I dumped him and now want him back

[hunni]

i had been going out with my boyfriend for 2 years when i broke up with him. I mainly broke up because my mum hated him, and i was happy when i did. Now i am at uni and he is still at home, and i am missing him soooooo much!!!! I have told him but he just says that i hurt him too much. I can't see myself loving anyone else, and i can't imagine being that close again with anyone else. I do love him, else being apart wouldn't hurt this much, but he can't even make time to see me anymore. I am desperate for some honest advice please reply!!!!!!

For the long version:

We were really happy for the 2 yrs, and then we went on holiday together with my parents. when we were on our own it was amazing, everything was perfect and i have naver been happier, but then on holiday he started to act like a child. I felt like his mum not his girlfriend! We started to talk less and drifted apart. And whilst on holiday my mum gave me her true opinion of him

When i got my A-level results and found i was going to university, i thought seen as things weren't so good that i would break up with him and have have a clean start. It really hurt him, and he was crying for like 2 weeks! i felt sooo bad, but i wanted to move on and i was happy.

Since then i have moved on, but going to clubs and things is horrible now and i don't feel comfortable. I have pulled other guys, but it isn't me to go out n do that kinda thing. I fancy other guys, but can't see myself being so close to them as i was with him.

We talk on msn now, but he won't call me and i'm a poor student so can't call him. He confuses me, because he says that he still loves me, but i hurt him too much so he doesn't want to be with me any more. I want to be back with him so much, and i can't believe that i dumped him because things weren't perfect for 3 weeks!!!!!

HELP!!!!!

[cmacey]

Well, I don't really know much of your story except that you said you dumped him because your mom hated him. Was there any other reason why you did it? Don't just get back together withhim because you miss him. If he doesn't want to get back together than you have to move on. You're just starting college and although you may not feel like it right now, there are plenty of others out there who you will love in time. You have the perfect opportunity to get to know someone else just as well or better than you knew your ex. You can try to get him back, but if he doesn't want to too, then you need to move on, not necessarily start immediately goig out with someone else, but do stuff for yourself and be yourself and you will find someone else in time.

[skynet74]

Well I have to be honest., If I was your Ex I don't know if I would get back together with you either.

 

You see...... I was also hurt by my girlfriend just as badly as you hurt your Boyfriend. I know how it feels to be on the other side. I know first hand about the pain, the disappointment, the confusion and the lonliness. My Ex meant the world to me. We were together for 10 years. Then she suddenly pulled the rug out from underneath me and emotionally tortured my heart. We no longer talk.... because that's the way she wants it.

 

Keep in mind that I did not do anything so incredibly bad as to deserve any of this. She even admitted that to me. She told me that it was all the little things that drove her crazy. All the little things that get on couples nerves when they've been together a while. For some reason she could no longer handle it. So she left. Stepped on my heart all over again when she told me she could not even remain my friend.

 

So I know what it's like to be hurt. Your EX is feeling it too. As much as I love what my Ex and I had..... it would be difficult for me to go back with her too. When you hurt someone so incredibly bad, it's very difficult to have them just forget about it. when you hurt some one so bad without even having a real good reason.... THEN IT MAKES IT 100 TIMES WORSE. You did not have a good reason to break up with your Ex. My Ex did not have a good reason to break up with me either. So those are the worst kind of breakups because we did not even deserve what we got. So if we can be treated so Bad when we didn't even deserve it....... then how are we supposed to ever feel comfortable in a relationship with you ever again knowing that it's so easy for you to up and leave without a good reason?

 

Your Ex doesn't want to be hurt again. He's in protection mode. He's not going to put himself in a situation for the same thing to happen all over again. He knows that you are capable of it. That ruins your chances right there. You simply hurt him way to much by what you did. Consider it a lesson learned. I'm still waiting for the day that my Ex learns hers. I'm pretty confident that she'll be in your shoes one day. You and her should talk.

 

I am sorry...... but what you did hits a little to close to home. It's similar to what my EX did to me. So it's difficult for me to feel bad for you. The only one I feel bad for is your EX because I know how much it hurts.

 

 

 

 

John

[popo]

hunni,

 

that's the world that we're living. u just cant get all what u want. u dont want him u dump him, u want him back than he has to be with u. he's human being he has feeling. of course he's still in love with u. how can people loose interest in weeks? but the problem's now he has 'trauma' that if he's back with u, who can guarantee that u're not going to hurt him anymore?

skynet74's right. u have to work on ur self. examine ur mistakes and fix the prob. stop annoying him. he'll come back to u when he's ready and feel SECURE to b with u again. it only happen when everything has been fixed and u have learn from ur mistakes. it takes a lot of time and energy. but it still can b done.