Amandacast57 Posted February 12, 2013 Share Posted February 12, 2013 On Saturday night, I was out with some friends and ran into another group of good friends. There was a guy who was a mutual friend of my other friends and him and I started talking (I had briefly met him a few times before). He was very attractive, seemed to have his life together, as well as a nice guy. He asked me if I wanted to watch a movie with him the next day and have a few beers. Nothing crazy. I felt comfortable. On the way to his house, I called to double check directions and I SWEAR he said, after he asked if I was hungry, that he had to make sure HIS GIRL was happy. I did a double take and thought I heard wrong. When I got there, we started talking about life and just stuff. We moved to the couch to watch a movie and he became very pushy. He would try to get me to cuddle with him without my pants on and proceeded to take his off, so he was only in his boxers. I told him I was not comfortable with this. So he would say sorry and back off. Then he would start trying to kiss me. Then put his hands down my pants. I kept saying stop. He would back off and then say I'm sorry, I'm just really attracted to you. My response was that that was fine, but I needed him to respect the fact that I wasn't down with all that right away. He then asked me if I wanted to hang out Wednesday night. I agreed because maybe things would be different in a public setting, rather than a private one. After that, he continued to be too hands on. Finally I told him I had to leave to get ready for the work week. He begged and pleaded and compromised EVERYTHING to try to get me to stay. He would buy me dinner, rub my back, watch my show with me (because it was a show we could get into "together"). He told me he wanted me to be his Valentine. He kept talking about how he was ready to settle down and even asked me if I was happy with my living situation (almost like he was suggesting I live with him). Needless to say, I left. He kept texting me after that. Yesterday, I sent him a text to tell him I would be unable to hang out with him Wednesday night. Work has been so crazy and I'm on a bunch of deadlines and that we could get together this weekend. He went OFF on me. He started saying how this shows how much I care (REALLY DUDE?!? I've hung out with you once) and that he is one of the busiest insurance agents in the state and that he could make time to see me. I responded that I can't tell my boss I can't meet my deadlines because I want to hang out. A few hours later he texted me to apologize for acting the way that he did, that he just wanted to make sure I wasn't seeing anyone else. I hesitantly responded "its ok". But then he kept on about how if I really cared I'd make time to see him. Then he started asking why I couldn't see him this weekend. I said what are you talking about?!? I copied and pasted where I told him we could hang out this weekend. He said "OK This morning he texted me saying "Good morning. Did you wake up thinking about me?". I said "Haha, no actually I woke up thinking about how busy I'm going to be at work". His response??? That he thought we could do some sexting today, but obviously I'd be too busy for that. I didn't respond. He seems a little unstable, right??? Link to comment
oldenoughtoknow Posted February 12, 2013 Share Posted February 12, 2013 He seems flat out crazy to me. Run away from this one. Does he know where you live or work? Link to comment
Amandacast57 Posted February 12, 2013 Author Share Posted February 12, 2013 He seems flat out crazy to me. Run away from this one. Does he know where you live or work? He knows where I work but not where I live. Link to comment
camus154 Posted February 12, 2013 Share Posted February 12, 2013 A little "unstable"? Are you serious? I'll tell you a secret. There's a reason why he was pushing so fast and so hard for these things. Because in his judgment you were the type of woman who would either a) do it, or b) not be so offended off the bat that you never spoke to him again. So you weren't down with pushing things so fast, but there you are still agreeing to meet up with him this weekend. Why is that? Link to comment
pl3asehelp Posted February 12, 2013 Share Posted February 12, 2013 He would try to get me to cuddle with him without my pants on and proceeded to take his off, so he was only in his boxers. I told him I was not comfortable with this. So he would say sorry and back off. Then he would start trying to kiss me. Then put his hands down my pants. I kept saying stop. He would back off and then say I'm sorry, I'm just really attracted to you. My response was that that was fine, but I needed him to respect the fact that I wasn't down with all that right away. I don't quite understand the 'try to get you to cuddle without your pants on'? How did that work? What blows me away though is that after all this you said it was fine, but you're not down with it right away and then you send him a text saying you're willing to hang out AGAIN? Link to comment
MapleCanuck Posted February 12, 2013 Share Posted February 12, 2013 I'm a guy, RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He was disrespctful and lame. You deserve better. The funny thing is, we men love sex, but you have to show some class to get some. Don't meet a guy alone to watch a movie at first. Go out. Get a drink. Go for a walk. Get to know them. If a guy goes for your pants before she knows your middle name, RUN! Trust me, cut all contact with this guy. Ignore him after one final text letting him know you aren't interested at longer. Be firm. He needs to know the door is closed. Block him on all social network sites. You know how you expect to be treated, don't settle for less. The funny part is you sound like he would have gotten sex if he had just been patient and gotten to know you a few times. Am I right? Good luck. Link to comment
