Men Who Fear Rejection

[ltorivia]

Why are some men afraid to approach women, even if they really like the particular woman?

[nothingface1989]

mostly because theyre shy

[Zarah]

This works the other way aswell. A lot of women are afraid to approach men they like too. It could be out of shyness, fear, or a number of things.

[chanceit]

Define really like...

 

i'd never aproach anyone when i just though oh she's pretty...

[keep45]

If you really like someone, you're afraid of rejection. Not only would it mean that you wouldn't be able to spend time with this girl, but there's a possibility she would be offended and you want to at least stay friends...

 

At least that's how I feel...

[toggle]

i think in school years i think its because what other people think speiclaly if your rejected

[RayF]

after a guy is rejected a few times and he's shy theres no question as to why he would be hesitant.

 

regardless of weather he likes you or not, why would he put his pride on theline if theres no reason to think that you may like him?

 

This is what bothers me abut women and what our society deems as the norm.

 

A man encounters many women each day, what would make you different from any of the other women he converses with.

 

 

It's not as simple as simply being friendly to him.

 

It's a known fact that men who are self reluctant dismiss or are oblivious to women's signs of interest.

 

i know i'm not absd looking guy but i NEVER know if a woman is interested in me simply because i've never been asked out diretly, or had any woman hint that they find me attractive etc.

 

Otherwise how am i supposed to know they are not just being friendly?

 

Why is it that women claim to want equal oppertunity yet just still wait around for men to put THIER egos on the line and be the ones with the power on who to choose and why.

 

For men like me, who are sensitive and fear rejection being single and alone is hell.

 

I havn't been as scared as I am now in years. MyEx broke up with me in august and i'm forced back into having to meet new people and date.Something i'm petrified to do because i don't enjoy itand it dosn't come naturally.

 

do you have any idea as to how terrible rejection feels?

 

grwing up i was overweight and lonely because my parents got divorced.

 

I missed,out on the testing grounds for socializing andrelationships because it wasn't until i got half way through highschool that i got into shape.

 

even then i was self concius and felt undesirable.

 

These are hard things to deal with,

 

for a woman it's simple. she can be shy but she will still get asked out...

 

Men are expected to do it and some men just can;t handle rejection becase it's too painfull.

 

as i get older i get braver but rejection even in the slightest form still hurtsthe exact same amount every time.

 

Heres a thught ladies...maybe if you're interested in a guy YOU be the one to be assertive about it.

 

why are there rules? women should have to deal with being turned down the same as men...

[sambo]

I'll second that....

[JonnyG]

Why are some men afraid to approach women, even if they really like the particular woman?

 

Rejection.

 

Try it, its not nice

[CarterJonas]

I think that all of us to some degree fear rejection. But it is part of the dating game.

 

If you fancy someone whom you think might be shy, give him a warm smile so it is easier for hime to come over to chat.

[ck]

I agree with RayJ

 

and take a look at what JonnyG wrote

Rejection.

 

Try it, its not nice

 

That should need no explination if your a woman and you didn't understand that something is wrong with you

 

Anyway in short you put your pride and dignity in the hands of somebodyelse and not sure if they like you or not.

 

I suggest you girls start doing something other than flirting to show You like him.

[toggle]

to certain peopl (me ) rejection is painfull.

when i was in school i pretty much fell in love (damit i still think about ehr now and that was like 2 years ago!) with a girl, and she was flirting with me big time but i was too blind to see it at the time and was too scared of rejection to make a move (specially if it would break our relationship as m8s back then) it turned out she did like me and i reackon we would done great together

 

grrrrrrrr

[doorik]

See ck, I didn't even have to start this tread. Maybe I'll just cut and paste from the other one. Let's start with....

 

I've known ladies that tried asking a guy out once, were rejected and promptly decided they would never do it again. Yet us men must lick our wounds and go in for another round simply because we're men. Many guys will eagerly step into a ring against an opponent twice their size before they'll consider asking a girl they're attracted to out for dinner. A girl can put a guy in a world of hurt and no matter how fast or skilled he is, he'll never avoid it. Flesh and bones heal, blood is cheap and pain is free, but the heart is a different matter. There's nothing poetic or sappy about it; when a guy asks out a girl, especially one he is emotionally attracted to, he is peeling away his armour and forfeiting any sort of defence. When the blade sinks, it sinks deep.

 

I've witnessed guys the size of houses who were unafraid of rabid dogs take three hours to work up the nerve to talk to a girl, only to be humiliated right there while they're totally defenceless. It's almost comical watching guys that big wilt under the merciless tongue of a girl a third their size. But the looks on their faces, the ones you usually see morbidly frozen on road kill, aren't.

[ck]

Cut and paste hey Doorik that's not fair.

[doorik]

Cut and paste hey Doorik that's not fair.

 

I know, I know - But I'm quite fond of this one in particular because it's quite illustrative of our (guys) point of view isn't it?

[lonelynshy]

I think it's very unfair to expect guys to always make the first move. It's all very well to say it's an evolutionary thing but then there are so many things we do that characterize us as human and not as cavemen. Why not this too?

 

A guy friend of mine told me that although I have a lot to offer, my appearances are decieving and it turns EACH AND EVERY girl off. Face it, girls decide on a lot on first appearances and that is very unfair.

