Ending a Five year realtionship

[Bizw]

Hello Everybody and thanks for the great advice in the past,

 

My girlfriend broke up with me 5 days ago. Shes 20 and I'm 22, and she told me that she no longer wants to be with me because of several reasons which I'll give you here

 

-She wants to be able to go out to the bars more than she does know which is about 2 days a week without feeling guilty or restrained by me. I try and give her her freedom but at times I'm worried that she might get meet someone else at the bar since she is attractive and outgoing. She also drinks heavily until bar close which worries me.

 

-She wants all here free time to be able to hang out with her friends that are also single.

 

-She feels that we do not always click or go together.

 

I know she is young and probobly afraid of being in such a serious relationship without being with several other guys first. I know that friends are important for anybody as well. I just find it hard to swallow that she wants to give up everything that we had and both hope to have in the future. She has talked many times about are kids, or getting married someday and so on.

 

Now, onto my question, in these first five days of break up we have went out to eat, went to a movies, to a bar and slept together, and she has also told me that she wants to get back together and then broken back up with me in a matter of hours. We also bought tickets to a hockey game for tonight. Obviously shes confused.

 

Last night I decided enough is enough. I wasnt going to answer my phone when she calls anymore. She called me over 20 times in an hour and then I finally answered. I told I'm not a toy, that I love but I can't go through this anymore. She then proceded to tell me she was in her car and was going to find were I was so we could talk. She was frantic and yelling at me to do what she wanted, feeling as she could still control me.

I told her I wasnt home and I wouldnt tell her were I was. She told me if I met her that everything would be fine and she wouldnt change her mind again. I don't believe her and I don't think it would be smart to go to the game with her tonight either.

 

How can I cut off contact without driving her to hating me or going out and finding another guy right away to get back at me. I know I can't let her control me anymore. I'm moving into a new apartment with some friends that I met and I thought this would also help are relationship because then she could come over with her friends and we could all hang out, go to the bars or whatever. I think that this would really help us, so I do still hope that things will work out eventually. I know she needs time to think so if you have any ideas how to cut off contact from her without causing her blocking me out forever. Should I go to the game tonight and keep things light and not bring up are realtionship? I want to force her to understand that I'm not a toy, and relize that she can't have me just when she wants or when her friends are busy. Any advice would help so much.

 

Thanks for reading!

 

Dan

[hockeyboy]

before i say anything..so shes saying she wants to get back together?

[Bizw]

Yes, But I know shes very confused

[Cecelius]

Confusion never has good results. At least she's not cheating on you.

 

 

She is partially correct though: it's a bad idea to be in a serious relationship at that age. Dump her (for real, not as a technique) and start dating around.

[hockeyboy]

tell her you need your time and space, do it for yourself. tell her if its meant to be, it will happen. see her sometimes, but not all the time, see how things turn out. if your love is strong enough, you will find eachother.

[boochanik2]

tell you the truth man do what you think if you love her then make her wit a little then pick it back up for remember she dumbed you

[DBL]

Well she been tied up with you for a few years, so she missed her teen years growing up and experimenting. Now she sees the nightlife and is drawn to it. I used to date a girl, she was 22, but was pregnant by age 17. She missed a few years where me personally was out partying and having a carefree time. While she was working as a waitress, she would see these kids that were 17-20 years of age, and wanted to do the things that they do.

 

Honestly there is not much you can do about it. If she doesn't go do the things she wants to do now...she may end up doing it later...like after you are married and have kids.

 

As I said before, a lot of my x's planned to marry me and have kids with me. I only married one who I will be divorcing, and I have no kids. Talk is talk.

 

One thing I did learn through the years...don't do anything for anybody else. Don't move into an apartment because you think it will help your relationship...it just doesn't work that way.

 

If she is treating like you don't want to be treated, then cut her off and go through the suffereing now, rather then later.

 

Good Luck

DBL

[pineapplegirl]

>I'm going to have to agree with DBL on this one. know, it's a shocker, me agreeing with DBL) It sounds like she needs a little time to catch up on being young and unattached.

 

>You should do the same...

 

>Another good point by DBL, don't go planning your life around someone...it puts a lot of unnecessary stress on you, your s/o and the relationship.