Men Who Fear Rejection

[Ceema-k]

oh a side note..

al7, I don't know what's going on with your Quote function... but your messages are increasingly difficult to make out & read.

 

my eyes are way too jacked from sitting in front of the computer, see.

[al7]

Ceema-k:

I can remind myself that attracting women is not about modelling yourself after negative stereotypes (i.e. The Jerk). I also get irked when people foccus only on polar extremes (on any issue) and totally disregard the middle ground, which more often than not, makes the most sense.

You mentioned your friend how started adopting a "who cares" attitude. I think that's great.. cuz that doesn't necessarily mean he's acting like a jerk with women. What are the results of this transforrmation? Is it quantifiable (sleeping with many women each month)? Qualitative (found a great gf)? Or does he simply feel better about himself?

---

Very good question. He had quite a lot of gf, not super many but a lot.

I think that the result of transformation is mostly how girls treat him.

They do treat him well now! I guess they are kinda scared to lose such a cool guy who constantly show they "I dont care that much". The idea is simple for a girl: if he doesnt care then maybe he can get any girl he woants so he is cool and I should try to keep him"

He found a good gf, I am not impressed but he liked her a lot. She is not pretty but I guess good as a person. They got married already.

 

 

All I want to get accross really is you go out on the street and see couples. Can you honestly think each of those guys is a jerk?

---

I dont see couple on streets, they all hiding in cars.. but anyway:

Right, good point. I am sure that most of guys in couple I see

are either rich enough or adopted that "i dont care attitude to some high extent. Otherwise she as a part of a couple would just stomp on a nice guy who cares...women test men constantly. But thats just what I think. Maybe it is not true.

 

Of course not. Sure the jerks are out there, doing their thing and working their niche. They continue to serve the needs of women who have low self-esteem, emotional issues or the chronically immature. occasionally, jerks will crossover and poach women who would otherwise have the better judgement to go with a "Good Guy" or even a "Wimp".

---

You think like an angel. All women would go for a jerk in terms of dating.

But you r right, it would not last long. but though jerks dont want it to last long they can easily pick up next freshly enchanted female...

 

What I should have done with my diagram was make the Nice Guy circle the largest of the 3.. to represent the fact that most guys out there are decent dudes and deserve to have great relationships. A lot of my friends fall into that category. They are NICE, upstanding guys, who have their share of insecurities and other human frailties. They treat girls they date with respect and do nice things for them. No surprise, a few of them have a "who cares" attitude that helps to attract ladies & also protects their own egos. They are all these things... but they rarely ever take crap from women. They don't allow themselves to be pushed around. That's key. I admire my friends for that. Not because they are players and sleep with someone new each week. But because they can be attractive guys and still stay true to themselves.

---

Oh I am not saying jerks are great. The attitude "i dont care" is great.

The attitude "no crap" is great. Thats what nice guys have to learn from jerks.

[Aanhanth]

Another possibility is a person who has lived through a divorce as a young child.