Boyfriend cancels plans all the time, how to explain it without "overreacting"

[SapphireNoir10]

He ignores you because he doesn't seem emotionally invested. He should miss YOU. He should apologise

 

why are you taking this poor treatment???

[becomingkate]

You're exactly right. He does this every time - we argue, he ignores me, then I miss him so I apologize and come crawling back to him. I'm not going to do that this time. It's hard, because I know all I have to do is say "I'm sorry, I was wrong" and smile, and it'll all be over with. But I'm too pissed to cave this time.

 

Stand strong!

[nutbrownhare]

I don't think that's the case, because this has been a problem from the beginning. Like I said, we get along great, it's just this one issue keeps coming up and driving me crazy. It confuses me because only two days ago, he gave me this speech about how my ex was an idiot for letting me go and how much he cares about me etc etc., but then he goes and does the one thing that he knows bothers me more than anything (bailing on plans). I don't get it. I think it all boils down to immaturity.

 

Actually, him telling you how much he cares about you and then acting in a way which states the opposite IS consistent with someone who's checking out of the relationship, but doesn't want any drama or to feel responsible for his own actions. So he'll tell you what you want to hear.

 

The fact that he's been like this from the beginning states that he's never been that bothered, not even at the start - not that it's OK to treat you like this, and that you shouldn't be worrying about it. Rather than being concerned about his feelings for you, concentrate on your feelings for him. If you think of the kind of relationship you'd like to have, and your ideal partner, do the following feature on your list:

 

- unreliable

- hypocritical

- disrespectful

- passive/aggressive?

[Natasha24]

Small update..

 

I've become pretty close with his mom, she's very sweet and we text back and forth sometimes. I haven't talked to her in a few days, and she just sent me a text asking if I had talked to him lately, because he told her last night that he "really, really misses me".

 

What the heck? Why would he tell his mom this instead of me? Why doesn't he just call me and apologize? I don't understand. This is an embarrassing amount of drama for two 24 year olds.. I feel like I'm in high school with all this "he said/she said" BS. I don't even know what to say to her, this is awkward now.

[nutbrownhare]

Small update..

 

I've become pretty close with his mom, she's very sweet and we text back and forth sometimes. I haven't talked to her in a few days, and she just sent me a text asking if I had talked to him lately, because he told her last night that he "really, really misses me".

 

What the heck? Why would he tell his mom this instead of me? Why doesn't he just call me and apologize? I don't understand. This is an embarrassing amount of drama for two 24 year olds.. I feel like I'm in high school with all this "he said/she said" BS. I don't even know what to say to her, this is awkward now.

 

His mom, no matter how sweet, has no business getting involved in his relationships. If he's got something to say to you, let him come to you and say it. You need say nothing to her. She's got no business getting involved in your relationships, either. Carry on with your life; once he realises you're not going to come grovelling after him he will either come to you, or he won't. There's no need to force the issue or partake in any drama - especially as your life is already pretty full without him.

[blueidealist24]

Small update..

 

I've become pretty close with his mom, she's very sweet and we text back and forth sometimes. I haven't talked to her in a few days, and she just sent me a text asking if I had talked to him lately, because he told her last night that he "really, really misses me".

 

What the heck? Why would he tell his mom this instead of me? Why doesn't he just call me and apologize? I don't understand. This is an embarrassing amount of drama for two 24 year olds.. I feel like I'm in high school with all this "he said/she said" BS. I don't even know what to say to her, this is awkward now.

 

He sounds really immature. Don't cave. He just wants to get away with not apologizing and making you "wrong".. make him call you! Of course his Mom would be on his side too, she probably got a distorted version of the argument biased in his favour if he did tell her about the argument.