Edmund Exley Posted February 12, 2013 Share Posted February 12, 2013 WOW, you really need to ask??? Link to comment
Not a rookie Posted February 12, 2013 Share Posted February 12, 2013 I would disagree. Paul wants sex and doesn't hide it, there is no evidence he doesn't take no for an answer. Women get mad that some men get what they want and no how to play them. Well this guy does not hide it either. I think they should not get mad those men, they only need to think a little and they would be able to figure out what the man wants. Same goes for men figuring out women. Link to comment
Coily Posted February 12, 2013 Share Posted February 12, 2013 Yeah RUN! Also make sure your friends at work know some degree of this, maybe not everything, in order for people to be watching out for this guy. Maybe I'm overreacting, but I see stalker potential here. Link to comment
MapleCanuck Posted February 12, 2013 Share Posted February 12, 2013 Well this guy does not hide it either. I think they should not get mad those men, they only need to think a little and they would be able to figure out what the man wants. Same goes for men figuring out women. This guy sounds nuts. If he wanted sex, he showed no game whatsoever. I love sex too, but know women need to be comfortable with me first. That guy Paul is good and that audience of women were so full of it! They acted like they wouldn't be taken in by his compliments and flirting. Most women won't admit to being easily conquered on Natonal TV. Link to comment
Not a rookie Posted February 12, 2013 Share Posted February 12, 2013 To be honest with you I think Paul is a bit deranged himself. Who in their right mind would go on national TV to talk about his player habits? Well most national TV shows are staged anyway. Link to comment
calichick007 Posted February 12, 2013 Share Posted February 12, 2013 Why in the world would you even agree to go out again with someone who took his pants off during your first "date" (and I'm hesitant to even call watching tv at his house a date)?? He seems nuts and you'd be nuts to keep indulging him! How bizarre Link to comment
Amandacast57 Posted February 12, 2013 Author Share Posted February 12, 2013 A little "unstable"? Are you serious? I'll tell you a secret. There's a reason why he was pushing so fast and so hard for these things. Because in his judgment you were the type of woman who would either a) do it, or b) not be so offended off the bat that you never spoke to him again. So you weren't down with pushing things so fast, but there you are still agreeing to meet up with him this weekend. Why is that? Agreeing to meet up with him again this weekend was more of a way to keep things calm. I didn't want to say no, I think it is best that we don't see each other again then, BOOM, I'm being crammed into a suitcase and thrown in the river. Link to comment
Amandacast57 Posted February 12, 2013 Author Share Posted February 12, 2013 I don't quite understand the 'try to get you to cuddle without your pants on'? How did that work? What blows me away though is that after all this you said it was fine, but you're not down with it right away and then you send him a text saying you're willing to hang out AGAIN? It was the WEIRDEST thing!!! He just started to take his pants in front of me and I was like "What are you doing?!?!". He said jeans were not right for cuddling and insisted I took my pants off because he "wanted to feel my legs against his". I said no, that I did not want to do that and he kept saying "come on, come on". Link to comment
Amandacast57 Posted February 12, 2013 Author Share Posted February 12, 2013 Yeah RUN! Also make sure your friends at work know some degree of this, maybe not everything, in order for people to be watching out for this guy. Maybe I'm overreacting, but I see stalker potential here. You think I should??? I tried to brush it off but I've ignored and he keeps on. I was trying to not make it a big deal but I just feel "off" when it comes to this situation. Link to comment
Amandacast57 Posted February 12, 2013 Author Share Posted February 12, 2013 I'm a guy, RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He was disrespctful and lame. You deserve better. The funny thing is, we men love sex, but you have to show some class to get some. Don't meet a guy alone to watch a movie at first. Go out. Get a drink. Go for a walk. Get to know them. If a guy goes for your pants before she knows your middle name, RUN! Trust me, cut all contact with this guy. Ignore him after one final text letting him know you aren't interested at longer. Be firm. He needs to know the door is closed. Block him on all social network sites. You know how you expect to be treated, don't settle for less. The funny part is you sound like he would have gotten sex if he had just been patient and gotten to know you a few times. Am I right? Good luck. Typically, I would meet for a drink first, but I have met him before and we hung out Saturday night. I saw no signs of this at all. Link to comment