[ck]

my appearances are decieving and it turns EACH AND EVERY girl off. Face it, girls decide on a lot on first appearances and that is very unfair.

 

Yeah they do and they wouldn't want a man to judge them on first appearance either that is why they are such SUPER HYPOCITES

 

They are such terrible liars also I mean they say things on here just to try and cheer you guys up and I see though it so easily.

[Zarah]

Now just a second here guys...Before you start calling us all "super hypcrites" think about what you're saying. You're saying we decide a lot on first appearance, which I won't deny, but you need to ask yourself this, what's attracted you to these girls?

 

Everybody judges everybody else to a certain extent on appearance. Before you meet somebody it's the only thing you know about them, so of course it's going to happen. Just don't forget that it's still something that works both ways.

 

I know I'm probably way over my head here, posting in a male dominated thread and all *grins*, but just keep it somewhere in mind that women are afraid of all of this too. I can't say that I know anyone, male or female, who isn't afraid of being rejected. It just all comes down to who's willing to make the first move..

[ltorivia]

Guys, guys, guys....I understand all the emotions falling down your cheeks like tears.

 

But, as a girl, I HATE making the first move. When a guy shows interest in me, I take notice, confront him and flirt around, and guess what?

 

HE ACTS LIKE he doesn't want to flirt back anymore. What the hell? Granted, he is on the unattractive side (no offense, but at least I gave him a chance. man has a sense of humor.) What is he thinking? He's happy to see me but doesn't want to make any moves anymore. I get annoyed, bored and leave. When I walk away, he tries to think of some quick conversational thoughts before I completely disappear on him.

 

Enlighten me here, guys.

[Shinobie]

Iono for me im just really shy and i really am embarrassed of getting rejected and im afraid of any upset that will make me depressed.its not a matter fact that i am afraid of the objections its the fact that the thing that might cause the rejection.1. me being unattractive2.not knowing what to talk about and 3.i dont understand girls one bit and i dont know how to make them happy.Im extremely embarrassed when i try to talk to someone and they dont talk back to u at all it makes me very .

[ltorivia]

There is nothing wrong with women picking their men. There are more men between the ages of 25 and 45 than women in this society, SO OF COURSE, women will strictly choose their men. There's an abundance of you men.

 

But what I don't understand is why 1) men will flirt with you 2) stop flirting with you once they get to know you 3) girl gets upset 4) girl leaves the man for being stiff and scared.

[2bhappy0212]

Who labels men desperate for asking women out? There is nothing wrong with men asking women out that was the point I was trying to make. Maybe I am dense but I have never labeled a guy desperate for asking me out but I have had guys friends that have been suspicious when a girl approaches. Typically they label them easy or gold diggers. My girlfriends also look down on girls that are too forward, they label them as being desperate. So in my experience society's reaction to women asking out men and has rarely been a positive response. I am not asking you to agree with me I just think it is unrealistic to wait for women to change becasue it is not going to happen today or tomorrow it is going to take time. I agree it is not fair that men have to always make the first move but that simply is how it is so get over it. I am sorry to break it to you but society is not as progressive as you might think we just got rid of segregated schools 50 years ago,women still do not receive equal pay in the workplace, laws prohibiting homosexual activities still exist, we have enough real issues to address in racial, ethnic, religious and gender equality that equality in dating is not a top priority. Once we finish addressing real issues of equality we can then turn to dating equality until then you need to get out there, mingle, be friendly and ask the girl out.

[madhornet]

I can tell you rejection hurts as it has happened to me every time I've asked a girl out except once, 1 time out of 5 isn't a good success ratio in my book. The other time the girl asked me and I said yes, she ended up messing me around but that's beside the point.

 

I think there's this expectation that's it's all up to the guy to do the asking which basically puts all the pressure on him and none on the girl. Why should we have to face the rejection all the time?

 

If I get on with someone I meet through friends and we have a load in common then I'll have no problem asking them out having passed the initial nervous barrier, likewise I hope she'd be willing to do the same. However I won't just walk up to someone I don't know and ask them out, that just asks for me to be rejected again.

 

If the so called 'gender stereotypes' are changing regarding equality for women then maybe it's about time it happened in the dating world too, you can't have it one way in one situation but some different way in another.

[ltorivia]

What about guys who are not rejected by women, but then all of a sudden don't know how to act around women anymore and cry when the women leave them for other men?

 

Men: don't just stop 'flirting' just cause you got the woman. You become boring and annoying. We women like excitement and compatbility, but definitely unpredictable behavior.

[2bhappy0212]

Despite what you might think Society has not progressed to a point were women are viewed in the same light as men. My point is until true equality is reached then women will not take on the male role in dating because of the stigma.

 

I believe women take a lot of RISK in dating. Women physically are not dominate so we put alot a trust in men not to take advantage of this physical disadvantage. . (LOL I kinda sound like Jesse Jackson). I am a single women and I live alone so I think every time I give out my phone number, have a man visit my home, or am basically alone with him I am taking a risk. My ego is not taking a hit but at any point this man can take advantage of me physically. As women we do not but are ego on the line but we definitely but our safety on the line when dating. I am not saying that every man is crazy, personally I have never meet any crazy ones but there is always that possibility.