunk dial.

[annie24]

what time did it come? Might have been a drunk dial.

[twiggs]

3:14pm. I talked to her, it was for getting in a relationship that fast. She apoligized. SHe called me yesterday afternoon also, but I told her I had to go, and than last night she called and i did not answer. Whats going on here?

[twiggs]

I ran into her at the grocery store. She walked by, saw me, than walked back gave me a sad look, and gave me a hug. I haven't had a ex g/f hug me loke that before. Im probably making something out of nothing. She was with her mom and girfriend on a friday night....???

[iceesnowbubble]

If I were you i would have a talk with her...

She seems to be messing with your head a little bit...i mean, she sees you and gives you a sad look? why in the world would she do that if she were over you? I'm not trying to give you false hope, but you need to figure out what is going through her head... Don't let her toss you around okay?

[twiggs]

You got it. I have just never had an ex do this. Why would she be playin these games. The healing process has started but its tough to maintain NC when she intiates it.