Not a rookie Posted February 12, 2013 Share Posted February 12, 2013 It was the WEIRDEST thing!!! He just started to take his pants in front of me and I was like "What are you doing?!?!". He said jeans were not right for cuddling and insisted I took my pants off because he "wanted to feel my legs against his". I said no, that I did not want to do that and he kept saying "come on, come on". One time I had a date with some guy. We went to a cafe, ate some ice cream and drank some coffee. He asked me if we can stop at my house so he can use the toilet. I let him into my apartment and went to fix something in the kitchen. When I returned to the living room, he was sitting totally naked on my sofa. LOL. Link to comment
Coily Posted February 12, 2013 Share Posted February 12, 2013 You think I should??? I tried to brush it off but I've ignored and he keeps on. I was trying to not make it a big deal but I just feel "off" when it comes to this situation. The fact that he will not back off and keeps insisting on seeing you, is has all sorts of red flags going off in my mind. Maybe because I am a little over protective of female friends, I would suggest you have a buddy system for a week or two at work or out and about, this kind of guy has trouble written all over him. Also you need to just go NO CONTACT with this guy. Link to comment
ParisPaulette Posted February 12, 2013 Share Posted February 12, 2013 YIKES! You should have run the minute he took his pants off and wanted you to the same...on the first date! Sorry, this guy is desperate and pushy and because now that you've shown some interest--i.e. agreed to a date--that he's decided that of course means that eventually he'll wear you down and of course you'll sleep with him. Personally I've always felt that desperation plus pushy plus ignoring my boundaries and/or being told to stop or other communication from me equals TROUBLE. Go NC and don't look back. Besides desperation is NEVER attractive and this guy just reeks of it. There are just too many red flags here. Link to comment
Amandacast57 Posted February 12, 2013 Author Share Posted February 12, 2013 You know how you expect to be treated, don't settle for less. The funny part is you sound like he would have gotten sex if he had just been patient and gotten to know you a few times. Am I right? Woah, Woah. I don't just jump in bed with people. If I'm dating someone and things are going well and we decide to take the next step, then that is when sex happens. Not ever by a man forcing himself on me. I'm not like that. Link to comment
Not a rookie Posted February 12, 2013 Share Posted February 12, 2013 Please don't be offended, yes this guy sounds a bit extreme but you also did certain things that helped it escalate. 1.Accepting that you guys have a date where alcohol is included- not advisable 2.You went over to his place- do I need to say more 3.You were not firm with your boundaries and gave him mixed messages Link to comment
PetiteGirl Posted February 12, 2013 Share Posted February 12, 2013 Desperation + Not respecting boundaries = horrible sex. Either way, don't waste your time. Link to comment
Amandacast57 Posted February 12, 2013 Author Share Posted February 12, 2013 Please don't be offended, yes this guy sounds a bit extreme but you also did certain things that helped it escalate. 1.Accepting that you guys have a date where alcohol is included- not advisable 2.You went over to his place- do I need to say more 3.You were not firm with your boundaries and gave him mixed messages I'm not offended. I guess I was just a little ignorant thinking that it wasn't a big deal to watch a movie with him since I had met him before and we had hung out for a while the night before. I've hung out with people like that with no problem. Plus I didn't think a beer would make a difference. We weren't getting drunk. But the reason I said that I would hang out with him while I was there and didn't yell at him for pushing the boundaries, was because I was honestly super nervous as to how he would react. I could barely get him to let me leave. So I hope you understand I was a bit more concerned for my safety, than putting my foot down and being mean. Even responding to him now was more of a, "ween him off", because he does know where I work. Link to comment
MapleCanuck Posted February 12, 2013 Share Posted February 12, 2013 Woah, Woah. I don't just jump in bed with people. If I'm dating someone and things are going well and we decide to take the next step, then that is when sex happens. Not ever by a man forcing himself on me. I'm not like that. I meant in time you'd have sex with him if he actually took the time his time. I didn't mean anything bad. Some guys can't even hold their horniness in for even a minute. I love sex, but know I shouldn't grab a breast when going in for a first kiss. Haha As I sad earlier, RUN!!!!!!! Link to comment
Amandacast57 Posted February 12, 2013 Author Share Posted February 12, 2013 I meant in time you'd have sex with him if he actually took the time his time. I didn't mean anything bad. Some guys can't even hold their horniness in for even a minute. I love sex, but know I shouldn't grab a breast when going in for a first kiss. Haha As I sad earlier, RUN!!!!!!! Haha, I was hoping you weren't implying anything bad. He kept saying how he was just so attracted to me. I said "It is ok if you are attracted to someone but you really need to control yourself". But it was like he had wax in his ears. He would be all over me and I would tell him to stop and maybe 15-20 minutes later, he was doing it again!!! Even tried to get me to touch his penis!! Link to comment
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